To ask who would date a man without a college degree and/or earning less?

[CleopatraSelene]

It's such a big talking point with sexist men now & also in general think pieces in media. So I thought I'd do an AIBU poll out of curiosity.
I personally would date someone who earns less & I would date someone without a degree. I would want someone smart but that isn't synonymous, esp when you look at idiots like Owen Jones & Boris who went to good unis.

However, I date women so not directly comparable

. Also housing is not an issue for me, and I know I am very lucky in this as right now housing costs are ofc out of control & the government fails to do anything...

I suspect housing & wish to be SAHM are big factors, and reasonably so.

Yes. Dp doesn't have a degree and earns less. Been together since I was late teens though.
If I was single now, I would consider earnings when dating.
It's fine to have a disparity when raising shared children, you are a family. But when you don't have shared children in the mix, you're simply subsidising another adult.
The degree aspect wouldn't bother me, as long as he could hold intelligent conversations.

No need to knock humanities, they're valuable subjects when done properly.

The issue is uni as a whole is going down.

All my boyfriends to date have earned less, when I was going out with them, including DP. Not an issue at all for me.

They’ve all been university educated too, and this used to be one of my ‘filters’ on OLD. I wouldn’t rule out someone who didn’t go to university but I seemed to click more with men who had, especially if they had had a similar university experience as me (type of university, got involved in societies/sport).

Ethics and sex matter most to me, although I'd want him to be able to talk about philosophy and literature as well (so being well-read and able to think critically would be nice, though a degree isn't needed for those and plenty of people who have degrees are lacking in those areas).

A university degree is important to me because I want someone who values education. It’s also just incredibly rare for a person in my family or social circle not to go to university.

Salary is less important. I can earn my own money.

Most of the men I've dated haven't had a degree. And most of them have the same or (much) higher salary than I do.

My DH left school before sitting his GCSEs. I have a degree. We met doing the same job and have exactly the same take home pay.

Add to that that different people grew up in different environments and some with less opportunities.

And degrees are not equal to begin with. Many are much easier to obtain than others.

A friend with a degree and PHD in something to do with politics was very upset/devastated when his daughter did an arts degree. He referred to being ‘disappointed’ whenever anyone asked how she was.

No, no, I understand that. I suspect most wen are more concerned about earnings & intelligence than simply degrees.

Yes, it's sadly clear many unis are not instilling proper critical thinking.

Yes because there are more important things to me. As long as he can hold a proper conversation and discuss/debate things with me.

My friends DH has a first in something intelligent. He's a fucking prick though. All he talks about is how clever he is and how much he earns.

Same. As bad as it sounds, I actually very rarely come across anyone who didn’t go to university across my family / social circle / coworkers. Even our support staff and EAs all went to university. It’s just the world I seem to inhabit.

I married a man without a degree, and throughout our married life we always earned pretty much the same. I was fine with it. Him - not so much. It ended badly and part of that was his incredibly low self esteem, which regularly manifested as him putting down my university education. If I were to get into another relationship (not happening), I'd have to be sure that the man I was dating was happy and had good self esteem with no hangups about differences in education - because it's not a measure of how intelligent or capable someone is at all.

I am with someone who earned as much as me a few years ago and has now retrained to be a school teacher, and is earning 1/3 of what I do, but it certainly doesn't bother me! I am proud of him for the socially responsible choice. If we move in at some point, we might have to think about contributions to the joint-kitty, and if I should pay more, which to he honest I haven't thought through yet.

My fiancé doesn’t have a degree (neither do I to be fair) and he also earns slightly less than me. But I don’t care - he’s funny, intelligent, curious and interesting. Also his job is very technical and requires lots of physical and mental skill.

Yes. I married one

College degree? Two a penny round my gaff, well 200 quid actually (actullement if vous voudrez French one).

DH doesn't even have his GCSE's and earns triple the amount I do.

Wouldn't bother me if someone didn't have a degree at all. I'm very educated but it proves very little other than I can pass exams. It's a terrible way to judge someone.

I don't mind about earning less either.

That said, I wouldn't date anyone without drive and ambition. It doesn't really matter for what but I've no time for laziness.

That's very sad. I agree thar part of it is men putting down women if they are more educated or high-earning.

Well, neither Bill Gates nor Steve Jobs completed university and they did alright for themselves!

University isn’t for everyone, it’s your drive and outlook on life that gets you places.

I have a foundation degree (that I got whilst working full time raising two kids) about 7 years ago. I also have a professional qualification.
I out earn DH.
He left school with no Olevels or CSE’s and at 61 is in a minimum wage job.
I love him to bits but I can’t lie, life would’ve been easier( financially) if I’d married someone with better prospects. But I fell in love 27 years ago and didn’t really consider how it might impact our future.

I have a PhD and my OH left school without any GCSEs (but did go on to get functional skills in maths and English). Both in our late 30s. He earns more than me and is a very successful tradesman.

Degree or not isn't important to me.

Earning less? it depends, I would want him to be earning say 60k as a minimum because life is expensive.

Same. For me it's important to have things in common. There's nothing wrong with not having a degree, and obviously there are loads of really intelligent people without degrees, but level of education and an interest in academic stuff are part of what dh and I have in common and they are things I'd have wanted to have in common with any long-term partner.

I find it weird how judgmental and inconsistent people are about other people's preferences when it comes to choosing a partner. Somehow it's fine to prefer dating men with blond hair or a particular physique or an interest in art or rugby, but it's prejudiced to prefer someone academic.