Page 8 | Why is everyone such a wet lettuce?

gorlomi · 2025-10-01T14:12:22+00:00

Hand-wringing over badges. Upset over name origins. The list goes on and on. Are people just bored and want some attention online or something? It's my own fault for reading threads on here, and having other social media I guess!

RampantIvy · 04/10/2025 15:43

Great post @VoltaireMittyDream
Re your last paragraph - it almost feels like anxiety has become an epidemic.

Too many people confuse being nervous or apprehensive with anxiety. This then diminshes the problem for those who genuinely suffer from it.

Teeteringpiles555 · 04/10/2025 17:00

VoltaireMittyDream · 04/10/2025 14:47

I agree - I think avoiding real life interaction allows you to nurture an idealising or paranoid fantasy about what other people are actually like.

I hated going into shops on my own, making phone calls, that sort of thing when I was a self-conscious teenager. Fairly normal teenage stuff. But the more I had to do it, the more opportunities I had to notice that everyone else is just doing their own thing, making mistakes, being embarrassing and odd at times, saying stupid things now and then, sometimes being an arse, and that nobody goes through life already knowing how to do things and how to behave in every circumstance.

The earlier you realise this about the world, the better - it frees you up to do so much more, and to let yourself learn and explore.

I notice even with my Gen Alpha kid that so much of the content he gravitates to is by creators going on and on about their experiences of anxiety, or being misunderstood, or embarrassing things that have happened to them - but without any sort of redemptive conclusion where they overcome it. Instead, they monetise it - they stay indoors all the time making little stylised naive animations & really bedding down into their anxious identity, interacting virtually with sycophantic 8-year-olds rather than with friends their own age IRL. This sort of obsessive self-centred navel gazing and fear of other people’s judgement becomes almost aspirational - because look! This anxious kid made millions by staying in a darkened room, talking about how horrible people were to him at school. It’s a mess.

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I agree that there is definitely a narrative of “feel sorry for me please because of x, y or z on-line” which is rarely challenged and which would be cured within two weeks of experience in rl working in a supermarket for example when you would learn that the whole world has problems and carries on anyway, and more importantly, if you go around asking for people to feel sorry for you, it quickly has the opposite effect!

BogRollBOGOF · 04/10/2025 17:44

DS is autistic so naturally more anxious than average. But some of it is over normal things, just more intense. We work at breaking it down into more managable baby-steps and building up his experiences and confidence at coping.
Avoidance is the worst strategy for him as it allows those fears and insecurities to fester and grow.

RampantIvy · 04/10/2025 21:07

Avoidance is the worst strategy for him as it allows those fears and insecurities to fester and grow.

You are spot on @BogRollBOGOF

SouthernNights59 · 04/10/2025 21:13

RampantIvy · 04/10/2025 11:25

I posted this on another thread, then thought of this one, so I will post it again here:

I feel that the internet encourages people to avoid personal interaction. Back in the day we all had to interact with people in person or on the phone, and we built up resilience to do this because there was no other choice.

I realise that there will always be people who will find this impossible, but for someone like me who was frightened to say boo to a goose when I left school in 1977, learning to deal with the public on the phone and in person eventually gave me more confidence to speak to people and enjoy their company.

Nowadays people think "I don't have to anwer the phone/see people I'll just hide behind a screen instead". People don't know how to get out of their comfort zone because they have choices.

I was exactly the same. I started work three weeks after my 16th birthday in 1975 and was shy and quiet. Having to actually phone people, and deal with the public in person, really helped me and I became so much more confident. In those days we didn't have the option of opting out "because ..........", we just did it.

YelramBob · 04/10/2025 21:39

StewkeyBlue · 01/10/2025 19:44

"I don't know what to say because I don't like confrontation"

"My neighbour asked if 7 of her family members could camp in our garden for a party for the weekend, and they are still there 5 weeks later . Can anyone help me word a way of asking her to gently suggest that they might leave? I don't like confrontation"
A: "could you say it is against your insurance?" "tell them you need to mow the grass and offer to pay for a hotel" "put a passive aggressive post on your neighbours Facebook page saying has anyone noticed any noise during the night in nearby gardens?". ANYTHING other than just ASK them to leave.

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See also: Meeting our friends tonight for dinner. Friends earn £100k a day and will order lobster and Moet, DH and I are poor and will share a salad and glass of tap water. Friends will want to split the bill, my anxiety is through the roof and I'm dreading the meal - what shall I do?

JUST PAY THE TEN FUCKING POUNDS FOR YOUR SHARE OF THE FOOD FFS

RampantIvy · 04/10/2025 22:32

I agree @YelramBob
Whenever I eat out in a group we each pay for ourselves. It isn't difficult.

Many mumsnetters seem to think it is shameful to not be able to say they can't afford something - meals out, hen dos, weddings etc.. I just don't get it.

StewkeyBlue · 05/10/2025 06:36

RampantIvy · 04/10/2025 11:25

I posted this on another thread, then thought of this one, so I will post it again here:

I feel that the internet encourages people to avoid personal interaction. Back in the day we all had to interact with people in person or on the phone, and we built up resilience to do this because there was no other choice.

I realise that there will always be people who will find this impossible, but for someone like me who was frightened to say boo to a goose when I left school in 1977, learning to deal with the public on the phone and in person eventually gave me more confidence to speak to people and enjoy their company.

Nowadays people think "I don't have to anwer the phone/see people I'll just hide behind a screen instead". People don't know how to get out of their comfort zone because they have choices.

All compounded by remote working / wfh

Pricelessadvice · 07/10/2025 13:05

I actually don’t know if I can carry on contributing to this forum anymore. It’s full of drama queens, people with ‘trauma’ (or basically normal life stuff that lots of people deal with) and people who need constant reassurance before they make decisions.

Woman putting children at risk because they won’t leave their abusive, drunken partners… people staying with men when they cheat on them… people with a paper cut who ask if they need to go to A+E (or at least not far off)… the list goes on.

FishwivesSalute · 07/10/2025 13:17

Mn has a disproportionate number of wet lettuces, just as it has a disproportionate number of misanthropes.