Page 9 | Hybrid is now 4 days no flexibility

shuggles · 02/10/2025 19:58

@Catsandcheese So a lot of us have worked from home for 5 and a half years now. It’s not a minor change to be told to get back in the office.

A lot of people can't work at home because their job involves actually making something. The goods and products that you use everyday don't just magically appear in shops and warehouses. People manufacture them.

User5306921 · 02/10/2025 20:14

A four hour round trip is crazy if any more than one day a week.

Look for another role asap!

Delphiniumandlupins · 02/10/2025 20:57

If you set off when your DD leaves for school you would be in by 9. Then if you leave at 4, she would only be home for an hour on her own each day. It's still an awful lot of commuting for you and you may want to look for a nearer job, or fewer days in the office.

Wexone · 02/10/2025 21:14

shuggles · 02/10/2025 19:58

@Catsandcheese So a lot of us have worked from home for 5 and a half years now. It’s not a minor change to be told to get back in the office.

A lot of people can't work at home because their job involves actually making something. The goods and products that you use everyday don't just magically appear in shops and warehouses. People manufacture them.

We can't change what happened in previous jobs you have had and I am sorry that happened to you
but dont come across bitter and jelouse because some jobs allow work from home. that is beyond your control
this person has been working in their current situation for a few years and have the right to feel agreived with what they are trying to bring in

shuggles · 02/10/2025 21:39

@Wexone but dont come across bitter and jelouse because some jobs allow work from home. that is beyond your control

It's neither bitter nor jealous. All I am doing is telling people to grow up and be thankful because they are in incredibly privileged positions.

These are the types of people who get angry about someone taking the last slice of pizza.

Wexone · 02/10/2025 21:52

shuggles · 02/10/2025 21:39

@Wexone but dont come across bitter and jelouse because some jobs allow work from home. that is beyond your control

It's neither bitter nor jealous. All I am doing is telling people to grow up and be thankful because they are in incredibly privileged positions.

These are the types of people who get angry about someone taking the last slice of pizza.

its not incredibly privileged. the op has done their work well the past numerous of years. their employer has got the best out of them thanks to them allowing the flexibility to do it. if its being done well so far why change it why risk loosing a good employee ? people don't give 2 f if they take away pizza day but they they care when something up hends their routine the past numerous years and has an impact on their life.

TooManyFools · 02/10/2025 22:47

If this happened to me, I’d leave. Also diagnosis is just the start, you may need to be around more. Can you find work with shorter commute?

Chinsupmeloves · 02/10/2025 23:14

WhitstablePearl · 01/10/2025 08:53

From an employers point of view, here are some of the reasons I want people in the office, not working from home:

Accidental learning - being around collegues means everyone picks up things from each other
More junior employees can learn from more experienced. They pick up so much from just being around other, hearing them on the phone, seeing how they handle situaitons
Those in the office have to pick up additional work that those at home can't do. This varies between roles, but includes dealing with "walk-in" clients, dealing with collegues/managers general queries, dealign with physical documents equipment
I know everyone says they are more efficient at home, but often that is because they aren't dealing with 1-3, which is part of the job
Also, some employees do slack of at home and some combine childcare/petcare etc. Your employer is not paying you to do this
I want to see how they perform generally, not just churning the work out. I want to see if they are promotable - and that is soft skills, attitude etc

This is so true.

Original poster

Abby23 · 03/10/2025 00:26

Thanks for all your comments. I am a single mum.,, not by choice I might add. I have to work. Always have. I’m lucky to have a great profession I worked so hard to get ..but unfortunate that my personal life is shite. Also unfortunate that my dc and I are going through this diagnosis… I have some thinking to do. Very fed up.

OP posts:

Mildbutmagic · 03/10/2025 07:52

Newbutoldfather · 01/10/2025 11:18

I think you are being very self indulgent here.

You have to realise that you have a lot of choices that others don’t and a lot to be grateful for.

You can suck it up.

You can move house closer to work. You may need to downsize a bit and your child change schools, but lots of people do it all the time.

You can look for another job with more flexibility, but maybe less pay and fewer benefits.

What you want is the best of all worlds and you have to accept that won’t happen. I do understand that we all get used to the status quo and anything that makes it worse is annoying or depressing. But, as a highly successful and well remunerated person, you also need resilience and flexibility.

How is this self indulgent? The OP is a single parent trying to provide both financial stability for her child and also be present and supportive for her child who more than likely has a disability - sounds to me like she’s working herself to the bone to provide for her CHILD. There is absolutely nothing self indulgent about that.
Sadly as a single parent you get trapped in the void of needing to somehow be both things - and it’s not easy. To do it successfully and give your child the same opportunities as being in a two parent family, it absolutely does require thinking outside of the box and pushing on boundaries to level the playing field. This lady is already multiple steps behind the start line of opportunity being a single parent, female and having a child with a disability - and having to work much harder to have the same opportunities. If she’s qualified and has a good job that’s down to her own hard work and her asset to get her through this. What she needs is support, not comments like that.

if you have a look on rightmove at property near Canary Wharf and then have a look at the commute
times. Moving closer to Canary Wharf is highly likely to be more expensive, not cheaper, and will likely still equate to a long commute because of transport links. If you work in certain industries the reality is that’s where a lot of the jobs are.

You are coming across as jealous of this ladies abilities - and I think you should apologise to OP and champion her instead. This lady is travelling 4 hours a day, holding down a big job, parenting a child that likely has a disability and doing that all on her own - it sounds like she’s displaying an abundance of flexibility and resilience to me!

well done OP!

my advice to you - I’m sorry this situation is really challenging for you. I think as a single parent it can often feel like you’re boxed in and there’s just less choice because you’re trying to balance so many things. I think follow through on flexible working request and at the same time start having a look around for other jobs. If you’ve been at your company a long time I’m thinking you might have a helpful network of people you’ve worked with in the past that have moved on you could also talk to. Then see where that all leads and what choices you have on the table.
to answer your question you are not unreasonable - your feelings are your feelings and they’re valid.

it astounds me that I’m not reading this more but I think someone needs to tell you how well you are doing here - look after yourself and wishing you the best of luck.

Holldstock1 · 03/10/2025 08:14

OP I do sympathise. My husband has either worked hybrid like you or worked from home with some travel to clients.

And the worst one was when he worked for a company in London which was supposed to be 3 days in London & 2 days at home. With travel to and from train station, travel there and back on train & tube he was looking at 3.5-4 hours travel every day he went in. As he got promoted he also ended up working later & working more when he got home.

Also because he wasnt there full time he couldnt get a season ticket & travel was very expensive.

It was really exhausting for him & left little time for family. He did it for about 6 years then found something else where he was working from home 5 days with some client travel. It was much better, he stopped being exhausted all the time, less stressed, and had time with the family. Plus he didnt have the travel costs.

So I would seriously advise you to change jobs.

Lastly, did you say something re salary? My husband tends to be very loyal and stay with companies he goes to for years at a time. The company he moved to from the London job he was there for quite a few years. Over time people get frustrated with companies and their companies can get lax with salary increments & rewards, training and taking the employee for granted. This happened with my husband, and when he finally got fed up enough to look elsewhere, he ended up getting a job with a very significant increased salary, training etc etc. When he other company heard he wanted to leave they panicked and offered an increase ofa quarter of what they had being paying. They knew they had underpayed him for years. He didnt take them up on it as he was fed up & went to the new firm.

So I would suggest it could be in your interests to look elsewhere from a salary point of view also. But the commute thing - definitely would be the nail in the coffin.

ForGentleStork · 03/10/2025 08:22

I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this yet but you do have additional rights if your child is diagnosed with Adhd/autism (which counts as a disability under the Equality Act a a long term condition that affects your day to day life): https://workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/flexible-working-for-parents-and-carers-of-disabled-children/ Make sure you mention this in your application (you can make 2 a year) as they have to consider the flexible working request as a reasonable adjustment under the Equality Act and not just an employee’s preference. I hope this is helpful as you should not be forced out of the workplace because of this new rule. Protection from discrimination due to associative disability is a day one right - no length of service needed to get this protection.

A woman hugging her disabled daughter whilst both are smiling

Flexible working for parents and carers of disabled children

Information about the right to request flexible working for parents and carers of disabled children.

https://workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/flexible-working-for-parents-and-carers-of-disabled-children

Original poster

Abby23 · 03/10/2025 09:22

@Mildbutmagic THANK YOU!!!.

OP posts:

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 03/10/2025 09:49

ForGentleStork · 03/10/2025 08:22

I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this yet but you do have additional rights if your child is diagnosed with Adhd/autism (which counts as a disability under the Equality Act a a long term condition that affects your day to day life): https://workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/flexible-working-for-parents-and-carers-of-disabled-children/ Make sure you mention this in your application (you can make 2 a year) as they have to consider the flexible working request as a reasonable adjustment under the Equality Act and not just an employee’s preference. I hope this is helpful as you should not be forced out of the workplace because of this new rule. Protection from discrimination due to associative disability is a day one right - no length of service needed to get this protection.

Several of us have, yes.

anon666 · 03/10/2025 10:30

I feel for you because I'm in a similar boat. Nowhere near as bad, but I work mostly from home, on short term contracts, and dread getting my next role. I know it will likely be mostly office.

On one hand, I completely get why jobs have had to go back to the office. People are focusing on the "introvert" work which is much easier to get done at home. Some jobs are more "introvert" than others, so its impossible to compare roles. But even these roles can end up siloed and isolated without the cross-pollination of the office. I used to have people queuing up at my office to talk things over. I'm a technical expert and it was so much easier to have a dialogue than written comms ping pinging to and fro. My job can absolutely be done at home, but that's kind of missing the point of it.

But still - I have benefitted hugely from the shift to home working in terms of energy levels, work-life balance and financially. It's particularly hard in your shoes as a single mum. 😔

Donsyb · 03/10/2025 13:04

Abby23 · 01/10/2025 06:40

The US multinational I work for has mandated all UK employees back to the office for at least 4 days a week. It was 3 days before. I’m gutted. I took this job 3 years ago having moved from my previous role that was 2 days hybrid. I’d been there for over 10 years.
My commute is 2 hours into Canary Wharf (ie 4 hours round trip minimum). The cost is another matter but that’s ok. I’m a single parent with a young teenager I have to leave at home at 6am when I leave for work, I’m not back till at least 7 pm. She makes her way to/from school but I feel so guilty. I get home and I’m exhausted. BTW, my teenager is going through an AdHd/autism assessment and does not particularly like school. Her behaviour can best be described as challenging.
Has anyone had to deal with this transition?. If so, did you embrace it?. I have asked my boss if I can apply for an exemption so I continue doing 3 days in the office due to my commute plus family commitments. Still awaiting a response,
I don’t want to sound precious because most people did 5 days in the office before Covid. But, I do feel so deflated and stressed about it as I really love my job. Unfortunately, I’m seriously thinking of looking elsewhere.
I do wonder if some companies do this to reduce staff numbers. We have just concluded a huge restructure..
would be grateful to hear people’ s comments.
thank you

AIBU to feel deflated?

Can you make a flexible working request due to your child’s needs?

LlynTegid · 03/10/2025 13:30

shuggles · 02/10/2025 19:25

@Abby23 I don’t want to sound precious because most people did 5 days in the office before Covid.

It does sound precious. Given the abuse and harm I have suffered in previous jobs, I am in disbelief that there are people who get upset over something as minor as having to work in an office as opposed to working at home.

Depends on your workplace. If it was a toxic one or is, a job may be bearable only because some days are wfh. The better option would be if that is the case to find another job of course.

Ashwapanda · 03/10/2025 17:22

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 01/10/2025 11:24

It’s worth putting a flexible work request in and including that you have some protection as the parent of a disabled child under the Equality Act 2010……..

workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/flexible-working-for-parents-and-carers-of-disabled-children/

Totally agree with this, you might be able to claim (or at least threaten to claim) associative disability discrimination as the carer for a disabled person (if you think your DD is). Good luck!

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 04/10/2025 09:12

Wexone · 02/10/2025 21:52

its not incredibly privileged. the op has done their work well the past numerous of years. their employer has got the best out of them thanks to them allowing the flexibility to do it. if its being done well so far why change it why risk loosing a good employee ? people don't give 2 f if they take away pizza day but they they care when something up hends their routine the past numerous years and has an impact on their life.

Show quote history

But it is incredibly privileged. I could be the best employee in the world and still not work from home because I work in McDonald’s. There are some jobs where it’s impossible to work from home.

Wexone · 04/10/2025 09:23

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 04/10/2025 09:12

But it is incredibly privileged. I could be the best employee in the world and still not work from home because I work in McDonald’s. There are some jobs where it’s impossible to work from home.

Show quote history

yes somes jobs are not avaliable to work from home. and it's not a privilege if someone jobs allow it. it's a way of working for that job!
there are jobs require you to be on the road all the time be it visiting clients or delivering goods
jobs require you to work on a factory floor and don't allow you to wear make up have nail varnish you have to be garbed up etc
jobs require you to sit on a checkout stack shelves etc
jobs that allow you to work from home
it's a way of working and has been done since 2020 ( with a good bit before that too)
McDonald's set up it's to serve physical food to people if you are in that role then you can't work from home
however if you work for McDonald's head office and are sitting in front of a laptop doing orders on their ERP system meetings via teams answering emails then that role can allow you to work from home.
it's not who you work for it's what you do that dictates if can be done at home.
The Op role allows them to work from and has done successfully for a good few number of years.
wfh has become a way of working for many roles. change the mindset

Shotokan101 · 14/10/2025 22:08

Abby23 · 01/10/2025 06:40

The US multinational I work for has mandated all UK employees back to the office for at least 4 days a week. It was 3 days before. I’m gutted. I took this job 3 years ago having moved from my previous role that was 2 days hybrid. I’d been there for over 10 years.
My commute is 2 hours into Canary Wharf (ie 4 hours round trip minimum). The cost is another matter but that’s ok. I’m a single parent with a young teenager I have to leave at home at 6am when I leave for work, I’m not back till at least 7 pm. She makes her way to/from school but I feel so guilty. I get home and I’m exhausted. BTW, my teenager is going through an AdHd/autism assessment and does not particularly like school. Her behaviour can best be described as challenging.
Has anyone had to deal with this transition?. If so, did you embrace it?. I have asked my boss if I can apply for an exemption so I continue doing 3 days in the office due to my commute plus family commitments. Still awaiting a response,
I don’t want to sound precious because most people did 5 days in the office before Covid. But, I do feel so deflated and stressed about it as I really love my job. Unfortunately, I’m seriously thinking of looking elsewhere.
I do wonder if some companies do this to reduce staff numbers. We have just concluded a huge restructure..
would be grateful to hear people’ s comments.
thank you

AIBU to feel deflated?

YANBU, ""IF" and only if, your contract of employment, states the 3 day figure "and" nothing else in the contract allows the employer to change it after giving sufficent notice of the change.

If you are a Union member then discuss it with them....