Hybrid is now 4 days no flexibility

[Abby23]

The US multinational I work for has mandated all UK employees back to the office for at least 4 days a week. It was 3 days before. I’m gutted. I took this job 3 years ago having moved from my previous role that was 2 days hybrid. I’d been there for over 10 years.
My commute is 2 hours into Canary Wharf (ie 4 hours round trip minimum). The cost is another matter but that’s ok. I’m a single parent with a young teenager I have to leave at home at 6am when I leave for work, I’m not back till at least 7 pm. She makes her way to/from school but I feel so guilty. I get home and I’m exhausted. BTW, my teenager is going through an AdHd/autism assessment and does not particularly like school. Her behaviour can best be described as challenging.
Has anyone had to deal with this transition?. If so, did you embrace it?. I have asked my boss if I can apply for an exemption so I continue doing 3 days in the office due to my commute plus family commitments. Still awaiting a response,
I don’t want to sound precious because most people did 5 days in the office before Covid. But, I do feel so deflated and stressed about it as I really love my job. Unfortunately, I’m seriously thinking of looking elsewhere.
I do wonder if some companies do this to reduce staff numbers. We have just concluded a huge restructure..
would be grateful to hear people’ s comments.
thank you

AIBU to feel deflated?

If you love your job, move house.
Your daughter will appreciate more of your time.

I'm sorry this is happening but I don't think you'll get any sort of flex because of your commute - people choose where to live and where to work and this is up to you. You can move one or the other if it doesn't work. If your teenager isn't happy in school and you don't have any local help then could you move?

My only query is about them 'promising' you something in interview. Is it part of your contract? We don't promise anything about hybrid working in interview and it's non contractual. But if you have something in writing you might have a case.

@SummerInSun yes I work in finance. Reasonably senior professional and well paid with excellent benefits which I will struggle to find else where.

if I was not a mom, I would get on with it without mention. But I do feel I’m being a horrible parent considering my child’s potential issues.

money is not everything I know but I have bills to pay and a lifestyle to maintain.

i am truly fed up. I feel like I’m slowly drifting into depression. I need help!

My husband went for a job interview a few years ago. He was told he'd be able to work fully remotely from home, and attend his base site office in Wiltshire once a month (for context we live in Dorset). He was unsure about the job, and as it happened he didn't get the role. It was about a year or so later, the company mandated all employees had to work 5 days per week in the office! He was very glad, he didn't get the role, as the journey would have been horrendous. My point is, all companies can turn around and increase the number of days in the office. It's the danger of taking a role, where your base site is a long distance from where you live. You've put in a request to stay going into the office 3 days per week, rather than the required 4. All you can do is see what they say. I'd highly recommend finding a new job. The reasons behind the new mandate are irrelevant really, it's been asked, and that's it.

Could you reduce hours to 4 days. Or even fewer days and job share? At least you would have the security and benefits and some of salary. I would be reluctant to give that up but it's so difficult balancing both.. and that is a serious commute and you are far from your dc. It's hard.

I suppose this comes down to if you look at the cost of commuting does your job still pay enough for you and your daughter to maintain whatever lifestyle you have/ want? Are jobs tough to find in your sector or alternatively could you move?

Put in a request for flexible working and if that’s denied look elsewhere. Two hours each way is far too much, I said no to that commute doing 3 days with my current company.

My workplace allows 2 days in the office. I could handle 3 but if they upped it to 4, there is no way I’d stay. Plenty of other businesses still offer the original 1/2 days in the office policy.

I think you are being very self indulgent here.

You have to realise that you have a lot of choices that others don’t and a lot to be grateful for.

You can suck it up.

You can move house closer to work. You may need to downsize a bit and your child change schools, but lots of people do it all the time.

You can look for another job with more flexibility, but maybe less pay and fewer benefits.

What you want is the best of all worlds and you have to accept that won’t happen. I do understand that we all get used to the status quo and anything that makes it worse is annoying or depressing. But, as a highly successful and well remunerated person, you also need resilience and flexibility.

You need to stress that you are a carer for a disabled child in your application for flexible working.

An employer can't just turn around and mandate/make changes if the working pattern or location is contractual. They would have to go through a consultation process first.

@Abby23 have you put in a formal flexible working request? If not then do so as it can only be turned down for one of the eight formal reasons. If you've done that already then good luck with the outcome.

Relocate

This has exactly happened in my friends company, the are so stuck for staff now they are using agency staff, but the agency staff are allowed to WHF more than the staff employed directly. Its the only way they can get staff. Agency staff are being offered contracts direct with the company then but they are rejecting it due to the Hybrid/WFH policy. Management are not listening
@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld my commute is now a 4 hour round trip commute, but it wasn't when i started 6 years ago, you could do it in an hour each way. The traffic has doubled now on the roads i use, the parts where i knew traffic was going to start building up has now moved further down, the short cuts i used now have lots of housing estates built along them, the industrial estate i work in has also expanded so more people going into it . They have also put in cycle routes, added more bus lanes therefore reducing the width of the roads for cars and some places we had two lanes is now one lane. Plus there is no good time anymore to travel, it takes 2 hours regardless if you leave at 6am or 8am . There no quiet time

It’s worth putting a flexible work request in and including that you have some protection as the parent of a disabled child under the Equality Act 2010……..

workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/flexible-working-for-parents-and-carers-of-disabled-children/

I've seen this a lot lately (similar industry but as consultant). It's gone from 1-2days onsite to 3-4 with no discussion or conversation. Just orders.

I have an AuDHD teen daughter, OP. I get the challenges.

I’ll refrain from guessing the age and gender of the CEO 🫠

So true.

American male late 40’s lives in Caribbean - was you close?

What does your contract say?

I work for a US company who have also mandates return to office policies round most of the world where they can, following the number of people who quietly moved further away or stayed WFH post COVID.

My contract is home based full time, following a flexible working request a decade ago. I am still home based. No one has made any attempt to get me back to the office. They would have to change my contract to make it happen, and prove my job has changed. Oddly, I am in a position where the office has moved, and is now much closer to home, so I could go back in, but my role is global so makes no odds where I am physically sitting.

Don't be deflated- just do what you can about it- ie put in a formal flexible working request, and then do something about the things you can control- contact your previous employer to see if they have any opportunities, look for a job closer to home or with more flexibility that will enable you to be there for your daughter. Yes it's gutting having only moved jobs a few years ago, but life's not a straight road- things change and don't always pan out the way we expect and we need to change with them...

Not unreasonable. I never understand employers making workers attend the office if the job can be done from home. Can you do an official request for flexible working under the grounds of having a dependant child?

I did 4 days in with 2 hour commute each way. I lasted 3 months and I left. I was burned out, to the point that on my WFH day I couldn’t function. But I have primary aged children, so this maybe was an extra strain. But personally I wouldn’t do it unless the money is insanely good

Yes worked for a Global company for 19 years the last 6 worked from home with no time off sick and great performance appraisal during the last 6 years but then mandated everyone back to office my commute would have been minimum 7 hr round trip at best. I resigned and is now taking early retirement.

1. submit flexible working request. Legally they have to justify why it isn’t possible of you have carers needs (which it sounds like you do given your child’s potential diagnoses and challenging behaviour)
2. look for another role alongside and aim to move
3. if option 1 is denied could you engineer redundancy and continue with option 2?