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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hybrid is now 4 days no flexibility

221 replies

Abby23 · 01/10/2025 06:40

The US multinational I work for has mandated all UK employees back to the office for at least 4 days a week. It was 3 days before. I’m gutted. I took this job 3 years ago having moved from my previous role that was 2 days hybrid. I’d been there for over 10 years.
My commute is 2 hours into Canary Wharf (ie 4 hours round trip minimum). The cost is another matter but that’s ok. I’m a single parent with a young teenager I have to leave at home at 6am when I leave for work, I’m not back till at least 7 pm. She makes her way to/from school but I feel so guilty. I get home and I’m exhausted. BTW, my teenager is going through an AdHd/autism assessment and does not particularly like school. Her behaviour can best be described as challenging.
Has anyone had to deal with this transition?. If so, did you embrace it?. I have asked my boss if I can apply for an exemption so I continue doing 3 days in the office due to my commute plus family commitments. Still awaiting a response,
I don’t want to sound precious because most people did 5 days in the office before Covid. But, I do feel so deflated and stressed about it as I really love my job. Unfortunately, I’m seriously thinking of looking elsewhere.
I do wonder if some companies do this to reduce staff numbers. We have just concluded a huge restructure..
would be grateful to hear people’ s comments.
thank you

AIBU to feel deflated?

OP posts:
Original poster
Abby23 · 01/10/2025 08:19

@JennyWrenSeven no father on scene plus no local family.

OP posts:
Original poster
Abby23 · 01/10/2025 08:25

Just to clarify, 3 days commuting 4 hours a day was doable. 4 days is a bit too much for me.

I dont need pity as I do earn a great salary. It’s just that it’s now getting a bit much.

at interview, they promised me 3 days max….

OP posts:
SunnyViper · 01/10/2025 08:25

I’d be changing job. Some American companies try and bring the American work culture here and it is very different.

Pleasealexa · 01/10/2025 08:27

Sounds rough but the commute is the issue, rather than 4 days in the office. What are your hours as an hour commute would be more reasonable.

Until you get a balance consider using the commute for relaxation or admin. Weekends will have to be housework and batch cooking.

warmapplepies · 01/10/2025 08:29

Would it not be more feasible to move, at least in the long-term?

Woompund · 01/10/2025 08:33

Find another job. It's too much time alone for your teen.

Woompund · 01/10/2025 08:35

Pleasealexa · 01/10/2025 08:27

Sounds rough but the commute is the issue, rather than 4 days in the office. What are your hours as an hour commute would be more reasonable.

Until you get a balance consider using the commute for relaxation or admin. Weekends will have to be housework and batch cooking.

She's got a young AUDHD teen at home. Parenting is more than being out 12 hours a day and doing housework and batch cooking at weekends. This is incompatible with the role of parent.

Hiptothisjive · 01/10/2025 08:44

Abby23 · 01/10/2025 08:19

@JennyWrenSeven no father on scene plus no local family.

Then OP have you considered moving closer? Less commuting time and saved costs.

HoskinsChoice · 01/10/2025 08:44

Readyforslippers · 01/10/2025 06:45

Some companies are so short sighted, I think you'll just have to look for something else really.

In what way is this short sighted? They have tried to work with 3 days and are now moving to 4. There must be a reason for this, they're not doing it for a laugh. They won't be doing this on some sort of whim, they'll have sat down to look at it and have obviously decided it suits the business better. That's their prerogative.

WhitstablePearl · 01/10/2025 08:53

From an employers point of view, here are some of the reasons I want people in the office, not working from home:

  1. Accidental learning - being around collegues means everyone picks up things from each other
  2. More junior employees can learn from more experienced. They pick up so much from just being around other, hearing them on the phone, seeing how they handle situaitons
  3. Those in the office have to pick up additional work that those at home can't do. This varies between roles, but includes dealing with "walk-in" clients, dealing with collegues/managers general queries, dealign with physical documents equipment
  4. I know everyone says they are more efficient at home, but often that is because they aren't dealing with 1-3, which is part of the job
  5. Also, some employees do slack of at home and some combine childcare/petcare etc. Your employer is not paying you to do this
  6. I want to see how they perform generally, not just churning the work out. I want to see if they are promotable - and that is soft skills, attitude etc
Namechange4466543 · 01/10/2025 09:00

I have worked for two global American banking companies since covid. I left them both as they started mandating return to office. In both cases I raised flex working requests and in both cases they were declined. I now work for a company with less cv prestige but so much more flex and full time wfh.

DeafLeppard · 01/10/2025 09:54

WhitstablePearl · 01/10/2025 08:53

From an employers point of view, here are some of the reasons I want people in the office, not working from home:

  1. Accidental learning - being around collegues means everyone picks up things from each other
  2. More junior employees can learn from more experienced. They pick up so much from just being around other, hearing them on the phone, seeing how they handle situaitons
  3. Those in the office have to pick up additional work that those at home can't do. This varies between roles, but includes dealing with "walk-in" clients, dealing with collegues/managers general queries, dealign with physical documents equipment
  4. I know everyone says they are more efficient at home, but often that is because they aren't dealing with 1-3, which is part of the job
  5. Also, some employees do slack of at home and some combine childcare/petcare etc. Your employer is not paying you to do this
  6. I want to see how they perform generally, not just churning the work out. I want to see if they are promotable - and that is soft skills, attitude etc

I agree with this, time that used to be spent on the business is now spent putting washing on/ emptying the dishwasher etc.

There’s a reason pay in Canary Wharf is so high - they want their pound of flesh.

SummerInSun · 01/10/2025 10:04

I’d be very reluctant to give up a job you love because of this policy, because there is no guarantee that it you move to another company that says you only need to come in three days that it will stay that way. If you work at Canary Wharf I’m guessing you work in finance, law, accounting or something else professional services-y. I think management right across those sorts of industries feels that letting people WFH so much post covid was a huge mistake and they are all starting to unwind those policies.

SummerInSun · 01/10/2025 10:10

WhitstablePearl · 01/10/2025 08:53

From an employers point of view, here are some of the reasons I want people in the office, not working from home:

  1. Accidental learning - being around collegues means everyone picks up things from each other
  2. More junior employees can learn from more experienced. They pick up so much from just being around other, hearing them on the phone, seeing how they handle situaitons
  3. Those in the office have to pick up additional work that those at home can't do. This varies between roles, but includes dealing with "walk-in" clients, dealing with collegues/managers general queries, dealign with physical documents equipment
  4. I know everyone says they are more efficient at home, but often that is because they aren't dealing with 1-3, which is part of the job
  5. Also, some employees do slack of at home and some combine childcare/petcare etc. Your employer is not paying you to do this
  6. I want to see how they perform generally, not just churning the work out. I want to see if they are promotable - and that is soft skills, attitude etc

This is exactly right. I’m quite senior and always think I’m so efficient at home - and in the sense of churning through the documents, that’s true. But it’s in large part because I’m not being interrupted by junior colleagues with substantive questions or admin colleagues with admin type questions. But answering those questions and making those decisions and being available to those colleagues for that “non-core” but still important work is also part of my job.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 01/10/2025 10:11

You need a new job unfortunately....

TwistedWonder · 01/10/2025 10:13

JustMyView13 · 01/10/2025 07:37

Yes for now it’s 4 days.
But it was 3.
It won’t be long before 4 becomes 5.

Show quote history

Yep that’s what happened in my company. From 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 within about 8 months.

Thankfully I have a hybrid contract but there’s been a mass exodus since the 5 day office mandate introduced and we are finding it impossible to recruit.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 01/10/2025 10:22

@Abby23 sorry but why would anyone even consider taking a job which involved a 4 hour round trip in the first place?? I personally do not think anyone should still be working from home! I know I will get shot down for this!

JustMyView13 · 01/10/2025 10:33

TwistedWonder · 01/10/2025 10:13

Yep that’s what happened in my company. From 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 within about 8 months.

Thankfully I have a hybrid contract but there’s been a mass exodus since the 5 day office mandate introduced and we are finding it impossible to recruit.

Show quote history

And I bet the company is so confused as to why!?
These policies disproportionately have a negative impact on parents - usually women.

Hellohelga · 01/10/2025 10:36

All city firms are upping their in office days.

marshmallowmix · 01/10/2025 10:43

This is happening a lot creeping to more and more days....the distance you live from work is more of an issue a 2 hour commute each way so 4 hours a day is a lot.

I'd look for something nearer to home...

TwistedWonder · 01/10/2025 10:44

JustMyView13 · 01/10/2025 10:33

And I bet the company is so confused as to why!?
These policies disproportionately have a negative impact on parents - usually women.

Show quote history

Our head of HR raised with the board what the impact would be but she was brushed off. And she was 100% correct.

We've had several roles advertised for months now and absolutely no one wants to apply once they find out it’s 5 days in office. One senior role has been offered to 3 candidates and they’ve all pulled out when they realise there’s no flexibility but the board won’t budge.
The CEO isn’t in the UK and just refuses to take any constructive feedback onboard

marshmallowmix · 01/10/2025 10:45

I've noticed it is even moving towards 5, which doesn't work for me.

Yesterday I'd 2 calls about jobs and both wanted 5 days in the office.

Lovemycat2023 · 01/10/2025 10:45

I don’t think this is a wfh v office debate, it’s about expectations and the fact they said 3 days at interview really means they should stick to that. I would remind them of that OP.

Lovemycat2023 · 01/10/2025 10:48

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 01/10/2025 10:22

@Abby23 sorry but why would anyone even consider taking a job which involved a 4 hour round trip in the first place?? I personally do not think anyone should still be working from home! I know I will get shot down for this!

It’s not unusual when commuting into London because most people have a drive to the station, and then train, and then tube / bus / walk the other end. It’s not about the distance, more than the transport isn’t joined up. If I was driving the same distance it would have been half the time. I was lucky that my commute in could be shorter than that if the buses and tubes all aligned. I wouldn’t chose to do it now, but then I don’t work in a London-centric industry.

Iamnotalemming · 01/10/2025 10:50

It's sadly becoming normal. I read an interesting post from a recruiter on LinkedIn recently about how they had put together a shortlist of 10 men for a senior role. It involved 5 days a week in the office plus regular international travel. They were criticised by the employer for not having any women on the list, but they explained that they had in the first sift had roughly equal numbers of male and female candidates, and in the shortlist process, ALL of the women had pulled out themselves due to the lack of flexibility in the role. It really resonated with me. I worry that the experience of Covid and then then hard swing back we have seen since is going to impact women in the workplace significantly.