Hybrid is now 4 days no flexibility

[Abby23]

The US multinational I work for has mandated all UK employees back to the office for at least 4 days a week. It was 3 days before. I’m gutted. I took this job 3 years ago having moved from my previous role that was 2 days hybrid. I’d been there for over 10 years.
My commute is 2 hours into Canary Wharf (ie 4 hours round trip minimum). The cost is another matter but that’s ok. I’m a single parent with a young teenager I have to leave at home at 6am when I leave for work, I’m not back till at least 7 pm. She makes her way to/from school but I feel so guilty. I get home and I’m exhausted. BTW, my teenager is going through an AdHd/autism assessment and does not particularly like school. Her behaviour can best be described as challenging.
Has anyone had to deal with this transition?. If so, did you embrace it?. I have asked my boss if I can apply for an exemption so I continue doing 3 days in the office due to my commute plus family commitments. Still awaiting a response,
I don’t want to sound precious because most people did 5 days in the office before Covid. But, I do feel so deflated and stressed about it as I really love my job. Unfortunately, I’m seriously thinking of looking elsewhere.
I do wonder if some companies do this to reduce staff numbers. We have just concluded a huge restructure..
would be grateful to hear people’ s comments.
thank you

AIBU to feel deflated?

That commute must be costly. If you like your job can you move nearer to work? The saved fares going towards new home. Or find a local role. The saved fares mean you can afford a salary cut. Either way you get some time back.

More and more companies are getting staff back to the office. So if it hadn't happened now it would be just round the corner.

I think in the next couple of years there is going to be an upturn in South East property prices as large numbers move back for work.

If you earn well, could you find a trusted babysitter to stay overnight one night a week (who would cook tea and stay till teenager lesves for school the next day), do two of your days back to back, max out on work and cut out 4 hours of commuting? I think that's what I'd do.

I occasionally pay my own students and friends' adult / near adult kids for this kind of thing (I have an AuDHD 12 year old who is an interesting mix of streetwise and impulsive!)

You could pay them to be around more in school holidays.

Try Koru Kids.

I see this becoming more common in the near future as the job market is flatter than it has been in awhile. I also think the increase in Employers Contributions is a factor. It is now more expensive for every employee so senior teams are probably looking to weed people out or question what people are doing with their time. If it does not work then you probably need to look about but probably not going to be as easy as it has been

3 days a week should be sufficient in my opinion, it's an ideal work life balance.

For the employee but not for the employer

As standard, I have read all OP posts but only p1 of all replies.

This, but stress the flex working request is also on the basis of disability caring responsibilities....

My honest response? If 4 days a week works, then 3 days a week will work. Sorry I don't agree with what you're trying to say.

I'd both submit a flexible working request due to your caring responsibilities, and start looking for a new job.

Depends. My previous company increased the days in the office and then started tearing their hair out because overtime went down (meaning chargeable hours went down, output dropped). It was bizarre listening to them pontificate over why it could possibly be that people were finishing at 5:30 and less willing to work until 8pm. Not once did they think that maybe it was the commute being factored in to people’s days, or that actually it’s easy to keep working at home, grab a quick dinner, then back to your desk, but once you’ve travelled home you’re less likely to open your laptop back up.

To be clear, this is a company that budgets for (and needs) large amounts of overtime. Reduced overtime is very bad. This was not a situation where overtime reduced because people were being more productive in the office which reduced the need for overtime.

The employer holds the cards and decides what happens.

Employees willing to go there training mile (no pun intended) will find it easier to secure roles and be promoted.

If you like your job the obvious thing is to move nearer to it rather than move job.
Assuming they won’t accommodate your request.

If you DD doesn’t like her school and you have no family ties you don’t have that much to lose.

I read this as I procrastinated writing my own exemption request 😂 we are on a strict 3 day a week in office - when I started we were 2 days “not at home” (a very different thing when you have a very stakeholder-facing role!). I am not a single parent but health issues make me the only one to do pick ups and drop offs. Commute is 1.5-2 hrs each way which was doable 1-2 days a week as o was often at events or suppliers, but not 3x days. I’ve been granted exemption but have to reapply every 6 months and share more personal health details of my husband than I would like with ALL senior management. Plus I’m not allowed to talk about the exemption as they don’t want people to know it’s “a thing”, yet my team are very aware I’m clearly not in 3 days!

oh and also suspected audhd although in a much younger kid, but makes me feel far more guilty of being an absent parent as the kid needs so much support and help to even get socks on in the morning….

no help im afraid - just solidarity. It’s shite.

I worry that the experience of Covid and then then hard swing back we have seen since is going to impact women in the workplace significantly

So do I, @Iamnotalemming, but some - and unfortunately it sreems to be a growing number - really don't help themselves
It started with expectations that maternity leaves should be extended because "they hadn't been able to do things with the baby during covid", and has moved on to more and more trying to go under the radar while WFH with no childcare arrangements in place, and predictably they'll all insist how very much more productive they are now

FWIW I'm a big supporter of WFH where it can be made to work properly, but the major point is that it has to work for all, and that includes those doing the paying

I can see why you’re disappointed, but I also think you’ve had a really generous arrangement up until now and I can see why your employer is trying to shift the balance.

We’d all love to have a job with excellent pay which also offers WFH/flexible working benefits, but sadly that’s not feasible in many cases - you often have to make choice about which one is more important to you.

In your position I’d probably either move closer to work if that’s at all an option, or if you’re not happy to do that I think I’d resign and take a job which is either more flexible or closer to home, accepting that it may mean lower pay. It’s annoying but just life unfortunately.

I would make a formal request to be considered for 3 days a week in the office rather than 4. Could you do it on the basis that you are a single parent, you would like to reduce your commute one day a week to have another evening with your child and be clear that no performance issues have been raised and you've met targets whilst you've worked form home (assuming that's true). However, I'd be looking for another job pronto. I also have a 1 hour 15 mins commute (to Canary Wharf too) but no way would I do 2 hours each way.

YANBU

See what they say about the 3 days- otherwise might be time to find another job

Also, I see the points people are making about the impact on women but on a wider scale, I’m not convinced that it’s so great for women’s empowerment that a lot more women now work full time - thanks to their employers’ increased flexibility - whilst ALSO continuing to shoulder all of the life admin/childcare responsibilities. Meanwhile men carry on exactly as they always have.

I’m not saying it’s a reason to take away WFH I just am not sure it’s actually that progressive.

Yes, vote with your feet and take your skills and experience elsewhere. Work life balance is really important for everyone, but especially being a single mum.

There's still some banks on the street doing 3 days (Barclays, Citi, DB?) only...but I do fear we are all eventually going to creep up to 4

I would do a formal flexible working request and if that is declined then look elsewhere, even to other industries as you undoubtedly have transferable skills. Or are there any other FS firms nearer to you? Many have regional offices

There's still some banks on the street doing 3 days (Barclays, Citi, DB?) only...but I do fear we are all eventually going to creep up to 4

I would do a formal flexible working request and if that is declined then look elsewhere, even to other industries as you undoubtedly have transferable skills. Or are there any other FS firms nearer to you? Many have regional offices which you can use as your base

I do three days in the office and if it increased I would simply look for a new role.

US companies do seem to be the worst for this.

You are right to feel deflated.

Put in an official flexible working request for 3 days as a carer. My DD has autism & ADHD & needed more support then her peers through out he teenage years. She's 16 now & it still continues in college.

I agree with this 100%. I suspect a minority have ruined things for others but this is a major change and I’m sure they are expecting a flurry of requests. I saw someone on TikTok talk about a very an interesting theory as to why people are being called back into the office and it wasn’t about low productivity - but it was about men.

I was in a similar situation till last year. Single parent of neurodiverse teen who struggles with school and is just about hanging on there. I was working long, wacky hours and finally cracked last autumn trying to do it all. I left my job, taking a substantial pay cut to do a job with more home working and regular 9-5 hours. It was the best decision for us and I have been able to be home more to support my DC.
Only you know what’s best in your situation but I would absolutely be looking for another job.

Definitely apply for flexible working to continue your current pattern.