MIL / shoes in the house

Magicboobies · 2025-09-30T17:00:42+00:00

We were staying at in laws for a few days. All decided to go out on a walk with the kiddies , pram etc. As FIL was locking the front door, a dc realised they forgot something I asked to go back in nipped in to get it without taking my shoes off. I realise after I should have taken my shoes off (all laminate floors and clean enough shoes, not muddy) but I completely didn’t think at the time. When I came out the house , MIl was hyperventilating. I asked what’s up and was told to “leave it” and FIL told MIL something like “don’t worry it’ll be ok” and she calmed down and we all went for a walk. I didn’t connect that to me going back in. Few days later when we were home I remembered MIL hyperventilating and asked DH what happened and he said it was because I went in the house without taking shoes off. I feel terrible. DH tells me to not bother. Should I just leave it or ring her and apologise? apolgosie =yabu Forget it = yanbu

labourthenewrightwingparty · 30/09/2025 18:01

Leave it.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/09/2025 18:02

If she’d take a quick apology and move on then do it. If she’ll be hard work and dramatic about it don’t bother.

Rooit · 30/09/2025 18:03

Op you need some professional support if this has genuinely left you in a tizz, and it happened days ago

warmapplepies · 30/09/2025 18:04

Why are you even thinking about it three days later?

FaceBothered · 30/09/2025 18:08

Eh?

The ship has long since sailed.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/09/2025 18:09

Oh I missed it was days ago, the ship has sailed, move on!

Rooit · 30/09/2025 18:12

warmapplepies · 30/09/2025 18:04

Why are you even thinking about it three days later?

And feeling “terrible” about it.

It indicates that there is likely broader issues here

kiwiblue · 30/09/2025 18:14

MIL must have some sort of anxiety problem? I don't like shoes in my house but wouldn't be bothered if it was briefly, laminate floor and a guest. I definitely wouldn't be hyperventilating. If your DH thinks you should leave it I would just leave it. How does she cope with kids in the house if she's so anxious about her house??

FunMustard · 30/09/2025 18:14

Are you dramatic or is she dramatic?!

Noodlecat · 30/09/2025 18:21

She will get her revenge 😈😈😈

Original poster

Magicboobies · 30/09/2025 18:54

Rooit · 30/09/2025 18:03

Op you need some professional support if this has genuinely left you in a tizz, and it happened days ago

Ok I’ll take that on board 🤣 I think I thought about this a few days later because I didn’t realise at the time it was my actions that had made her my MIL that upset.

OP posts:

Original poster

Magicboobies · 30/09/2025 18:55

Noodlecat · 30/09/2025 18:21

She will get her revenge 😈😈😈

Lol

OP posts:

Coconutter24 · 30/09/2025 19:03

kiwiblue · 30/09/2025 18:14

MIL must have some sort of anxiety problem? I don't like shoes in my house but wouldn't be bothered if it was briefly, laminate floor and a guest. I definitely wouldn't be hyperventilating. If your DH thinks you should leave it I would just leave it. How does she cope with kids in the house if she's so anxious about her house??

She might not be anxious about her house she might be anxious about mucky germy shoes in the house.

Endofyear · 30/09/2025 19:08

Your MIL sounds like a bit of a drama llama! We take shoes off in the hall but I wouldn't be upset by someone walking back in with shoes on to grab something. I wouldn't worry about texting of DH says to let it go!

pizzaHeart · 30/09/2025 19:14

our house is shoes off. Your MIL clearly overreacted but you were wrong in principle, you knew it’s a shoes off house. After that incident you would be less welcomed guest in my house, not banned but a bit less welcomed, to avoid this tension with your MiL I would call and apologize.
I would tell her that as you were so focused on children you were acting without thinking and next time you would take shoes off.
A lot of people on here would tell you not to but they don’t have anxiety about shoes in the house, whereas your MIL clearly has.

Original poster

Magicboobies · 30/09/2025 19:17

kiwiblue · 30/09/2025 18:14

MIL must have some sort of anxiety problem? I don't like shoes in my house but wouldn't be bothered if it was briefly, laminate floor and a guest. I definitely wouldn't be hyperventilating. If your DH thinks you should leave it I would just leave it. How does she cope with kids in the house if she's so anxious about her house??

Yes she is a bit stressed when my 3 energetic kiddies are there tbh 😅 but I think that’s reasonable they can be a whirlwind 😅not sure about anxiety

OP posts:

Original poster

Magicboobies · 30/09/2025 19:17

pizzaHeart · 30/09/2025 19:14

our house is shoes off. Your MIL clearly overreacted but you were wrong in principle, you knew it’s a shoes off house. After that incident you would be less welcomed guest in my house, not banned but a bit less welcomed, to avoid this tension with your MiL I would call and apologize.
I would tell her that as you were so focused on children you were acting without thinking and next time you would take shoes off.
A lot of people on here would tell you not to but they don’t have anxiety about shoes in the house, whereas your MIL clearly has.

Ok thank you for your perspective :)

OP posts:

Rooit · 30/09/2025 19:26

Magicboobies · 30/09/2025 18:54

Ok I’ll take that on board 🤣 I think I thought about this a few days later because I didn’t realise at the time it was my actions that had made her my MIL that upset.

Show quote history

So will you? Because feeling “terrible” and stewing on it days later - indicates a broader issue I suspect

Original poster

Magicboobies · 30/09/2025 19:31

Rooit · 30/09/2025 19:26

So will you? Because feeling “terrible” and stewing on it days later - indicates a broader issue I suspect

Show quote history

Will I what?
when we were home a few days later I remembered my MiL hyperventilating and asked DH what that was all about? Then when I realised I thought I should apologise. And DH thought I should leave it. It wasn’t a few days of stewing.
It seems most people here think I should leave it anyways :)

OP posts:

Rooit · 30/09/2025 19:35

Magicboobies · 30/09/2025 19:31

Will I what?
when we were home a few days later I remembered my MiL hyperventilating and asked DH what that was all about? Then when I realised I thought I should apologise. And DH thought I should leave it. It wasn’t a few days of stewing.
It seems most people here think I should leave it anyways :)

Show quote history

Maybe get some professional support?

because feeling “terrible” days later about your MIL having a weird reaction is not a “normal” response

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/09/2025 19:35

Magicboobies · 30/09/2025 19:17

Ok thank you for your perspective :)

Show quote history

FWIW I agree, too. I am disgusted by shoes in the house, but I would overlook a very quick running in when urgent. A short, but sincere appology should suffice. ie. Sorry Fran, I didn't mean any disrespect and it was thoughtless on my part. ❤️

I have two friends who are fastidious about no shoes. One keeps all shoes outside, regardless of weather, the shoes never cross the door.
The other keeps a basket of slippers for guests to wear if they don't want to be barefoot/just socks in her home.

Rooit · 30/09/2025 19:35

It happened days ago
you asked today

BilbaoBaggage · 30/09/2025 19:35

Sounds like she needs therapy, hyperventilating over something so trivial.

I predict this thread will run to 30 pages with increasing levels of frothing on both sides of the shoes on/off divide. Although maybe by saying this, it will end the cycle early for once.

Rooit · 30/09/2025 19:36

And if you’re honest

your MIL wasn’t actually hyperventilating. That’s hyperbole

Topseyt123 · 30/09/2025 19:36

Just ignore her. She sounds like a drama queen. Your shoes weren't muddy and you just went to grab something for the kids. No harm done. Ignore her twattery and say nothing further.