MIL / shoes in the house

[Magicboobies]

We were staying at in laws for a few days. All decided to go out on a walk with the kiddies , pram etc. As FIL was locking the front door, a dc realised they forgot something I asked to go back in nipped in to get it without taking my shoes off. I realise after I should have taken my shoes off (all laminate floors and clean enough shoes, not muddy) but I completely didn’t think at the time.
When I came out the house , MIl was hyperventilating. I asked what’s up and was told to “leave it” and FIL told MIL something like “don’t worry it’ll be ok” and she calmed down and we all went for a walk. I didn’t connect that to me going back in. Few days later when we were home I remembered MIL hyperventilating and asked DH what happened and he said it was because I went in the house without taking shoes off. I feel terrible. DH tells me to not bother. Should I just leave it or ring her and apologise?
apolgosie =yabu
Forget it = yanbu

Yeah don’t worry about it. Wait until you’ve walked through with shoes covered with a luminous orange, highly toxic dog shit. When she hyperventilates over that, then feel bad and apologise. She needs to get a life.

Her house = her rules. 🙄

lol. I didn’t make this post this for medical advice thanks. You say I’m over reacting thinking about a trivial event a few days later , but it’s important enough for you to comment 5+ times about it and my need for mental health support. You seem to be stewing more than me 🤣

JFC 🙄 That woman sounds insufferable

Everyone is

😅😂

Oh yes I agree

I think your mother in law overreacted tbh. Fair enough if you were dragging mud over carpet but it was relatively clean shoes on laminate floor. Leave it and move on.

op you never said it wasn't her house or her rules. You asked if you should say sorry. Ppl on this thread are weird. I personally wouldn't say anything to them, you asked them there and then what was wrong and instead of telling you they very rudely told you to just leave it.. all you did was ask what was wrong.

I think the people suggesting therapy for either op or rhe mil are dramatic.

Op, if you know you upset her I would apologise and say you will try to remember in the future. Then at least from your side you have done what you can to rectify the situation and stop worrying about it. Hopefully she will just accept your apology and that's the end of it. I'd be tempted to send a message if possible so you aren't pulled into a silly argument about something rather trivial.

By rhe way dramatic or not inadvertently upsetting someone is the kind of thing I would worry and stress about.

Which is ridiculous and unreasonable.

Anyone who actually hyperventilates when someone forgets to take their shoes off when they nip into their house for a few seconds to pick something up, has a real problem.

Clearly you normally do follow her shoes off rules, OP, so she must have known that this was accidental. So to be actually hyperventilating is very strange.

Absolutely

the MIL wasn’t “hyperventilating”. The Op is being dramatic here.

The OP isn’t feeling “terrible”. The OP is being dramatic here. (And if she does feel terrible, then WTAF?)

it is two people (op and mil) that are drama llamas and who feed off each other.

You’re not just “thinking about it” a few days later are you?

you feel terrible about it a few days later!

She sounds dramatic and exhausting, what’s next, the vapours?

What is ridiculous and unreasonable? Mil's possible anxiety? I don't know if Mil suffers from anxiety but if that is what you are talking about you clearly don't understand anxiety. Anxiety is basically fear in the absence of danger. If it was reasonable or proportional to the actual or perceived threat it wouldn't be anxiety.

I got anxious last night when my son was out driving late. He’s a new driver.

Do you regard that as being “absent of danger”

I’d definitely phone and apologise. I’m with your MIL - I can’t abide shoes in the house and it takes a lot of time and effort to keep things nice and clean. By saying nothing and not apologising you’re essentially saying you have no respect for her home or the effort that goes into maintaining it. I’d be absolutely livid and really very upset if someone did that in my home.

She was breathing very rapidly and being told to slow down and take deep breaths. Rapid breathing is the definition of hyperventilating, hence my use of this term 🤷🏻‍♀️
lol I’ve never been called a drama llama before 🤣 lol the mumsnet version of insults.
I believe it is pretty normal to feel guilty if you upset someone without meaning to? 🦙 🦙 🦙

And when you asked at the time “what the heck is going on with poor mil?” What was the response? You didn’t later? “How are you? All ok?”

But you said you felt “terrible”
days later!

was that hyperbole? Or did you really?

I’ve never been called a drama llama before

well you are hardly likely to say that you’re known for drama and hyperbole are you?

Your husband though OP…. Is he the one who thinks there “isn’t much sexism around”

After that incident you would be less welcomed guest in my house, not banned but a bit less welcomed...

Absolutely batshit.

You sound markedly saner and more balanced than a number of the posters on the thread, OP. Not sure how reassuring that is though, given that it's a very low bar!