Changing nappies on airport seats

[KittyCoo]

I don’t have any DCs yet and not planning on ttc for a few years.

I was at a mallorca airport last and the plane was about to board abd a lady changed her around 4/5mth old baby’s dirty nappy on the passenger seats. I told her that was disgusting and people have to sit there to use the bathroom opposite as there was a changing table in there. admittedly there was a big queue but not the point imo.

When I have DCs, I’d never dream of doing that, I’d always use the facilities provided in the vicinity as respect and courteousness to others. I personally believe it’s lazy parenting not to use adequate facilities available!!!

AIBU, that some parents with babies these days think they’re so entitled just like the one I’ve described above ? And AIBU for berating her actions the way I did ?

I have two children and would be really angry to witness this.

Why on earth are people saying it's OK because she's a mum and it's just a baby and this is a parenting site so that means changing your baby's dirty nappy infront of everyone in a public place is perfectly fine.

Make it make sense

@LindorDoubleChoc exactly this!!!! 👏👏

And I just thought of another aspect. She would have had carry on bags... so. Gather it all up. Pick up baby. Put baby into sling/carrier.Make way to toilet. Find change table being used or Find change table filthy and needing to be cleaned.
Panic as you are trying to find a suitable spot on the floor or counter instead. Put bags down. Dig out change mat. Take baby out of carrier. Undress baby. Clean and change baby. Put baby back into sling. Pack everything up awkwardly while wearing baby and try to pick up bags. Retuen to boarding area to find your section has boarded. Atruggle to board with baby and bags. Find no space for your bag at your seat except nappy bag under seat. Struggle whole flight to get items from your carry-on, disrupting others and calling flight attendants.
It's not an unreasonable scenario.

Because she IS JUST A MUM and it IS JUST A BABY.
it’s a nappy for crying out loud.
the vast majority of us are really just trying our best on a day to day basis.
By the sounds of it, it could have already been an incredibly stressful situation. She didn’t need a random stranger who has ZERO clue what kind of day she’s had or what it’s like being a parent calling her out and telling her she’s disgusting. Make that make sense.

im sorry that you were never taught that if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

I think most people agree they would avoid doing it. I have done four long haul flights (2 return trips) and two European short flights with my 13 month old and so far managed to only change nappies in the bathroom/mum & baby facilities.

But as a mum, I also recognize that sometimes babies are really really hard work and you're really stressed and probably got 2 hours of sleep and are just trying to survive and you make less than perfect decisions.

She was probably stressed, saw the queue for the bathroom, heard the boarding call and made a split second decision to change the baby then and there. Again, not ideal or sth I would have done.

But she certainly did not deserve to be publicly berated by a stranger. That's not ok. The OP was rude and mean.

It hadn't been mentioned yet, but it is NOT YOUR JOB, to reinforce perceived politeness and social boundaries.
Do you chastise and berate everyone who neglects to say please or thank you? Doesn't hold the door or lift for you as you approach? Or, were you having a bad day and chose an easy target to let loose? Perhaps you have some deeper issues to explore in therapy? Just some thoughts. It's worth reflecting, don't you think?

I think it's fine if she used a mat. The seat itself isn't going to get contaminated so what's the problem?

But she would have been changing the nappy in front of people if she had gone to the toilet too. There's often not a separate cubicle.

Yes, all the good people should shame all the bad ones.

Hmm generally I’d say YANBU, however if there was a queue for the baby change and the plane was about to board, then presumably time is of the essence here. It would have been unfair to the baby and the passengers sitting nearby to leave the baby in a pooey nappy, so changing it in a very public place is the lesser of two evils here really. However, changing it on the floor would have been a better option for the sake of the people who need to use the seats afterwards, but maybe the mother had mobility issues 🤷‍♀️

@llittledoveblue @Mumtobabyhavoc well I have been brought up to know the difference between right and wrong, and you don’t know my upbringing, so I’d appreciate less of those comments please.

@llittledoveblue i also find it offensive to say that I have zero clue and to say that to a childless person in general is very offensive as they could’ve gone through years of heartbreaking infertility so if be careful saying that in future if I was you.

@Mumtobabyhavoc yes I do get frustrated with randomers quickly sometimes say if someone pushes in the queue in front of me and I’ll argue my point. I haven’t mentioned it til now but I have a history of GAD, OCD and in the process of trying to get an ASD assessment but at my age it’s impossible!!! If I turn out to be neurodivergent, I’ve already accepted it

Im.not a fsn of this either. However I've been to that airport and facilities in departure are terrible.

Having travelled with small children id just let thus go.

Fertility issues have absolutely nothing to do with this. You brought that up.
The facts are, you have zero clue what that woman went through that day or what it is like to be a parent? Your medical history doesn’t entitle you to be down right nasty to someone you don’t know. But now because you’re being called out on it, you don’t like it and now you’re the victim.

Your OP stated you will ttc in a few years. I hope when you have children you are shown grace and patience and total strangers don’t berate you in a public place for giving your baby the basic care they deserve.

I have been in a very vulnerable place with a 4 month old and somebody like you that doesn’t know how to keep their horrid comments to themselves would have absolutely floored me and my self esteem.

kindness and patience cost us nothing OP.

For the next time you use a bus, a plane or a train, maybe carry some hand sanitiser ☺️

take care out there kitty!

She was using a changing pad.

Yes, it is right to publicly shame strangers. All the good people should unite. Maybe create some sort of club?

@llittledoveblue since when am I using my health issues as an excuse here ??? I wish I didn’t have them but I do.

im sorry to hear you had a rough time in the early few months and I hope you’re feeling less vulnerable now. In fact, your horrid comments are making me very upset, maybe show some kindness and compassion for ke!!!

But I did nothing wrong on this situation, it was her and I’m defending my innocence here against your judgemental comments

Ok. First, I'm sorry about your challenges. You likely think in a more linear fashion and find comfort in set rules, yes?
The world works differently.
The scenario you described initially is more complex that a simple act of changing a baby in a location you might not have liked. You did not have the right to berate that woman. Your behaviour was horrible.
You saw something that you didn't like or agree with, but it had zero effect on your life. Your reaction, however, did affect someone because you broke the invisible barrier between all of us to let each other be.

Your act was entitled, rigid and cruel.
You are lucky she didn't challenge you back.
if you had done that to me you would've faced a barrage of expletives and I'd have repirted you for harassment to the airport authotriries. You l

@Mumtobabyhavoc well I would’ve reported you back for harassing me and making threats like that, its not as not as if I was assaulting the poor woman or threatening physical punishments!!!!!! How horrid of you not to be sympathetic towards my issues!!! I hope for your sake never have a child with SEN!!!!

Ok. First, I'm sorry about your challenges. You likely think in a more linear fashion and find comfort in set rules, yes?
The world works differently.
The scenario you described initially is more complex that a simple act of changing a baby in a location you might not have liked. You did not have the right to berate that woman, or speak to her about it at all. Your behaviour was horrible.
You saw something that you didn't like or agree with, but it had zero effect on your life. Your reaction, however, did affect someone because you broke the invisible barrier between all of us to let each other be.

Your act was entitled, rigid and cruel.
You are lucky she didn't challenge you back.
If you had done that to me you would've faced a barrage of expletives and I'd have reported you for harassment to the airport authorities. Honestly.
The fact that you have various challenges does not give you any authority over others. It is up to you to adjust yourself, not impose rules on others.

You are not the victim, but you did victimize that women rightly attending to her baby's immediate needs.

I've seen people change nappies on picnic tables. 🤮

@Mumtobabyhavoc firstly thank you for your softer reply. I appreciate you saying I’m not the victim. Yes I wish I hadn’t said anything and I’m now living with that decision that has seemingly backfired!!!

@KittyCoo This thread is crazy! @Mumtobabyhavoc was being sympathetic to your undiagnosed SEN issues, but you chose not to read or absorb that bit.

I think you were wrong to call this women disgusting, you shamed and humiliated her in public. That to me is the greater of 2 evils....however other people think what you did was right. That's their opinion and I'm glad you got some support here. But this is no longer doing you any good, it's just argument after argument about what is essentially a very small incident.

So you think it’s fine to berate and humiliate the mother of a young baby in public but a few comments on the internet towards you are a step too far 🙄.

Tbh I agree with a PP that had I been there I would have intervened on the poor woman’s behalf.

I was trying to be clear and direct, which in my experience with ND people works. You defending your position has angered some people, but explaining you are ND helps me to see why you felt that way beyond a thought of, Gross! to the next huge step of admonishing someone. You don't have to correct everyone's behaviour. (However much we want to!). 🫶

@DrowningInSyrup how is threatening to report me for harsssment sympathetic ?

Ok, let’s agree to disagree here that we clearly have two very different opinions and that’s fine abd I appreciate you acknowledging that I got support from other PPs. However, I think to resolve this argument, I should bite my lip in future and maybe this woman can go away thinking that a bathroom is a more appropriate place next time so she’s not leaving herself open to trouble again