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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

672 replies

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 17:56

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

OP posts:
MumChp · 29/09/2025 23:53

Just wow...
I would leave if I faced your children at a spa. Adults only zone. I pay a babysitter to have a few hours to go to the spa. So could you!

User28425 · 29/09/2025 23:59

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 19:19

I am going to post one last time because I’ve got the point that the majority of people think I’m wrong and I accept that.

I will go alone and apologise when I go back, I still have my voucher and want to use it.
It’s not a proper spa as I’ve mentioned multiple times now and more of a beauty salon.

I have also said multiple times I don’t let my girls sit with the iPad on loudly so people can hear it but in future I’ll tell them to turn the volume off seeing as how everyone has focused on that more then the actual issue I posted about. No one has ever said anything or even looked over when it’s been on a really low volume and I make sure we aren’t bothering anyone, I’ll try to get my daughters used to headphones at home.

I wasn’t on my knees begging or being overly insistent but I should have just accepted the first no and not asked again.

The reason I wanted my nails done so badly was because they have grown out and are very long, anyone who gets nails done regularly knows how uncomfortable that is.

I don’t let my kids harass other customers at the usual nail bar we go to, they have brief interactions where they usually compliment their nails or the colour they have chosen. If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue.
The technicians usually offer them seats next to me if there is space but they know to move if other customers walk in.

Fair play to you OP for taking all the criticism so well and accepting it. There really aren't many people who can do that.

Flossflower · 29/09/2025 23:59

I think you are being very unreasonable to trail your kids round and leave them watching screens just so you can have your nails done. I am sure you will say they were happy on screens but really at that age screen use should be limited.

KatyaKanani · 30/09/2025 00:01

User28425 · 29/09/2025 23:59

Fair play to you OP for taking all the criticism so well and accepting it. There really aren't many people who can do that.

Show quote history

She hasn't accepted the criticism, though. She still doesn't think what she did was wrong.

NorthernLass2025 · 30/09/2025 00:09

I haven't been to any spa where under 18s are allowed so I would say very bad decision making on your part and for making a scene in front of the kids

SiameseBlueEyes · 30/09/2025 00:12

Your children may be charming to you but other people are considerably less entranced with them. It's the way of the world - you probably wouldn't be entranced by my children either when they were that age. I doubt very much that people getting their nails done in a nail bar are entranced by children being there and even less impressed if they are toting an ipad. I'm not a nail person but I would be annoyed if I had to put up with this at the hairdressers. My mother once bluntly told the hairdresser that getting her hair done was her one break from looking after her husband with Alzheimer's and she didn't want to put up with being interrupted and bothered with other people's children at the hairdressers.

Fliesinmyeyes · 30/09/2025 00:15

Oh FFS!! The majority of the responses on here to the OPs post are ridiculous. Clearly most of the responders haven't read yours.
If I ran a nail bar I would welcome you and your kids. Yes I'd expect them to sit quietly, but I'd make them welcome. If that upsets a few people so be it. I probably wouldn't want their custom anyway. Sadly I don't have a nail barz so I can't offer this, but try not to take these responses too seriously. Mumsnetters can be quite brutal!

Allthatshines1992 · 30/09/2025 00:18

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 17:56

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

Don't worry about this, it's not personal, not everywhere is accomodating of kids. They're a business, people go there to relax. End of the day, a business exists for profit. Will people feel more or less relaxed with other people's children there? Probably less. So they made this blanket rule for all kids, not just yours.

SandyY2K · 30/09/2025 00:27

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 19:37

I went to the “spa” entrance to head to the reception area and said I had an appointment, I said “I hope you don’t mind my girls sitting quietly and waiting do you?”

The nail technician said “sorry but no kids are allowed in here so you will need to change your appointment”

I said that they wouldn’t be any bother and would sit quietly and have waited for me at my other appointments.

She repeated no kids were allowed and to come back another time.

I asked if they could just make an exception once and apologised and said I was sorry for not realising they didn’t allow children but they aren’t toddlers and would be quiet and said I had a special occasion and was really hoping I’d get my nails done for it.

The owner got involved and said I’d been told their policy and needed to accept it and make another appointment and was stood in a way like she was blocking the door as though I was going to push in or something! She had a very sharp tone and was acting like I’d been arguing or aggressive when I was just asking.

But I accept I should have just left it and not kept on asking after being told no. I just think they could have shown a bit more understanding it’s clear from these responses that I was wrong and I’ve said I will apologise.

Show quote history

You refused to accept their first response. That's where you went wrong.

The beauty salon is not a creche.

Your usual place are probably more in need of the business so they put up with it.

I was getting my nails done recently and a woman was in there with her child in a pushchair. I was pretty irritated.

I don't ever recall seeing kids in a beauty salon before.

Namechange4466543 · 30/09/2025 00:28

I have had no problem bringing my child to hair and beauty appts at every salon iv been to except one. I had been booked in for a manicure and thankfully checked whether I could bring my child as they have a 48hr cancellation policy. Anyway the salon said no so that was that. It was a bit inconvenient but its their rules so I need to accept. I still regularly use that salon and just always make sure I've got childcare sorted otherwise I camt go.

ComedyGuns · 30/09/2025 00:34

As PPs have said, a nail bar is totally on a different level to an actual hotel spa!

I think you need to explain this to your poor DDs, who are probably wondering why you were all asked to leave!!!

Cherryicecreamx · 30/09/2025 00:39

A spa setting is completely different to a walk in nail bar. I go to the latter, where even the staff have their kids sit with their iPad's after school and there's been other children and my own son on occasion waiting. It's all very casual.
However if I was treating myself to a spa day, I wouldn't want to children sat around on their devices especially ones with no headphones. Some people save up a lot for these days or rarely go and it's not quite the atmosphere you want. And usually they are really quiet places, relaxing music in the background etc so you are bound to hear them - or the iPads - even if they are well behaved.

Having said that, they sounded pretty hostile from the start and I'm always on the side of people just being polite to one another! They could still ask you to rebook because of the no children policy but in a nicer manner. Even from a business perspective you're likely to come again if you feel you have been treated fairly.

smithsgj · 30/09/2025 00:47

janehopper · 29/09/2025 18:19

You were going to leave them in reception while you went to a treatment room, in a spa? Who would be looking after them, the receptionist? At 5 years old?

The spa IBVU. Can’t believe they employed such a young receptionist

HellsBells67 · 30/09/2025 00:50

No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs

You are deluded if you really believe this.

owlyboo · 30/09/2025 00:52

yes you were

AngryLikeHades · 30/09/2025 00:52

soundsofthevalley · 29/09/2025 18:09

Don’t take kids into spaces where adults expect to relax. The best kids in the world are not what you want to find when you’re paying for a nice treatment for yourself. And they won’t be insured, if anything were to happen.

My thoughts.

Duckduckagogo · 30/09/2025 01:01

What a shame you made such a huge fuss, that must have been upsetting for your daughters. Learn to be told "no" and don't cause unnecessary drama in future.

Icequeen01 · 30/09/2025 01:07

There are very few places that adults can get away from kids and have some peace and relaxation. A spa is one of these spaces. When I go I do not expect to have to put up with someone else’s kids. You are absolutely being unreasonable.

JellyCoffeeBean · 30/09/2025 01:30

StrawberrySquash · 29/09/2025 18:00

I've said unreasonable because, I think you should have checked. You don't know the setup of each place. You can't just expect it to be okay.

Also this bit is definitely unreasonable I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off. Headphones* *or no sound at all in a public place. Nobody wants to hear other people's ipads.

Can’t believe you usually let them have the volume on… what’s wrong with you..???

PeacefulHouse · 30/09/2025 01:50

It’s all separate treatment rooms and I was hoping they could sit in reception which is away from the treatment rooms

The receptionist would be forced to listen to it. It would drive me nuts.

UnderstoodBetsy · 30/09/2025 02:14

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:48

I feel like people are focusing on the wrong things like the iPad volume.

I accept I shouldn’t have brought them to the appointment and I’m taking in points people have made. A pp mentioned insurance which I hadn’t considered.

I was posting about the way I was treated though, I was asking if I am unreasonable to be upset about it?
My daughters were really upset when we left especially from seeing me upset, I feel like it couldn’t have been handled better and they could have spoken to me in a kinder way.

Show quote history

Wow, how utterly entitled and lacking in self-awareness. You weren’t exactly being kind or understanding yourself, you know. When it was explained to you that children weren’t allowed in the spa, the only thing you should have said was, “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t aware of that.” Then you could have rescheduled your appointment. Haranguing the receptionist and “practically begging,” then trying to negotiate with the owner when the rules had already been explained to you is such rude and selfish behaviour.

And FGS don’t let your children use their iPad in public with the sound on at any volume. Give them a book or something other quiet activity. They don’t need to be entertained by iPads. 🙄

Duckduckagogo · 30/09/2025 02:15

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:23

They enjoy going with me, I let them pick out my colours and they enjoy getting involved and sometimes chatting to other customers and staff. If I can see that someone isn’t keen on chatting then I redirect them back to the iPad.

The staff have never said anything about them not being welcome or I wouldn’t take them with me. Normally I’m more flexible but really wanted my nails doing for a special occasion.

Show quote history

Oh well, it's just nails, doesn't matter. Next time you know you can't take your children. In future, always check with businesses aimed at adults as most don't want kids there and it's wrong to try to impose that on them.

Ticktockk · 30/09/2025 03:16

At the point said to the receptionist “they aren’t toddlers”, you were arguing and being difficult.
Id be polite if your daughters came up to me in a nail bar, or had their iPads not on silent, but it would still piss me off.

hotpot444 · 30/09/2025 03:18

If they are sat next to me at a station and someone is getting their nails done right next to them then they might comment that it’s a nice colour or design.

I would tolerate and fake smile this interaction and then be irritated. I would wonder if the kid is going to chat with me again or comment a few minutes later on something else. Not a relaxing time as a paying customer.

CherrieTomaties · 30/09/2025 04:05

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:13

It’s all separate treatment rooms and I was hoping they could sit in reception which is away from the treatment rooms.

I would have made sure the sound was as low as possible so you couldn’t hear it in the rooms of turned it off completely if there was any doubt. I wouldn’t have let them sit with it blaring at full volume.

One of the reasons I don’t use headphones is because then they can’t hear themselves and talk loudly, with the sound down really low they talk quietly.

Show quote history

Is this a complete wind up? 😂

Firstly, you assumed it’s acceptable to bring 2 young children to a spa?! You’re seriously telling us that you, a grown adult, will have absolutely no consideration for an under-18’s policy at a spa, insurance implications and the other clients who go there, without their own children, to RELAX.

Secondly, you would be fine with your children sitting out of your sight, in a completely different area whilst you receive a treatment. Nails aren’t quick either. Why do you think that’s safe or appropriate for your own children as well as the reception staff who would have had to keep an eye on them whilst trying to go their jobs.

Thirdly, you think it’s acceptable for the children to not use headphones with their iPads in a public place? Sorry, a SPA!

Yep. Complete and utter wind up.