School withholding snack as punishment?

[cjs99x]

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme

He didn’t go without food for long though did he?
No doubt when you picked your precious little boy up from school you gave him his snack right away?!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh dear!

you best get used to this treatment of your son because I doubt it will be the last time he’s disciplined at school, you need to start supporting the school not fighting against them!!!

Eh, it’s a snack, not a meal. So many snacks imo are overrated!

He pushed someone back im assuming the person who pushed him was punished too?

Also a five year old may well see this as a withholding food as a punishment situation because they are fucking five

Apologies. In that case YANBU. If his snack was in the classroom where your ds was, there was no justification in not allowing him to have his snack. It still may not have been a deliberate part of thr punishment though.

Well if lunch was at 12 and they aren’t getting home till 3:30/4pm then their dinner might not be til 5pm so yes they do need a snack which could be at 2:30pm at school and it was fully provided by the parent so who are they to say he shouldn’t eat it. Schools try and have too much control over children they didn’t birth

I’m just surprised they have 2 snacks at school. Isn’t lunch at 12.30-1 and school finishes at 3? Most schools I know have some fruit etc mid morning, but never afternoon snack. I don’t see that it’s a big deal, he was kept in as punishment and normal procedure is they eat outside and he didn’t as he didn’t go out. Sure he could have lasted until he came out of school given i’m sure he ate lunch.

As a TA I’m more bemused as to how on earth your school finds time to have a snack in the middle of a very short afternoon. No child needs a snack an hour or so after lunch.

I am with you, OP. We don’t let children go hungry as a punishment unless we are mean people with issues of our own. They are growing for heaven’s sake. Also what kind of oddity thinks children learn better when hungry? I would have a word.

As others have said, it was not the snack that was withheld as such, it was the break which included the snack. He will live. I can't imagine how long he'd last in my home where, in an attempt to play hard ball with me and get me to make another meal, my DD of a similar age went to bed hungry rather than eat what I had cooked. She survived, but learned a valuable lesson.

You can give your child a snack when you pick them up at 3:15pm if you choose but I can assure you that unless your child has a serious health condition they will survive from 12-5pm, and even longer than that, without a snack and suffer no health problems as a result.

You are responsible for providing your child with an education and if you choose to have that education provided by a state funded school then you agree to their terms and conditions.

Sure he looks forward to it, but he’s had his lunch. That’s plenty enough to last til home time.

You emphasised about how hungry he was as though he was wasting away, he was fine. He has exactly what other school kids get during a day.

Is your child in reception or year one? If in reception he’s still in EYFS, and the EYFS statutory framework was updated for this September to include the requirement that all EYFS children must be supervised when eating, and the person undertaking the supervision must be Paediatric First Aid trained. I would argue that eating outdoors isn’t ideal in the light of this change, but if the person with the first aid qualification was outside with the other children, they may not have been able to allow him to eat at that time as there was nobody appropriate to supervise. Good practice recommendations suggest things like the children sitting in a horseshoe shape, facing the supervising member of staff. However, if he’s in year one, the EYFS framework no longer applies, but it could be that his school are being super-cautious this early in the year, and maintaining the supervision for children who have only recently moved up from EYFS. Yes, of course they could potentially have given him his snack when the other children had come indoors from the playground, but schools are busy places and the first aider may have had to make a judgement on treating a fall/grazed knee/banged head etc. or supervising a child whilst eating; maybe the children went straight into assembly/PE/other activity outside their usual classroom, and the stars didn’t align to make this possible before the end of the day.

My DD’s primary school only ever had afternoon snacks when they were in reception, and that was free fruit in the afternoon. She’s in year six now, so for her year group they only had that until Easter thanks to the Covid lockdown. I don’t think she has ever said that she’s hungry in the afternoon; the morning snack and lunch are more than enough to keep her going until the end of the day.

I think an afternoon snack is OTT in Year 1. Even reception children don’t need an afternoon snack.

It’s hardly starvation or deprivation is it? It’s a consequence for not following rules - he shouldn’t have been fighting. Missing this playtime and therefore his snack might make him consider his choices in future. I couldn’t get my knickers in a twist about this.

I wouldn’t want my child in a class with a 5yo who fights.
If one of my children had been fighting the very last thing I would have cared about is if they had had a snack. You have your priorities very very wrong.

Quite perplexed at these comments to be honest.

A 5 year old boy we are talking about here, he is still a baby!

I would be really angry and would be speaking to the school. Yes, he should’ve been punished for fighting, however that could’ve been no outside play and eating his snack on his own in the class room!

He’s 5.

Yes I’m sure the parents are terrified at leaving their child in the same classroom as my child. I mean he’s a violent criminal after he pushed a boy back when he was pushed first.

As I said, he missed his playtime as a consequence, apologised to both the teacher and his friend and was told off at home. Not all children are perfect 24/7 and making one single impulsive mistake hardly means he’s on some sort of violent rampage.

The school must think it’s necessary as it’s built into the school day, so it’s either necessary for all to have the opportunity to eat or none.

No it’s not acceptable. They have snacks for a reason - they get hungry , they need fuel.

As a teacher myself , after keeping children in many times myself as a consequence… I now really disagree with it. I’ve realised as time goes on that children need that break to run their every off and regulate.

I’m not sure what else you want me to do? Scream at him and lock him in a room the first time he’s ever been in trouble in his life? 🥱 you’re saying my priorities are wrong for being concerned about the snack situation, yet you fail to realise that I can tell my child off and make it known he was wrong AND also create a thread on mumsnet with a query within the same hour. They don’t just cancel eachother out. Even his own teacher said it’s completely out of character and likely a one off, impulsive action. 🤷🏼‍♀️

They weren't
Afternoon snack is served outside during a play session which OP's son did not have.

Never ever heard of food being denied as punishment at any school.And for a 5 year old - really?! And a sodding banana,not a cupcake.

If anything,if such a young child had shown unusual hyper/aggressive behaviour - wouldn't you WANT him to have a healthy snack?

You don't need to have a health condition to need to reset,or keep your energy levels up.

5 is so little.It already sounds like his apologies have been done to death IMO.

You won't get far with this @cjs99x - AIBU loves a child to be punished.

I agree with you - staying in at break time is one thing, the missing out on playtime is the point. It's not the school's authority to deliberately withhold food while others are eating, that's a massive overstep.

Get over it and focus on his behaviour. Will he starve if he misses a snack? Never heard of afternoon snacks anyway.

Anywaaaays. This has been a pleasure. It’s a shame that people can’t just have a normal conversation nowadays without judgements and insults. I definitely see what people mean about asking advice on mumsnet 🤣 goooodnight 🫶🏼