School withholding snack as punishment?

[cjs99x]

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme

If you'd read the OP's posts, you wouldn't have needed to post this.

I don't agree with withholding food as a punishment. But that said, my school don't do afternoon snack. Lunch at 12:30 and home at 3:15, not sure it's needed.

I would ask what happened.
i think the point isn’t that he can manage without a snack, it’s whether food is being used as a treat or removed as a punishment.

Chances are it’s no big deal but I would want to know the rules.

I don't care about you or your child

I disagree with this as a punishment. Missing playtime is fair. Missing the snack isn't. Many posters seem to think that snack = treat but they're not supposed to be the same thing. At school, a snack is normally something healthy like a piece of fruit, intended to tide the child over until their next meal. School is physically and mentally tiring.

I think the school have put themselves in the wrong by doing this, which undermines the lesson they were trying to teach about fighting.

I don’t think it’s okay, and am also opposed to removing breaks as a punishment for young children, it’s really harsh.

Well teachers on the thread (I am one) seem to think it's unacceptable to punish children this age by withholding food or outside play.

I don't agree with it either. I'm not horrified by it because they've had lunch but I think staying indoors was punishment enough and don't think depriving food should be part of any punishment.

I haven’t come across afternoon snacks at schools generally. It’s one time and, if as you say your child doesn’t get into trouble very often, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

Such a weird response.

Threads about badly behaved children rarely go well OP.
But it sounds like you have seen that going into school would make you look like a twat. The issue has been dealt with - tomorrow is another day!

Completely agree. I think that the use of food to reward and punish children must be one of the reasons that so many adults have an unhealthy relationship with food. Hence the number of overweight adults who comfort eat when unhappy or stressed.

And yes, I would want to speak to the school, not so much about this one incident, but about their general policy of withdrawing snacks as a sanction. I don't care if it makes me That Parent.

Yes similar here. They don't have a morning snack but they do have lunch at 11.25 and if the afternoon snack was missed (only once due to something outside their control), my child was hungry.

So I hear this point. In an older child or a later lunch, maybe it's different but I can understand your child may have been genuinely hungry.

Very unlikely as a one off to cause issues with food. Bit of an overreaction.

Oh for crying out loud!
OP bought the snack with HER money for HER child. End of. No teacher has the right to withhold it.
The only punishment that should've taken place was to keep him inside.
No of course he won't starve, but that is really beside the point.
OP please ensure you are firm, but fair in communicating this must never happen again.

Well, we don't know though do we?!

Well aren’t you charming.

Denying a 5yo a break to be outside and denying him a snack is just exercise of power. It doesnt teach the child anything, more over if he just reacted to being pushed. The school should be teaching the children how to navigate social interactions. This was just demostration of power.

Some weird responses on here. All kids have their moments.

Such a pointless response.

Happily it's now illegal for teachers to physically abuse tiny children.

Taking away the chance to eat is really poor behaviour management. Your son needs to understand the actual consequences of fighting or reacting with his fists - that others get hurt, and trust you less. And he needs to understand his own anger triggers and learn to manage them. Sounds like the teachers in his school have no skills in that area whatsoever and are just being petty because they don’t know what else to do.

Yes food shouldn’t be not given as a punishment

equally it’s a consequences for his behaviour as didn’t get break time

I have never heard of 2 snacks at school. If they have lunch they really don’t need a snack 2hrs later esp if finishing school an hour after that

it he was hungry he could have eaten his banana when you picked up

but won’t kill him not to eat for a few hours

hopefully your son has learnt from this not to push (back) and to eat more at lunch so not starved an hour or so later

I always think posts about young children in a 'fight' are quite amusing and how people say how they wouldn't want their child being around those who fight. Honestly the OPs son was likely to be involved in rough play, as she describes, with a bit of pushing.
Likewise I don't think the school were 'withholding food' as so many suggest. Kid was kept in from going out which is when they normally would eat a snack. Teacher is busy, focusing on talking to the child about good choices on the playground and perhaps setting up any further activities or beginning to get ready for the end of the day. Totally forgets child hasn't had a snack. Child has done their time. Goes off to get snack but at this point I expect everyone is coming in and the time has been missed. An unintentional consequence of being kept in. Was it the same staff member who prevented the snack? It's always possible someone else just thought they were being slow and using the opportunity to time waste (we have had to talk to year 1s that they get the snack at the start of morning break and then need to eat it before the end of break, if kids are coming back in still eating it has to go - they have 15 mins for break so there is no reason for them to still have an apple with only one or two bite marks in it, unless they haven't taken the snack at the start as asked, or have been cheeky enough to grab a second!).
It's definitely not something I would complain about - it sounds quite lucky that they get to have a snack in the afternoon in the first place (we don't) but also the break in the afternoon as well (we only have morning break and a lunch break). If we are lucky and have enough staff and no one is doing PE on the playground then we might be able to let year 1 out for a little play in the afternoon, else from 1-3.30 they are indoors learning.

True, but who's to say it will be a one-off? It's never good to use food as reward or punishment.