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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Two adults cornered and scolded my 7yo

381 replies

Rosie5832 · 29/09/2025 13:31

At a classmate’s birthday party, my child was cornered by the parents of another classmate. They accused him of bullying their son and told him to stop it. He said he wasn’t doing that and they kept on shouting at him that he was.
After this, he was very upset and was crying inconsolably.
Another parent - the mum of the birthday child - went to his assistance and messaged me telling me to return to the party as my son needed me, and that she couldn’t settle him at all (I had left for an hour). While she was messaging me, these two parents came over to her and told her my son was a bully - he was right there and still crying. She told them to back off. When I arrived, they rushed straight over to me and told me that my son was bullying their son etc. No acknowledgment from them that they had cornered him alone and shouted at him. It was only later at home that he told me what had happened, I called the other mum and she confirmed it, describing the way they approached me as an ‘ambush’. She said the whole party turned into a ‘sh*tshow’ because of the way these parents were behaving, and all the other parents - and probably some of the kids - could see what had happened.
I’m in shock over this. I’m meeting with the school teacher today to alert her to this incident and to make sure my son is kept safe in school.
I want to say something to these parents about their behaviour. Imo they were completely out of line, and all the other mums I’ve spoken to since agree that you never confront a child alone like that, regardless of what issue you have with them.
On the way in to school this morning, my son stopped dead just before the door and said, “why didn’t you stay at the party?”. He was clearly thinking about the whole incident and probably concerned that he would encounter these parents at the school.
Has anyone any experience of this kind of behaviour from other parents?

OP posts:
MeridianB · 29/09/2025 14:21

Totally outrageous. Two adults in a 7-yo's face?

Has your son shared any more about what prompted this?

Agree with PPs that you should speak to the school so they can watch for any trouble with the other child and also the parents.

persephonia · 29/09/2025 14:22

getsomehelp · 29/09/2025 13:34

I would also be asking the school whether your son is in fact a bully. This has to have come out of somewhere.

Not necessarily. I vividly remember someone else's mum looking over me when I was 7 (in the playground at picking up time) and shouting at me that I needed to back of from bullying her child. I had not exchanged one word with her child at the time. Her child was, interestingly, actually a bully. The mum was just nuts.

ilovesooty · 29/09/2025 14:23

Their behaviour was wrong.
It's unclear whether this alleged bullying was a one off at the party or an ongoing situation at school.

nomas · 29/09/2025 14:24

I’m meeting with the school teacher today to alert her to this incident and to make sure my son is kept safe in school.

Agreed but you also need to check with your son and the school of your son is bullying their kid and others.

I don’t condone parents taking things into their own hands, but if they’re at the end of their tether with their son being bullied then I have a bit more empathy.

Izzywizzy85 · 29/09/2025 14:24

The parents sound unhinged. I’m glad party kids mum had your sons back! I hope you do confront these parents at school, no way I’d let them get away with speaking to my child like that .

minipie · 29/09/2025 14:25

Hang on. Did they say DS had been bullying their kid at school? Or at the party?

If he’d been doing something at the party then their reaction was OTT but at least it’s understandable why they spoke to him at the party.

If they were accusing him of bullying at school then this is definitely a very odd and out of order way to go about it. And especially to do it while you weren’t there.

I assumed from your OP that this was all about something he did at the party. But other pp are assuming it’s about school behaviour. Which is it please?

Itstheshowgirl · 29/09/2025 14:26

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 29/09/2025 14:19

'Bully' is a very big word to describe 7 year olds.

What on Earth was your son doing to provoke such a strong response at a party? This won't have come from nowhere.

Edited

Don’t blame a child for terrible adult behaviour.

I am afraid I just couldn’t keep my temper in this situation.

How dare they.

If your son has done something to their child then they need to bring it up with you or the school not corner a child when he is not with his parents.

I would report them to the police for their intimidating and threatening behaviour towards a child.

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2025 14:27

getsomehelp · 29/09/2025 13:34

I would also be asking the school whether your son is in fact a bully. This has to have come out of somewhere.

Doesn't justify two adults bullying a 7 year-old

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2025 14:28

nomas · 29/09/2025 14:24

I’m meeting with the school teacher today to alert her to this incident and to make sure my son is kept safe in school.

Agreed but you also need to check with your son and the school of your son is bullying their kid and others.

I don’t condone parents taking things into their own hands, but if they’re at the end of their tether with their son being bullied then I have a bit more empathy.

How can they be at the end of their tether? They clearly haven't tried to do anything up until now

AhBiscuits · 29/09/2025 14:28

What they did was 100% wrong and inappropriate. Have they spoken to the school and to you before deciding to ambush your son as a last resort? What does he say about the allegations?
That said, if there's truth in it I'd be coming down on my son like a ton of bricks.

Cadenza12 · 29/09/2025 14:28

What did your son do?

InMyShowgirlEra · 29/09/2025 14:28

You were right to approach the school.

Definitely do not approach the parents- this should now be handled by the school and any communication with them will fuel the drama. You might need to stay at parties for a while to monitor the situation but hopefully the school will warn them not to harass him again.

getsomehelp · 29/09/2025 14:28

Doorbellsandknockers · 29/09/2025 13:48

So you assume because one kids angry parents say he's 'the bully' he is. I hope they don't call you up for jury service.

Uncalled for comment.
I would want to investigate. I am not accusing OP’s child of being a bully. but these parents are

TheCurious0range · 29/09/2025 14:29

We have a mum in DS' class who would do this, she's had issues with half the parents in the class, her son can do no wrong in her eyes nothing is ever six of one half a dozen of another and god forbid you get the slot after her at parents evening you'll never get seen. The dad is really laid back and nice, almost sheepish sometimes about her behaviour. I've steered clear having seen what happened to others.

At a party last summer I saw her son punch another child hard in the arm, the other child pushed him away, he immediately started crying and ran and told his mum he was being bullied. It's nonsense. Luckily a number of parents had seen what had happened, but she wouldn't have it. Took her child from the party then bleated all over social media that he was being isolated. She needs more going on in her life

nomas · 29/09/2025 14:30

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2025 14:28

How can they be at the end of their tether? They clearly haven't tried to do anything up until now

We don’t know that.

RidingMyBike · 29/09/2025 14:30

This happened to my then 7yo, just one parent shouting at her, rather than two, and not school-related. The child mine was supposedly bullying was several years older and quite a bit bigger. It turned out that the mum had mental health problems, her child was struggling with that and taking it out on other children. It all
got very messy and involved safeguarding. The mum has now been banned from being in the building when children’s activities are taking place.

You do have to follow up, you don’t want adults behaving like that near children.

Coconutter24 · 29/09/2025 14:30

Where have the bullying allegations come from? Parents don’t usually just make stuff up. There approach was totally inappropriate whether your child is a bully or not but if he is an actual bully then he does need to be told. This incident isn’t actually a school matter so you can’t expect them to say anything to the parents but you can ask how your son and their child get along during the school day or ask to keep an eye on them to check no bullying is going on

nomas · 29/09/2025 14:32

Doorbellsandknockers · 29/09/2025 13:48

So you assume because one kids angry parents say he's 'the bully' he is. I hope they don't call you up for jury service.

When did the meaning of ‘ask if he’s bully’ change into ‘assume he’s a bully’?

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2025 14:32

nomas · 29/09/2025 14:30

We don’t know that.

Well they haven't contacted the OP and the teacher clearly hasn't had a word, so I don't think they've explored every avenue yet.

Shr3dding · 29/09/2025 14:33

latetothefisting · 29/09/2025 13:45

If Ops son was bullying theirs to the point this was the "last straw of desperate parents" then
a) whyon earth would you invite the bully to your child's birthday party
B) why have they or the school not tried to contact op about the bullying before now?
c) surely if you felt you had to invite then you'd ask the parent to stay at the party to keep an eye/so you could use the opportunity to discuss said bullying?

OPs child is SEVEN ffs. In no way is "never mention it to anyone just wait until you can get the kid alone and then gang up on them" an appropriate strategy, no matter how "desperate" the parents (i.e. FULLY GROWN ADULTS) might be.

In answer to your point a) did you see the thread the other day about inviting a bully to a party? There were plenty of posters who explained why they would do that

Totally not condoning the behaviour but we have no idea if the child in question is a bully and interesting to read other POVs

forgotmyusername1 · 29/09/2025 14:33

I remember leaving nursery with my then 3 year old son. A parent came and squared up to me about my son making his daughter cry. I apologised and said I would find out what happened. Went back into nursery and the rather bemused nursery worker said my son hadn't done anything to his daughter and she was crying as she wasn't allowed a second pudding.

Allswellthatendswelll · 29/09/2025 14:34

Unfortunately I've seen this kind of thing a lot in my career where parents have got very aggressive and it's been unfounded.

For example I've taught kids who were not being bullied, just normal friendship issue stuff and their Dad's turned up at school and were very aggressive- threatening to beat up the other children's parents etc. Really scary stuff!

You are 100% right to go to the school OP.

nomas · 29/09/2025 14:35

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2025 14:32

Well they haven't contacted the OP and the teacher clearly hasn't had a word, so I don't think they've explored every avenue yet.

They may have spoken to the school.

rwalker · 29/09/2025 14:35

What’s gone on to make 2 parents that riled up they have a go at him in front of them of everyone
then tell the person whom intervened
then still be that upset about what’s gone on to go straight to op when she appears to tell her

TheatricalLife · 29/09/2025 14:40

Absolutely not how any bullying incidents should be handled and a massive shame for the party boy and parent who had to deal with all that.
Obviously, there must be some background information to this story -it can't have suddenly come from nowhere. We don't know if the "bullying" is a long term issue, happened at the party, is a misunderstanding, wrong identity 🤷‍♀️. Without a doubt, two adults shouldn't have cornered a 7 year old. Bullying can be life destroying though so I can understand the desperation felt by some parents.

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