Page 11 | What's your worst playdate experience?

PumpkinSly · 2025-09-28T15:58:15+00:00

Aibu to ask what your worst playdate stories are (if you can still call it a play date at 9). DS has been to his friends this afternoon and has come home covered in what I can only assume is dog shit. The friend has two dogs and DS has come home with shit all over his shoes, trousers, t-shirt, and even in his hair. It doesn't even smell like normal dog shit. It is very cheesy in smell and it's all over him. He reeked. He said he spent time playing in the garden, but who lets kids play in a dog shit covered garden?! FFS! He's washed, we've cleaned the interior of the car, and his clothes are in the washing machine, so no long term damage. But I am sorely tempted to message the mother and tell her the state DS has come home in. DH thinks it's not worth it, and maybe he is right, so please, tell me your playdate nightmares to distract me.

2025M · 30/09/2025 12:57

RafaFan · 29/09/2025 13:52

Invited two brothers that my son knew from school over for the afternoon when they were all aged between 7 and 9. Their mum and her boyfriend dropped them off at 2.30pm as arranged. They hoovered up all snacks offered, then the oldest asked for a banana...then another...then another. Ate four in total, and several apples, in addition to the granola bars etc. Didn't want to play with anything my son suggested, then within half an hour later they were crying and wanted to go home, despite the arrangement being that they would stay for supper. Drove them half an hour home. Their mum explained that they had not had lunch because they'd come straight from the airport having seen their dad (from whom the mother was separated) off on a six-month work contract abroad and they were a "little upset." Those poor kids. I've since found out from my son that those boys are more often than not at school with no packed lunch and no money to buy anything.

You need to contact the school's safeguarding team. Lack of food can be poverty which is something that the school can assist with, but they should be on meal vouchers, so much mor likely the tip of rhe iceberg of abuse. It would be wise to immediately do this, other adults are the only way to safeguard vulnerable children.

starfishmummy · 30/09/2025 13:11

where the only toys on offer were a single doll and doll's buggy.

That has brought back memories from my childhood. Went with my mum who was visiting a friend and I was playing with their daughter who was younger than me. We were going to have a dolls tea party but she was only allowed two things out at a time which was strictly adhered to. So one doll and one cup!

TheFormidableMrsC · 30/09/2025 13:19

It was me. I threw the date. Well not a play date as such but a small party for my DD with half a dozen friends. DD was moody and naughty in the morning and I put it down to overexcitement. Party went ok. Unbeknown to me DD was brewing D&V which managed to spread to all the other children and parents. I was absolutely horrified. Had I known, I would obviously have cancelled. Never lived it down.

twoshedsjackson · 30/09/2025 13:31

I wonder if the parents of these children ever come to realise that they are doing their child no favours?
I remember having a heart-to-heart with a boy in my class who was genuinely baffled and upset when it dawned on him that a sleepover was in the offing, and he was not invited.
He was socially abrasive, in a class which was actually one of the nicest I ever had. I got the impression that other boys, (single-sex form), when they complained at home of his latest irritating behaviour, had been instructed by parents to remain civil but keep clear where possible, and in a classroom setting he was manageable.
I couldn't really spell it out to him, but he would go out of his way to antagonise as a form of attention-seeking; for example grabbing a coloured pencil from another classmate who had received a set for Christmas stamped with his name, saying, "Nice pencil; you've got two of them now!" as he snapped it in half, or running up to two boys swapping treasured football cards in the playground, running off in a vain attempt to instigate a game of chase.
Nobody had drawn attention to the sleepover party; arrangements had quietly been made outside of school, but he got wind of it.
Somebody needed to spell out a few simple guidelines for staying on the right side of other people, but his parents seemed blissfully unaware.

Judetiff · 30/09/2025 13:40

violetpink · 28/09/2025 21:05

Play date where the Mum tried to sell me a MLM. Very pushy.
Something to do with Aloe Vera. Forever Living? Can’t remember properly.
She practically took me hostage!

What’s MLM?

soundsofthesixties · 30/09/2025 14:04

Bit different when my brother and I were kids in the 50s. He had a birthday party and one of the boys went upstairs and stripped all the beds. My dad put him in the garden, it was March and cold. His mother was furious with her son and banned him from other parties until he could behave himself. Our parents wouldn't tolerate bad mannered children back in the day.

triballeader · 30/09/2025 14:06

The worst? Possibly for both sides has to be the one where the families lovely gran had spent hours polishing their patio windows to a t. My DS failed to realise this and thought the patio doors were open then ran straight through the glass to join his friend in their garden.

I heard the crash. Ambulance rapidly called by shocked family who then came racing round to let me know and provide their spare aunt to babysit my younger kids so I could go with paramedics in ambulance with DS.
He needed an awful lot of stitches. That poor family were in bits and it ruined everyone’s day.

CrispieCake · 30/09/2025 14:12

soundsofthesixties · 30/09/2025 14:04

Bit different when my brother and I were kids in the 50s. He had a birthday party and one of the boys went upstairs and stripped all the beds. My dad put him in the garden, it was March and cold. His mother was furious with her son and banned him from other parties until he could behave himself. Our parents wouldn't tolerate bad mannered children back in the day.

Depending on how old he was, I'd be quite impressed with a child who could strip the beds properly 😂. I'm trying to give my 8yo chores at the moment and he still doesn't quite get this one.

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 30/09/2025 14:40

Judetiff · 30/09/2025 13:40

What’s MLM?

Show quote history

Multi Level Management

Where they start by trying to sell you over priced tat, and then try to convince you to sell it to your friends! 99% of people lose money. Things like Herbalife and Bodyshop at home

Judetiff · 30/09/2025 14:42

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 30/09/2025 14:40

Multi Level Management

Where they start by trying to sell you over priced tat, and then try to convince you to sell it to your friends! 99% of people lose money. Things like Herbalife and Bodyshop at home

Show quote history

I think that used to be called pyramid selling

ridl14 · 30/09/2025 15:06

CoffeeCantata · 29/09/2025 09:09

I’m old so you can imagine - my MIL’s era was the late 50sand 60s. When mine were small, I remember her being very taken aback by the behaviour of visiting children. She advised me not to let them have the run of the house - and definitely not to let them go upstairs. I dismissed this advice as ridiculous , old-fashioned and over-fussy.

Looking back, she was SO right! The sheer wanton wreckage that I’d find upstairs - in all rooms, not just the children’s- was shocking. It went far beyond the sort of normal playing untidiness. I came to realise the hard way that there really are some children who set ou5 to be destructive- it’s how they have fun. God knows whether they did it at home,or whether there was some kind of psychological factor at play…jealousy of some king, a determination to assert their dominance- who knows?

Young mums…my MIL was right!😲

I'm listening! 😂 My DC isn't at playdate age yet, this is all very useful

Lookingforhomesolutions · 30/09/2025 15:13

CrispieCake · 28/09/2025 20:35

We went to an absolutely beautiful house where the only toys on offer were a single doll and doll's buggy. There were four toddlers present.

You can imagine how that went down. Like a Saturday night on Union Street in Plymouth. The dolly and her buggy had to be confiscated and put upstairs. Thankfully it was the rather clueless nanny doing the playdate not the mum, so myself and the other mum invited improvised by doing some "junk modelling" with a roll of sellotape, some string and the contents of the recycling bin. Then we pretended to be ponies and did "pony races" with the kids climbing on us. Then we started a game of hide and seek but got freaked out when one of the kids hung off the very expensive looking curtains. I asked for a glass of water but there didn't seem to be any glasses except wine/champagne glasses which the nanny didn't look too confident about us using so I went to the loo and drank water from the tap (was thirsty after the "pony races"). Came back to find the kids jumping on the sofa and the nanny looking very worried so decided that it was a good time to say our thank yous and leave (we'd been there about an hour).

The other mum hot-tailed it out after me and we stopped to buy cake at the cake shop on the way home. We discussed going for coffee but agreed that what we really needed was to eat our cake alone in pyjamas lying on our respective sofas. We've had some playdates since which have been... interesting (for all sorts of reasons!). But that one sticks in my mind as the least enjoyable.

Another notable one was when we turned up to find that the playdate child had been taken out by the father because she was being a pain in the arse and so my child spent the entire time bouncing on the trampoline by himself in the garden while the mother and I had coffee. Tbh we quite enjoyed that one - we don't have a trampoline so it was a treat for my DC and peaceful for me. At the end of the playdate, the mother gave my DC a party-bag to apologise for her child not being there but said (to a 4yo!) words to the effect of "I'm sure you understand, Violet (not real name) wouldn't have added anything to the playdate, given her mood" 😆. It was just very odd.

The image of you going to a massive house where they have a Nanny, and having to drink from a bathroom tap, has absolutely floored me

ShuffleOn · 30/09/2025 15:18

Softplay is usually ok for us, but one time last year at a 5th birthday party, some older kids (from a different group) were being very rough with the younger kids (dds friends)
One of older lads punched a young lad and another one from the same group started calling some of the girls fat and ugly. Another one kept kicking a ball really hard at any of the kids who tried to play in the ball pen bit.

The parents/guardians of the nasty boys were just sat together chatting, oblivious to the carnage the boys were causing. The boy who got punched was really upset and didn’t want to go back in, the mum obviously went over and had a word with the parents but they didn’t seem all that arsed or surprised.

In the end, a member of staff told the boys off & said they had to leave. Cue the effing and blinding from a couple of the parents🤯

LizzieLogan · 30/09/2025 15:42

Not me, but a friend of mine went for a play date when DCs were about 2 with a new mum who’d moved to the town and was offered a bottle of Stella at 10am instead of a cup of tea. Yes, she told the health visitor - we all had the same one.

soundsofthesixties · 30/09/2025 15:49

ChrispieCake.
He was about 8, the sheets,blankets (no duvets back then) were just pulled of the beds and left in a huge pile on the landing.😄 I've just remembered he also pulled a curtain rail down with the curtains attached.

CoffeeCantata · 30/09/2025 15:51

PansyPotter84 · 30/09/2025 08:59

That’s definitely a generational thing.

We have some friends who have adopted the gentle parenting thing since having
kids and they are both horrors (one boy and one girl).

The parents are both “at a loss” about what to do about their kids’ behaviour but say that the grandparents have suggested giving them a smack when they misbehave (to which they were horrified).

The middle way seems to have always worked for us (so far) no smacking, keep calm but save the raised voice or shouts for serious situations for effect, natural consequences and loss of privileges for punishment when needed, not being afraid to separate children if fighting (very rare) or
to shove child away who is trying to hit me (only happened twice).

Also not being afraid to point out behaviour expectations in public:

eg “remember, there are other people on this coach who you should think about- so best keep the noise down, eh?” (prompted nodding approval from elderly passengers followed by complements on their behaviour at the end of
the journey from some of them)

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Totally agree!

A nice friend of mine had a daughter who was inclined to hit or hurt other children for no obvious reason when she was about 4. As soon as the girl hurt someone, Sue (nc) would scoop her up and take her home. Daughter soon learned! She made the connection between hitting another child and being removed promptly from the ‘fun’ environment.

i admired Sue because she was very sociable and enjoyed these get-togethers very much. It would have been easy for her to just turn a blind eye (and many parents would have - I’ve seen a lot of that) and sit back with her coffee, but she was scrupulous. If only everyone had this rigorous attitude!

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 30/09/2025 16:50

CoffeeCantata · 30/09/2025 15:51

Totally agree!

A nice friend of mine had a daughter who was inclined to hit or hurt other children for no obvious reason when she was about 4. As soon as the girl hurt someone, Sue (nc) would scoop her up and take her home. Daughter soon learned! She made the connection between hitting another child and being removed promptly from the ‘fun’ environment.

i admired Sue because she was very sociable and enjoyed these get-togethers very much. It would have been easy for her to just turn a blind eye (and many parents would have - I’ve seen a lot of that) and sit back with her coffee, but she was scrupulous. If only everyone had this rigorous attitude!

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Obviously this was a good strategy for Sue. Unfortunately I've worked with some children who become overwhelmed at fun occasions, hit someone then get removed. They then learn to hit out to ensure they are removed immediately from situations they find stressful.

AutumnLover1989 · 30/09/2025 18:39

ShuffleOn · 30/09/2025 15:18

Softplay is usually ok for us, but one time last year at a 5th birthday party, some older kids (from a different group) were being very rough with the younger kids (dds friends)
One of older lads punched a young lad and another one from the same group started calling some of the girls fat and ugly. Another one kept kicking a ball really hard at any of the kids who tried to play in the ball pen bit.

The parents/guardians of the nasty boys were just sat together chatting, oblivious to the carnage the boys were causing. The boy who got punched was really upset and didn’t want to go back in, the mum obviously went over and had a word with the parents but they didn’t seem all that arsed or surprised.

In the end, a member of staff told the boys off & said they had to leave. Cue the effing and blinding from a couple of the parents🤯

Edited

And you wonder where the children get it from...😞

CrispieCake · 01/10/2025 08:40

soundsofthesixties · 30/09/2025 15:49

ChrispieCake.
He was about 8, the sheets,blankets (no duvets back then) were just pulled of the beds and left in a huge pile on the landing.😄 I've just remembered he also pulled a curtain rail down with the curtains attached.

I can see that being very, very annoying, it's just not a brand of playdate destruction I'd come across before 😂. And we've had a few horrors...

CrispieCake · 01/10/2025 08:46

Lookingforhomesolutions · 30/09/2025 15:13

The image of you going to a massive house where they have a Nanny, and having to drink from a bathroom tap, has absolutely floored me

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It was absolutely bizarre, the whole thing 😆. I'm not a demanding guest and don't expect to be hosted and fed on playdates, although a hot drink is appreciated. And I don't leave my kids to run riot and would always expect to have to actively parent toddlers. But a glass of water feels like a very basic request! Nowadays I'd just take a swig from my kids' water bottles, but back then I was paranoid about sharing mouth bacteria for some reason 😂.

Catsknowbest · 01/10/2025 09:30

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 29/09/2025 07:44

My ex left me for someone else. I was distraught and not ready to tell people.

My son must have said his Dad had left at school as one of the loud Mums came over and asked if I was ok. She invited me for something to eat after school while the boys played.

I ended up breaking down and telling her everything.

She promptly set off the jungle drums and told all my business to everyone else, then stopped speaking to me because I was a single Mum and a benefits scrounger and all that. I did claim some help from tax credits but I was still working full time, paying the mortgage etc., so I was doing as much as I could myself.

Wow. What an evil cow.

Jasmineivy · 02/10/2025 05:44

ridl14 · 29/09/2025 15:23

Wait this mum was supposed to bring her twins for a playdate and instead left you with all five of her children when you had 4 of your own including a 3 month old?

And was late and expected you to feed them all?? I'm speechless!

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Yes 😀, she gave the impression that she had it harder than anyone else because of having 5DC and twins, which is fair, but she couldn’t see things from anyone else’s perspective either.

Jasmineivy · 02/10/2025 06:26

I’ve remembered another one (this thread is cathartic!), when I was pregnant with DC no. 4 we went to DH’s friend’s house who had two DC the same age as our two eldest. We were visiting from overseas and hadn’t been to their house before. We were greeted by the most boisterous Labrador who launched itself at me. Luckily DH got in between to slow the dog down but it still jumped on me and also terrified DC no 3. I love dogs but this one was so badly behaved and the mum treated it like a child.

There were no toys out in the living area as the dog would eat them, and the back garden was covered in shit. The mum grudgingly produced a toy and her DC immediately took over playing with it, fair enough as they hadn’t had toys to play with either.

At one point my DC went into their DC bedroom to look for toys and I came too to make sure they didn’t touch anything they shouldn’t. The mum came rushing in, I thought initially to chat but it turned out she was getting us out of the room so we didn’t touch her DC’s stuff.

It was a really exhausting experience. I think they were only really interested in seeing DH and in hindsight he should have gone by himself.

ridl14 · 02/10/2025 09:08

GiddyDog · 29/09/2025 10:21

Not exactly a playdate as it was unplanned and we didn't even know the child!

Took DD who was around 4 at the time and infant DS to a farm park. She started playing with a little boy a couple of years older on one of the play structures, I got a brief wave from two women who appeared to be mum and grandma.
We moved on from that area....boy followed....went to the strawberry picking....boy followed....to another play park....boy followed.

At this point Mum and Grandma have disappeared so I said to him do you know where mummy is as we're going to have lunch now so DD can't play. Obviously used to this he says oh it's ok I'll wait for her, I said no you need to go find your mum. He just moved a few feet away to sit and watch us eat so I felt obligated to offer him some.

Head to the petting zoo with him still in tow, don't even know his name, adults still nowhere to be found.

This went on for the entire 3 hours we were there, no one ever came looking for him. Eventually it came time for us to leave so I went to a member of staff and said sorry but this child has followed us around all day, he isn't with us, we don't know where his parents are but we need to go home now so I suggest you make an announcement and if they don't appear to claim him you need to call the police.

That is awful!!

Skye109 · 02/10/2025 09:16

Flatandhappy · 29/09/2025 22:13

DS was invited for a play date aged around 6. Mum seemed nice and she made it clear it was a “let’s hang out with the kids in the garden in a sunny afternoon” thing. When we arrived she opened the door topless and remained like that for the rest of the afternoon. When I went to the toilet it was so dirty I actually couldn’t use it. Very odd.

Nooooooooooooooo!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!😱

No, seriously, please tell me this didn't really happen!

WTAF?!?!?