AIBU to be a little sad at the idea of dd not believing in Father Christmas anymore?

[Readyforslippers]

Dd is in Year 3 at school (all aged 7/8), she absolutely believes in Father Christmas at the moment. How many more years am I likely to have? I feel perhaps someone at school may spill the beans soon?

I understand some parents don't agree with it, but for me her belief is something quite magical and I feel a little sad at the idea of that ending. AIBU to feel this way and to try to make this year a little extra special just in case? I suppose the problem is that I could end up saying that for several years.

She's growing up too quickly, it's like I've blinked since she was tiny and she's now in key stage 2!

How did you not realise that it was a big deal for families of 5 year olds?
I'm easy-going about a lot of things but I couldn't assume that other people feel the same as me.

We did santa visits until my two were 9 and 11, I have no idea if they still believed or not, probably not, but they wanted to go and I was in no hurry for them to grow up!

The summer before the eldest went to secondary they told me they were too old now and didn’t want to do it any more. The first year was weird as all of a sudden we could nt do the things we d been doing for 9 years, and I was really upset about it, but we found other things, we still do festive things every weekend through November and December , just things suitable for teens! Our new traditions should last through until they want to do their own thing and it’s still an awesome time, it’s just different.

i still do elf on the shelf though, we still have a special elf breakfast on Christmas Eve and put the plate out for Santa as well!!

Honestly, I don’t think I ever believed in Father Christmas. Maybe I was born sceptical!

I didn't give it that much thought. I wasn't really aware that 5 was younger than average to figure it out and it didn’t particularly occur to me he would go round telling others or that they would be interested or that it would be significant if they were.

So by letting her let her child believe in fairies and Father Christmas and the tooth fairy… while she’s a CHILD and whatever else means she will raise an idiot?! 🤯😂

We live rurally so telling the kids just before high school seems to be really common here. I was surprised to be honest but my 8 going on 9 year old still fully believes . I suspect its because we took him to Lapland to meet the REAL santa .

If you say so.

NORAD was the reason my children believed for longer than their peers.

"These are people responsible for nuclear weapons! Do you really think they'd be tracking Santa every year if it was all a lie? That's ridiculous. They are serious people with a very important job. They aren't going to play top h fairies with the planet!"

^ DS1, age 10, to his disbelieving friend.

Probably another 2-3, my DD is 10 (11 in January) and this will be the first Christmas she doesn’t believe. My older DD was about 10 too.
I know what you mean about being a little sad but I’m also relieved, it will just be a different kind of Christmas. We will still do “Santa” of course but it will just be different.
Also no more elf on the shelf - woo hoo!!!!!

Yes, I suppose it will be much easier not having to sneak in and out with the stocking and hide present deliveries etc. Another couple would be lovely if it happens. Fortunately, we never started elf on the shelf, which I'm still glad about!

Totally this.

I've taught between years 3-6 for many, many years.
They are totally questioning by year 3 and start to work it out pretty quickly. They see the delight the whole magical myth brings to their parents and they go along with it.
They know!

I believed it until I was nearly 11 too. My DM eventually told me in the summer before I started secondary school because she thought:
a) maybe I already knew and was just pretending for her benefit,
b) if I really did believe then I would be made fun of at secondary so needed to know.

I don't think I was an especially gullible child (!) but I had two much older sisters who were teenagers while I was still very small and I think they liked the idea of their little sister still believing it all. They went to great lengths to convince me and answer all the difficult questions I might have about how it all worked.

By the time I was 9 or 10 I had been given a very complicated explanation of the logistics that had little to do with magic. Basically I knew it was impossible for one being to get to every child in one night so I had accepted there were multiple Father Christmasses and the one who visited you was the one who your parents had an arrangement with. All presents were actually from your friends and family but they were sent to the appropriate FC for him to deliver to you. Hence, when other children at school said there wasn't a FC I was told that this was because their parents had not got an arrangement like we had. I knew there was a network of helpers and other staff.

With my own DD I don't think I would have gone to quite the same lengths but i was still a bit disappointed she stopped believing as early as she did. She was doubtful and questioning by her first Christmas at school, aged 5, but I think we kept it going as |I wanted one more Christmas. By the following year she had definitely stopped believing.

Yes but this is how DD1’s mind would then work if you went down that route.

’But why are they all dressed up as him and called Santa if they’re just helpers? The elves are his helpers. And why do I get asked what I want every time when I already wrote my letter?’ And so on, picking at every tiny thread. She’s ruthless 😂

When I first mentioned the tooth fairy she just gave me a withering look so we never pursued that one 🧚❌ Her tooth still goes under her pillow and she gets stuff, so she’s happy with that!

No.

Tbh I'll be proud rather than sad when my 5yo gets to this stage (she nearly is). I can't understand why you'd feel sadness.

As I said, that's like feeling sadness when your dc learns to walk, or read etc. It's a developmental stage. Usually that triggers happy and proud feelings

Yes I didn’t feel sad at all really. Maybe a bit surprised as it felt like 4 was quite young, but she’s just got that sort of brain. DD2 is a bit more airy fairy so it’ll be interesting to see what path she takes!

I think DD was about 10 when she realised. (She is SEN and young for her age). We had a silly conversation about how people might say he isn't real, but if she keeps on believing in him then he will still bring presents (FC never brought all the presents, gifts were always given from who they were from, but FC brought the big gift and the stocking).

She is 17 now, and asks me to buy her certain things for her present or stocking, (or buys them herself from Primark and hands them to me ) and I still leave the stocking by her bed, and she still brings it in to me to open it.

She is very set in her ways and routine/tradition due to the SEN, and it keeps Christmas special and traditional for her, even though she now knows its me.

You can still keep the Christmas magic, even if they know its not real

But if you can remember the huge magical excitement you felt as a child on Christmas Eve, ‘knowing’ that FC was coming, it’s surely normal to feel a bit sad that your dc isn’t going to experience that any more.

I suspect that my elder Gdd, now 10, will have sussed it out by now, but only last October she was appalled to hear that close friends of her and Gds weren’t going to be allowed to go trick or treating*, since, ‘…Halloween is absolutely the most exciting day of the year, apart from Christmas!’

*apparently for once their Dm just couldn’t be bothered with it.

But if you can remember the huge magical excitement you felt as a child on Christmas Eve, ‘knowing’ that FC was coming, it’s surely normal to feel a bit sad that your dc isn’t going to experience that any more.

I never believed in FC and Christmas was still as magical as ever. You don't need to believe in a made-up figure to have a wonderful Christmas and experience all the joy and excitement.

But if you can remember the huge magical excitement you felt as a child on Christmas Eve, ‘knowing’ that FC was coming, it’s surely normal to feel a bit sad that your dc isn’t going to experience that any more.
I don't remember that. Nor does DH. Not because we didn't have perfectly nice Christmases and enjoy them but this idea of it being magical and Father Christmas being a significant part of Christmas being something to look forward to passed me by so it wasn't anything I was particularly invested in.

So we do the Elf religiously everyday from Dec 1st to 25th. I just know that when dd discovers it was actually DH and I placing that thing here and there each morning, (and I suspect that will be this year if she hasn't already worked it out) she won't be disappointed, she'll be delighted.

That feeling, that people you love have made a real effort for you, is magical too. (Arguably even better, because Father Christmas is a bit impersonal really in the way he goes to everyone.)

It's like that amazing feeling when you realise all your friends have organised a surprise birthday for you.

My dd is 9 and told me a few weeks ago she knows Santa isn’t real and hasn’t believed for a while, she’s just gone along with it.
I have to admit I was a little sad as she’s my youngest and for the first time in 23 years I don’t have a child that believes in Santa, my other kids are all grown up now. Fortunately I have a grandchild I can carry on the Santa magic for

As it is, I think my 5yo dd has got an image in her mind of Father Christmas being run by something like the local council or the NHS. She said that he's probably got a big computer with everyone's names and ages and interests on ...presumably parents fill out an online form...she keeps reminding me to make sure Father Christmas knows her favourite colour has changed. I think she thinks they send out gifts in the same way you get your childhood vaccine reminders. Either that or she simply knows it's us and is reminding US what her favourite colour is!

Not very magical really, being just a data entry in some bearded man's spreadsheet, that's her view on it I think.
She prefers the Elf which is just for our house

The good news is that this is exactly how children are supposed to develop. An enquiring mind that begins to question the validity of what they are told is a positive thing. Some people have children who will always believe in Santa, even in adulthood.

You are so right about that feeling and what a lovely way to look at it. Mind you, I'd run a mile if someone threw me a surprise birthday party as I'd be too embarrassed for words, but I do understand your point.