AIBU to be a little sad at the idea of dd not believing in Father Christmas anymore?

[Readyforslippers]

Dd is in Year 3 at school (all aged 7/8), she absolutely believes in Father Christmas at the moment. How many more years am I likely to have? I feel perhaps someone at school may spill the beans soon?

I understand some parents don't agree with it, but for me her belief is something quite magical and I feel a little sad at the idea of that ending. AIBU to feel this way and to try to make this year a little extra special just in case? I suppose the problem is that I could end up saying that for several years.

She's growing up too quickly, it's like I've blinked since she was tiny and she's now in key stage 2!

My 5 year old turned round from a display of Christmassy things in a shop once and asked out of the blue if we were Father Christmas and he wasn't real. Don't know what prompted him to think he through, don't think it matters.

When he told a few other children he wasn't doing it out of any bad intention as I seriously doubt any 5 year old would be. He was just passing on information about something in the world that was new to him and he thought was interested.

It's pretty weird to be angry at a child for having knowledge and sharing it.

I’m not angry at the child. I’m angry at the parents for telling their kids that Santa didn’t exist and once they knew that, not to spoil it for everyone else.

Did you tell your five year old child that Santa wasn’t real when he asked you? Personally I think it’s pretty mean to deprive them of that magic so young.

I've no intention of lying when she asks, we don't exactly go crazy trying to pull the wool over her eyes. We just do stocking, gifts and the cookies and carrots are eaten. I'm not really clinging on as we aren't at that point, I was just thinking we may be soon and feeling a little sad at the speed with which she's growing up. I love every minute with her and part of me will miss that, whilst looking forward to her next stages.

I don't see it as lying, im letting her believe, but if she asks I won't lie.

Just because time is going so quickly!

Exactly. I don’t know why people are so intent on ruining the magic of childhood for their kids as soon as possible. Let them believe in stuff when they’re young. They’ll have plenty of time to live in the real world once they hit 7 or 8!

YANBU

My DS is 5, but I also dread this time. End of an era of magic really.
But I always sentimental about each passing phase. However, I know more fun times will be to come. But doesn’t stop you feeling sad about the end of this particular phase.

I answered him honestly yes, didn't occur to me to do otherwise. He was pretty chuffed with himself really. I don't think it's mean to respect his question in the least.

DD asked this year at 7 and I answered honestly too but she was less happy about it and she decided I was joking which is fine, that's what she wants to believe. Mean would be hammering it home and telling her she had to believe me. Answering a genuine question gently but without lying isn't mean.

4 years after DS asked me and then I forgot he had done until one of the school mums told me he was tell8ng other kids and I had to tell him lots of people don't know so not to talk about it and most of those kids do still believe so it's really made no odds to anyone.

Thank you I think your use of the word sentimental is actually more accurate to describe how I feel.

My 11 year old year 6 still fully believes, I’ve always gone to great lengths to keep the magic, our elves she classes as part of our family and her favirote thing about Christmas isn’t just presents it’s knowing Father Christmas is watching and thinking of her, she loves he gets her presents she’s seen in shops but hasn’t asked for on her list, she loves the treats and funny things our elves do, she has so much enjoyment every year when they come. I know myself this is her last year but luckily alot of her class still believe so she’s hasn’t asked questions she’s never had any need to doubt. I will definitely be sad when she knows and I imagen she will too but she has a little brother the magic of elves and Santa she gets to do with him. I don’t think your are being unreasonable OP for being sad it’s very normal, I hope you still have a few more years, I would be been gutted had mine found out at 7! I think Father Christmas is great for kids and parents, in my house we buy some presents but Father Christmas brings the most as it’s more exciting I think coming from him rather than us, we do birthdays from us so having Christmas from him makes more sense to me but I get everyone is different

It is young enough to still believe. My kids believed until about year 5. Keep the magic going for as long as possible. My 22 year old son was talking about Christmas today and said he remembered how magical i made it for him when he was young. He said he still loves Christmas.

Her favourite thing about Christmas isn’t just presents it’s knowing Father Christmas is watching and thinking of her

Well, she's going to be delighted to find out it was all a scam, I'm sure...

Not sure how it’s a scam, I believed till I was around 10 and never felt scammed I just remember amazing Christmas’s and how magical it felt. I was sad when I realised he wasn’t real but am grateful my parents gave me so many amazing memories so now I pass them on to my daughter

My sons in year 3 and the magic is still going in this house. I'll be taking him to lapland this December and next year also.

They are only little once and deserve a magical childhood. I personally think parents who spoil it for their kids are cruel.

Santa still visits our house and my kids are all adults!

I never understand this desperate urgency (you hear on MN) to sit them down as soon as they hit year 4 for some big earnest reveal. How absolutely basic and joyless!

Just playfully keep the magic going. We used to say ‘if you don’t believe, he won’t visit!’ (with a tinkly laugh). People fear ‘bullying at school’ but my kids were perfectly self-aware streetwise teenagers at an inner city comprehensive and they humoured it. In fact family Christmas rituals were probably the last thing they would’ve revealed about themselves at school.

They still get excited about Christmas Day even now!

Well, Father Christmas isn’t watching and thinking of her… but her parents are.

I remember amazing Christmases as a kid, too, and didn’t believe in Santa beyond being very small, not through any joyless lecture but because I either heard or worked out or realised that Father Christmas wasn’t real and don’t remember any sadness about it at all.

Never had to reveal to any of my three that he wasn’t real, either. No sadness, no tears. They’re grown up now and all love Christmas.

Exactly this! I distinctly remember being taken to 'see Santa' at some random garden centre and being massively unimpresssd and instantly suspicious of the whole story. I was cross with my parents/family for pretending Santa was real. I was 7!

I know I was about 8 when I first brought it up, but it went down so badly that I ended up playing along for another 2 years (even though I had twigged long since after having noticed that Father Christmas bought the same wrapping paper as my family every year!)

I probably said it wrong. Maybe lying isn’t the right word but it is being secretive in a way. I’m truly horrific at it. Like Im scared I would say daddy bought them x from Father Christmas. I won’t do the elf thing because it’s just another thing to go wrong. I just have zero ability to do it. My mil told the children that as we don’t have a chimney Santa has a special key to leave gifts in our house - that was too much for me. That is lying around a genuine question.

I wasn’t brought up to believe in Father Christmas. My mum told us really young maybe 4 so I’ve always found it a strange idea. I’m not critical of people for doing it. I genuinely try to do it and to do it well but I just find it hard and I found it such a relief when dsd stopped believing. I will feel the same when ds stops.

The 'magic of Christmas' was never about believing FC was real for us.
We always saw Santa as a story and a tradition. I think it's weird to expect children to believe a fantasy figure is real and then, when they rightly work out it's a fairy story, expect them to pretend it's real!!
Unfortunately I think the parents who think the magic of Christmas is all about believing in a fictional man are doing it more for themselves than for their DCs.

When my DDs 16 & 15 discovered that Father Christmas wasn’t real, they decided that they didn’t want anything to change 😂 they said that even though we know it’s most likely you buying all the gifts can we just carry on as if we don’t know please. Oh and we definitely still want a stocking! Just the other day I told DD 16 that Santa would need to know which Uggs specifically she wants - including a weblink 😂 she was happy to oblige him and be clearer on the list she wrote for him and showed to me … the magic doesn’t have to end 🎄

I still believe in Father Christmas and. I have retired. It's a wonder he has now not got a bunch of Woke transgender cohorts.

Do l still need to leave out organic carrots for the reindeers?

Can l put reindeer poo on the compost heap? Smell better than rotting soggy sprouts.

Father Christmas is eternal and sends all his love.

He will see all his believers in December as usual.

Jingle Bells!!

☃️🧑‍🎄❄️♥️🦌

XXX

Mini blondes still believes. 8.5 today actually and yr 4

she said what she wants from fc

fc gets small pressie she wants and stocking

everything else from me

the item she wants I hadn’t a clue what is was 😂 and said show me as if I don’t know what it is maybe fc wouldn’t know either …..

im pretty sure that I’ve only got this Xmas and maybe one more so yr 5 and will be 9.5

if manage to get to yr 6 and 10.5 I will be overjoyed but will then tell her after Xmas and obv before starts secondary school at 11.5

friends dc still believes after yr 6 Xmas and I said to my friend she has to tell her child as if he starts secondary school and starts staying in Sept Oct that he wants abc from fc - he will get the piss taken out of him

They all know really 😀. They’re humouring you.

it really depends on the child. My youngest worked it out at 3 that there is no FC and it didn't take away from the 'magic' if Xmas at all. my oldest still believes at 18 (complex SN).