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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a rude text?

93 replies

CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:12

I went for a trial shift a few days ago just at a little coffee shop. It’s over minimum wage and the day was ok but the manager was a bit abrupt. At the end of the shift she said to me “do you think you’ll come back?” So I said yes, I’m actually quite shy with new people and she mockingly responded “yeah” in a high pitched voice, almost teasing me as if to say you don’t seem keen.
she had got back to my application very quickly so I hadn’t had time to arrange childcare properly, I said at the end of the shift I would be in touch when I’d confirmed it was in place. This was only 4 days ago - I was going to email a list of my availability tonight.
i just got a text that read “hi. Do you not want the job anymore? Regards” that was it. No thanks for the trial shift, how did you find it. Am I reading too much into it or does that seem abrupt to you?
DH is on a good wage and I’m very fortunate I don’t NEED to work, it was just going to help a bit in the run up to Christmas.
opinions?

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 26/09/2025 17:16

If it's a small business and you've already said you wanted to work there they are probably wanting you to start.

I wouldn't overthink the message and just send your availability.

CeffylCoch · 26/09/2025 17:17

Rude and weird

PuppyMonkey · 26/09/2025 17:18

Some messages can seem a bit abrupt when in RL people are just in a hurry. However, the mocking high pitched “yeah” would put me off massively tbh.

Comedycook · 26/09/2025 17:18

It sounds quite abrupt to me.... however four days is quite a while for you not to have got in touch.

I'd just respond saying that you were just about to message her and then what you were going to say anyway.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:19

It just feels a contrast to my last job where after a trial I got a message that said “Hope you enjoyed today, I think you’ll find right into our team”
there was none of that it came across to me very almost argumentative as if to say you’ve not got back to me in less than a week so I assume you don’t want it. I’d said all along I needed to sort childcare and that I would get in touch as soon as I could. It’s not her business, she is just the manager.

OP posts:
GreenWheat · 26/09/2025 17:20

It's a little abrupt, and as it's a small place I would wonder how compatible I would be working with her. But four days is quite a long time to leave them hanging really for a job like that.

Noshadowsinthedark · 26/09/2025 17:20

Personally I would run for the hills.

This is the behaviour while recruiting, I would bet she’s a nightmare as a manager.

I would be looking elsewhere.

Motnight · 26/09/2025 17:20

I wouldn't work for someone who had openly mocked me. It's not a good sign

CafeDuck · 26/09/2025 17:21

If I were her I would think you’re not interested after 4 days of silence. If you want it, tell her. If not tell her that too

Arlanymor · 26/09/2025 17:22

It’s abrupt but I think it’s fairly normal for hospitality roles that you pretty much have a trial ASAP and start soon after if it goes well. I’m sure she has seen plenty of flakey people in her time (not saying that you are one) and now she is much more direct until she gets to know a person. I also think four days is a really long time in that particular trade not to be in touch.

Zov · 26/09/2025 17:23

Yeah, no. Hmm

You can do better than someone who pours scorn on you @CozyPumpkinSzn

If you don't need the job, then text her and say you're not coming back, and then block her.

Iamthemoom · 26/09/2025 17:24

I think if its a small business needing staff, 4 days is quite a long time to wait to see if a person wants the job or not. Especially if jobs are scarce in the area. Perhaps she was expecting a response within a couple of days and has other people she would offer a trial to if you’re not keen. Her manner is definitely abrupt and comes across as a bit rude (I imagine she put regards to soften it) but I think she might have reasonably expected a quicker response from you. I would just go back to her and apologise for the delay but explain you needed to get your childcare dates sorted but would still like the job and give her your dates.

Arrrrrrragghhh · 26/09/2025 17:26

I think 4 days is actually quite a long time to not respond after a trial shift that’s this flexible . I get you weee sitting childcare but you must have some idea.
I would have said “ yes I want the job but will let you know about the job”.

TheatricalLife · 26/09/2025 17:27

It would be a no from me. She's going to be a bloody nightmare, I'd guarantee it.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 26/09/2025 17:28

Its the new generation of managers tbh

Total headache, girl boss, rude but smiley

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:30

Ahh I’m in 2 minds whether to tell her I can’t take it or not. I was going to do 2 days neither of which have gone by in this time if that makes sense (Monday and Tuesday, trial was Tuesday) so I thought as long as I’d got back to her before my next “day” it didn’t matter. It’s just the tone of the text that’s got my back up. I was meant to be paid for the trial day though as I did 8-5.30 so I bloody want the money!

OP posts:
TheatricalLife · 26/09/2025 17:31

She hasn't paid you for the trial?!

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:33

@TheatricalLife as it stands.. no! It’s weekly pay too apparently

OP posts:
Noshadowsinthedark · 26/09/2025 17:33

Yes, she should pay you. That’s too long to be an unpaid trial…

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:34

@Noshadowsinthedark I was told in interview it would be paid, I’ve had unpaid trials before but they’ve only been a few hours. She hadn’t even asked for my bank details - which is why I certainly wouldn’t ghost her as she owes me about £95!

OP posts:
TheatricalLife · 26/09/2025 17:35

Yeah, thats a massive no then. Red flags all round. It will be one of those where you have fo chase for wages and she'll be one of those bloody "tell it like it is" rude people, which is code for a total cunt.

FuzzyWolf · 26/09/2025 17:35

CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:30

Ahh I’m in 2 minds whether to tell her I can’t take it or not. I was going to do 2 days neither of which have gone by in this time if that makes sense (Monday and Tuesday, trial was Tuesday) so I thought as long as I’d got back to her before my next “day” it didn’t matter. It’s just the tone of the text that’s got my back up. I was meant to be paid for the trial day though as I did 8-5.30 so I bloody want the money!

It didn’t matter to you but perhaps it does to her as she needs to work out the cover accordingly.

I would say she is abrupt but clearly wants to employ you, which isn’t something everyone can say. Four days is a long time to be giving someone the runaround because letting them know before the next working day isn’t important to you.

TeenToTwenties · 26/09/2025 17:36

Id have texted the day after saying 'thank you for the trial, I would love to work for you, in need a couple of days to sort childcare'.

I also wouldn't have left on the trial day without knowing how it was to be paid.

Noshadowsinthedark · 26/09/2025 17:38

CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:34

@Noshadowsinthedark I was told in interview it would be paid, I’ve had unpaid trials before but they’ve only been a few hours. She hadn’t even asked for my bank details - which is why I certainly wouldn’t ghost her as she owes me about £95!

I would be polite and explain the role isn’t going to work for you but please let you know what information she needs to pay you for the one day worked.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:39

@FuzzyWolf which I understand but it wasn’t left with a can you let me know by.. she just left it as “see you when I see you, let me know what you can do”
I’m not even sure I got a thank you.. I think I was spoilt at my old job, I got a thank you at the end of every shift 😢

OP posts:
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