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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a rude text?

93 replies

CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:12

I went for a trial shift a few days ago just at a little coffee shop. It’s over minimum wage and the day was ok but the manager was a bit abrupt. At the end of the shift she said to me “do you think you’ll come back?” So I said yes, I’m actually quite shy with new people and she mockingly responded “yeah” in a high pitched voice, almost teasing me as if to say you don’t seem keen.
she had got back to my application very quickly so I hadn’t had time to arrange childcare properly, I said at the end of the shift I would be in touch when I’d confirmed it was in place. This was only 4 days ago - I was going to email a list of my availability tonight.
i just got a text that read “hi. Do you not want the job anymore? Regards” that was it. No thanks for the trial shift, how did you find it. Am I reading too much into it or does that seem abrupt to you?
DH is on a good wage and I’m very fortunate I don’t NEED to work, it was just going to help a bit in the run up to Christmas.
opinions?

OP posts:
saraclara · 26/09/2025 20:58

CafeDuck · 26/09/2025 17:21

If I were her I would think you’re not interested after 4 days of silence. If you want it, tell her. If not tell her that too

That. I'd have expected to hear from you within two days.

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 26/09/2025 20:58

It's rude but then 4 days is quite a long time for her to wait. Do you really need to keep her updated.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 21:07

It’s not my problem she’s desperate for staff either 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve told her I’d get back to her with when I can work, I’ve now done that and she hasn’t responded in hours

OP posts:
Shakemesexy · 26/09/2025 21:13

You do need to work - you can’t live off others and have no safety net

CantBreathe90 · 26/09/2025 21:15

You're mad to put yourself through the stress of working for someone like that, if you don't need the money! She was needlessly weird and unprofessional. How hard is it to send a message like "It was nice meeting you the other day. Are you still planning on starting with us soon? I'm planning the rota for next month, so it would be helpful to know your availability"?

Her brusqueness and the fact she got back to you so quickly and has invested so little in you, implies to me a high turnover of staff. Almost definitely because she's a PITA.

swingingbytheseat · 26/09/2025 21:18

She sounds insensitive and rude, find a more aligned business

CantBreathe90 · 26/09/2025 21:20

Shakemesexy · 26/09/2025 21:13

You do need to work - you can’t live off others and have no safety net

OP isn't "living off" anyone! Her family is able to live off one wage and presumably she does childcare / housework / life admin etc. You sound jealous tbh!

And even if the worst were to happen, no-one can hope to be financially self-sufficient working two days in a cafe, so it's kind of irrelevant on that front.

ChangingWeight · 26/09/2025 21:22

To be fair, I think you’re reading into her language too much to write the job off completely. But look, if you think it’s not the right job then that’s your decision. I personally would just think this has come about cause you haven’t been clear about whether you want the job and she’s trying to get a direct answer without any more delays. She’s totally within her rights to say, thanks for your trial but the job isn’t available any more but she hasn’t done that.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 21:23

@ChangingWeight very true

OP posts:
Brunettesmorefun · 26/09/2025 21:28

That is very unprofessional and I would not want to work there. It doesn’t sound a nice place to be honest.

Lalaloope · 26/09/2025 21:28

I think you've both missed out some communication here. Neither of you have been direct or clear enough. Reading her text verbatim, it doesn't sound as bad as I thought from your OP. She's only wanting to know if you've changed your mind since she hasn't heard from you.

Have you responded now with your availability? Is that what you're currently waiting for her to respond to?

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 21:32

@Lalaloope yeah exactly that

OP posts:
Lalaloope · 26/09/2025 21:36

Ok. I wouldn't overthink it. Perhaps see how the next shift or so goes and decide if you want to carry on with them. I'd also get your money first before you leave so you don't have to chase them for it.

Humptydumptie · 26/09/2025 21:47

She sounds stressed, no frills in her communication style & not particularly engaging! Been messed about with staffing & recruitment issues /unreliability. But with people skills like that then you have to wonder! I wouldn’t feel like I particularly wanted to work there either after that. But like you say it’s serving chips at an attraction in a small run family business! You can always try & see if anything improves but if she’s who you’ll be dealing with prepare for more of the same OP.

JayJayj · 26/09/2025 21:53

I find fault in both of you.

I can’t understand why you have gone for an interview and a trial without knowing your availability. As “just a manager” myself (as you so rudely put it) it would really put me off giving you a job.

She does not sound like a good leader. There are ways to speak to people out loud no matter what you are thinking.

From what you have said she probably gets messed around a lot and you are coming across as another one. 4 days is a long time. She could have set someone else on.

If it had been me I would have hired someone else and when you got back in touch say “oh I didn’t think you were interested since you took so long, sorry!”

I also wouldn’t want to work for someone who sounds rather mean. It could be her personality, maybe she is nice when you get to know her. But first impressions count on both sides.

TheatricalLife · 26/09/2025 22:00

It's a bloody rude message considering the OP has worked a shift and hasn't actually been paid (as agreed) for the time she has worked. I notice she hasn't messaged asking for the OPs bank details or mentioned arranging payment? I'm an employer and I can't imagine treating any potential employees (or my actual ones) like that. Massive red flag behaviour for me. If she hasn't got enough staff, or can't retain them, maybe there's your reason right there. If she's treating you like shit from the outset, imagine what she'll be like when you are actually employed. No thanks.

Original poster
CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 22:06

If she doesn’t reply by Monday I might text saying “do you still want to give me the job? Regards” 😅

OP posts:
Everyonceinawhile · 26/09/2025 22:07

CozyPumpkinSzn · 26/09/2025 17:12

I went for a trial shift a few days ago just at a little coffee shop. It’s over minimum wage and the day was ok but the manager was a bit abrupt. At the end of the shift she said to me “do you think you’ll come back?” So I said yes, I’m actually quite shy with new people and she mockingly responded “yeah” in a high pitched voice, almost teasing me as if to say you don’t seem keen.
she had got back to my application very quickly so I hadn’t had time to arrange childcare properly, I said at the end of the shift I would be in touch when I’d confirmed it was in place. This was only 4 days ago - I was going to email a list of my availability tonight.
i just got a text that read “hi. Do you not want the job anymore? Regards” that was it. No thanks for the trial shift, how did you find it. Am I reading too much into it or does that seem abrupt to you?
DH is on a good wage and I’m very fortunate I don’t NEED to work, it was just going to help a bit in the run up to Christmas.
opinions?

Give it a try, you don’t have to stay there very long if you don’t like it, you won’t be tied into a long contract…..anyway she owes you money

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