Son's dad powder coated his bike

[latishia6]

Pissed off is an understatement.

My son's dad didn't see him for years due to domestic abuse. He did a domestic abuse perp programme and now has access every other weekend overnight. In the community/hotel not at his house as he lives 3 hours away.

I bought my son a bike. It was £800 custom built and a gift for him completing his racing season and coming second. He's got another season coming up and he was growing out of his old bike.

His dad was taking him to his training last Saturday so I sent the bike with him. Has always been fine in the past.

Son comes home, dad tells me I'll need to pick the bike up in a few days because son wanted it a different colour and he's had it powder coated. Fuming.

Just been to collect it and it's bright green, the handlebars have been sprayed so the grips are now unsafe and moving around, and I'm just so pissed off.

They usually hold their value well as it's a very good brand. All branding has now been removed and it is now unsellable (well, I can't sell it as a branded bike when he grows out of it!). I'm going to have to buy new handlebars as the club chairman has looked at a photo and said they're not safe (don't spray handlebars!).

I actually don't know what to do with myself right now.

Whether or not the bike technically belongs to OP or her son is a really strange point to fixate on.

The point is, it DOESN'T belong to the ex who ruined it. Most likely out of spite.

OP, seems like the club chairman is your best bet so I hope they can help.

A "more sensible decision" was not to ruin an £800 bike so that it is unsafe to ride and has no resale value, in the first place. It could cost OP another £800 to replace. So it really doesn't matter to the OP whether it was a gift to an 8 year old or not. She will still end up paying.

I would be taking this up with the outfit that did the spraying. It was not ex’s property and they clearly made no attempt to ascertain who owned it.

Presumably he would have to sign a form for them to proceed?

Yes, she’s said that’s what she’s having to do.

It’s not. It’s clear that she’s the one that will have to buy the next size up and obviously people tend to sell the existing one. But aside from that, it’s clear the actual point is we’re talking about an abuse situation so being pedantic about this is…. well, yeah…

I have a feeling we have quite a few men commenting here.

No, says she’s having to replace the entire handlebar.

It’s clear that the son wanted this.

It’s hardly ruined. OP just can’t sell it on.

YANBU what a fucking dickhead

Are you reading the OP’s posts or just immediately jumping to the view advantageous to the father? The son is 8. He has only recent contact with his father because of past domestic abuse. Because of this it’s a complex dynamic where he wants to please the father. To be honest, you don’t really have to even read all of her posts to guess that this dynamic is likely although perhaps your motivation is coming from a different angle.

He absolutely shouldn't have resprayed the bike without permission, but it sounds more like a stupid mistake than anything malicious. He obviously thought he was doing something his son would like, presuming the bike belonged to his son. I doubt he thought it would cause damage. He's an idiot who didn't think it through. Hopefully OP can come to some sort of compromise with him in terms of compensation.

Pp need to read at least OP’s posts. This is an abusive man and they don’t change. He absolutely did this with malice aforethought in order to ruin something OP provided for her son, or more likely so that she is forced to pay full price for a new one, and so that OP and her son both think of him whenever they look at that bike. It’s malicious and controlling, and there’s not a chance of him compensating her.

Yep, plenty of people spend absolute fortunes on their kids activities. It might not be a bike but it's in clothing, equipment, fees, competition entries. Totally misses the point. Your ex is a dick and this is probably not what your son had in mind either, he's absolutely ruined his bike. What an arsehole of a man.

I very much doubt an 8 year old boy wanted a ruined, unusable bike. Come on to fuck.

People will make excuses for abusive men til they're blue in the face and ALWAYS hold adult men to a lower standard than almost anyone else in the world. Children are held to a higher standard than abusive men on here. Mental.

I really feel for you - particularly after reading this thread where so many people have no idea about biking.

My own children were competitive mountain bikers and you can be absolutely sure that respraying the bike will have hugely affected its resale value. Generally people are wary of resprays because it can hide underlying damage - and also the authentic version has the branding etc - it’s not just a case of a few stickers.

He definitely did it deliberately - it’s vandalism. I would send a message like the one suggested above politely informing him that he’ll need to cover the resale difference. I’d probably sell the bike now, as is, to demonstrate how much the value has fallen (not sure if you can cover a replacement though). The handlebars are probably easily fixed but it’s irrelevant because the respray has ruined it. Then I’d take him to small claims just on principle - otherwise he’ll do it time and again.

I’d also contact the garage too and pursue them.

I’m so sorry he has done this to you and sorry too that you’ve had to plough through loads of idiot posts who don’t understand the genuine damage he’s caused, both to the bike, and your mental health.

I hope your son enjoys his riding - my own children have had years of fun from it and you are doing brilliantly to support him succeeding in what he loves. Ultimately, that will shape who he becomes rather than his arsehole father.

Yep you’re right, even worse. And not even the point (I don’t mean you, I mean the person that made the comment that I was responding to.)

Is it clear that he wanted it?

The OP said:

He's 8. The bike was already green, but it's now lime green as his best friend has a lime green bike so he's obviously just gone along with it. He said his dad asked him and he said yes, but he's only 8, he didn't know any better and has a desperate need to keep his dad happy.

You would be able to get it brought back to factory, one of the dads at my kids school is an airbrush artist and regularly paints bikes for competition including logos etc. His shop is in Shropshire but I'm sure there's others

Get ex to pay either the cost of replacement or restoration

Of course people should ignore you. Your comments are pointless. Not a personal observation. Just a reasonable way if dealing with posters who are derailing the thread.

Edited to add - actually it was you.

I've spent about €1100 on activities for my 2 year old and over €2500 on activities for my 4 year old this year and by July all that will be left to show for it is memories and the skills they have acquired. £800 on a racing bike with resale value isn't that outrageous.

At least two other posters have also suggested sanding down the ends of the handlebars and fitting new grips, as a means of getting the bike roadworthy again. I’m struggling to understand why this advice is pointless.

Others have made the same suggestion.

Because when he outgrows this one he will need another. She’s got her sons best interests at heart here and that includes protecting the value of items he owns.

Because this isn’t the only or central problem. As the OP has continued to point out. The vandalism of the bike, the loss of resale value, the contemptuous treatment of OP and her son’s things which in fact rendered it unsafe, the loss of value which impacts OP’s ability to get the next level up for her son so he can continue the spirt are all much more important than “just fix the handlebars” which by the way, given the history of ongoing domestic violence in the relationship, is like telling a woman with a black eye to slap a little more makeup on and stop complaining.