Son's dad powder coated his bike

[latishia6]

Pissed off is an understatement.

My son's dad didn't see him for years due to domestic abuse. He did a domestic abuse perp programme and now has access every other weekend overnight. In the community/hotel not at his house as he lives 3 hours away.

I bought my son a bike. It was £800 custom built and a gift for him completing his racing season and coming second. He's got another season coming up and he was growing out of his old bike.

His dad was taking him to his training last Saturday so I sent the bike with him. Has always been fine in the past.

Son comes home, dad tells me I'll need to pick the bike up in a few days because son wanted it a different colour and he's had it powder coated. Fuming.

Just been to collect it and it's bright green, the handlebars have been sprayed so the grips are now unsafe and moving around, and I'm just so pissed off.

They usually hold their value well as it's a very good brand. All branding has now been removed and it is now unsellable (well, I can't sell it as a branded bike when he grows out of it!). I'm going to have to buy new handlebars as the club chairman has looked at a photo and said they're not safe (don't spray handlebars!).

I actually don't know what to do with myself right now.

Yes I think it's irrelevant because even if the handlebars are replaced the OP's property has still been damaged and the resale value has been drastically reduced. So changing the handlebars doesn't adequately compensate her for her loss.

I bought my son a bike. It was £800 custom built and a gift for him completing his racing season and coming second.

a little contradictory there Op

Honestly this is not the solution to the fact that my ex has absolutely vandalised an £800 bike that isn't his.

So this gift to your son that was “custom built” at a cost of £800

is now actually your bike?

I dunno tbh, i have never bought my DC anything and tried to keep it in a resale condition. It sounds like that’s what you are bothered about.

Not. The. Point.

🙄

It honestly is a solution, and it’s what I would do, at least in the short term, to restore the bike’s functionality for my son. It just so happens that you don’t like it.

Yes. He’s 8. Everything she buys him is technically her property, which is what she said. Why are you making multiple weird comments about that? What’s your point and how is it relevant to her post?

Of course she doesn't like having an expensive item of property vandalised. Are you quite alright?

I'm bothered about lots of things. One being that after years of domestic abuse he still does shit like this in order to make me feel two inches tall. I'm pissed off because he knew I wouldn't like it but it's also dragging my son into it. I'm pissed off that he's made the handlebars unsafe. I'm pissed off about the resale value of course, because when BMXers grow out of their bikes they sell their old ones to fund new ones, they hold their value well. I'm pissed off at myself for being too scared to raise it with him properly. So there are lots, and lots of things I'm upset about. I don't know how anyone can defend this.

You said that it was a custom built bike bought as a “gift” for your son

you then say actually your bike that he rides

Oh you’re kidding

is that what the op meant?! 🤭

Of course I don't bloody like it!!

It really isn’t. It addresses one aspect of the issue, on which you’ve decided to fixate. Not the issue as a whole.

Does it matter?

The relevant point here is that the bike was NOT her ex's property and so he had no right to do what he did.

I did say that, you're incredibly clever.

Your son stays in a hotel with him every other weekend?

Who said anything about liking what has been done? Aesthetics aside, it can be easily, and cheaply rectified so that the boy can keep cycling.

What are you scared of, exactly? What can this man do to you?

Oh I take back the clever comment.

Are you quite alright?

As I understand it, loose grips are the only issue preventing the bike being safely used. I’m not fixating on anything, simply suggesting a practical solution.

OK, so if you bought your daughter an 800 quid cream leather handbag for her birthday, and your abusive ex used shoe polish to turn it navy blue, would you just shrug and say, "Oh well, it's still functional"?

I somehow doubt it.

A better practical solution would be for the person/people who damaged it to pay for a replacement.