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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about the apparent acceptance of racism

151 replies

user1499291455 · 26/09/2025 09:42

I'm of indian heritage but born and raised in the UK and married to my white British husband. We have 3 children and I'm worried about racism towards them. I have had racism directed towards me when younger but it seemed to be getting better but now I'm being sucked into the rabbit hole of flags and alternative messages and people having p**i (edited by MNHQ) etc shouted at them by school children. I've always promoted how accepted we are and how this is our home and I feel so anxious and upset. I don't know what I'm expecting just feel sad overall.

OP posts:
DoinFineIThink · 26/09/2025 11:47

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:35

YADNBU.

Even on MN, I’ve been staggered at the amount of racism (and racist propaganda) on here recently. We suddenly have an influx of far right extremists from the US, and MN should be doing more to remove the deluge of racist, sexist and bigoted posts.

Completely agree, I've been here years and it's never been quite this bad.

BuckChuckets · 26/09/2025 11:49

olderandnonthewiser · 26/09/2025 11:32

I can assure you I’m neither. I’m just sensible enough to be able to separate the two and not allow myself to be caught up in the thinking than you have to be rascist to not welcome criminals.
perhaps you should stop and think a little more

You can 'assure me' all you like, I know exactly what your views are and I find them disgusting.

olderandnonthewiser · 26/09/2025 11:51

BuckChuckets · 26/09/2025 11:49

You can 'assure me' all you like, I know exactly what your views are and I find them disgusting.

Carry on with your mind reading; and the rest of your delusions.

CandleMug · 26/09/2025 11:52

CrispsPlease · 26/09/2025 10:04

I'm sorry you're experiencing these feelings and concerns. They're valid.

If it helps : I genuinely don't think most decent people have any objection whatsoever to different skin colours and hard working immigrants that contribute to our society and become our friends and families in some cases.

Unfortunately we do have a problem in this country with mass illegal immigration (sone people will swear until the death that these people are refugees: we must stop being blinkered and sticking our heels in: they're economic migrants ) it needs tackling for everyones sake - because unfortunately, innocent people of different heritages are getting caught in the cross fire. It's dangerous.

I feel that if we don't listen to the valid concerns regarding economic migrants en masse : racism and division will grow and breed and it will of course end up affecting innocents. Including British born people with different heritages.

I will add that the biggest problem we have in our area is from white eastern European migrants that live in a large "ghetto" in town that's pure filth. Large alcohol addiction and TB incidences and most of those are not working or contributing.

Conversely, we have amazing eastern European healthcare staff nursing these very people at our local hospital. I really do think that level headed people can see the difference and don't make it about race or "foreigner's". It's just remaining balanced and accepting we do need to sift the core problem out and tackle our over lenient laws on non beneficial immigration and go from there.

I find the left have lost all balance and will just shout "racist" at anyone that has concerns re: the above. Which breeds stamping feet and waving flags about.

Get the balance back : it's all that needed. From someone who loves our wonderful fellow immigrants of all nationalities that I work alongside daily, but also does not want mass African men turning up on our shores, leering at young girls and sticking their middle fingers up at us all by ripping up their documents. And no, it won't apply to my feeling on African drs etc funnily enough ! It's called realism !

Anyway, I'm so sorry you feel the way you do at the moment. My point it: we need to address the root cause so people like yourself are not unfairly and cruelly made to feel the way you do. It's unacceptable ❤️

Amazing, thoughtful post! 👏

TempestTost · 26/09/2025 11:54

HarrisonsHair · 26/09/2025 10:11

Their travel costs to hospital are paid for because they can't afford it themselves, the alternative is that they don't get medical treatment, is that what you want?
The government spend the minimum amount of money possible on housing asylum seekers, they are most definitely not living in luxury
I think it's naïve to think that it is not about the colour of people's skin. It seems to have become acceptable to be racist in some circles fueled by the daily mail etc and politicians, starting with Boris Johnson.
If my children weren't white I would be very worried for their safety.
It is really sad that this is happening

I think this is missing the point.

People are feeling very pinched in terms of their own finances. The government is broke.

So the question becomes, can we actually afford to do this? Can we afford to pay for these trips to the hospital when we can't afford basic services for citizens?

I see this in my job, I regularly have people at the local shelter spending most of their day where I work, just hanging out, waiting for the shelter to be open for the night. Some can't get housing because they are addicts, some because there is a shortage, some because prices are so high they can't afford anything.

And at the same time, every day we have new people coming in, looking for conversation classes, photocopying their immigration documents, and so on - all of them in some kind of housing.

There is no way this won't cause resentments and anger.

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:54

DoinFineIThink · 26/09/2025 11:47

Completely agree, I've been here years and it's never been quite this bad.

Many long-time posters have told me the same thing.

The majority of these US-based extreme right wing posters are also men. I wonder what has brought them here…

5128gap · 26/09/2025 11:58

I don't blame you OP. I've been shocked by what I've seen in the media and on here also in the last few weeks or so. My city is very diverse, and in my world, people of all ethnicities live peacefully together, with friendships and relationships that mix races and cultures. Obviously I'm aware of systemic racism, but in my naivety didn't realise there was so much hostility under the surface at a personal level. All I can say is that it's my hope and belief that normal decent people outnumber the racists, and its just that the racists are manipulating us to believe they have more support than they actually do.

hattie43 · 26/09/2025 12:01

There definitely feels like a shift change these days .

DoinFineIThink · 26/09/2025 12:03

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:54

Many long-time posters have told me the same thing.

The majority of these US-based extreme right wing posters are also men. I wonder what has brought them here…

Hmm, see whilst I agree with what you're saying, I don't necessarily agree that saying they're men is helpful. You see that a lot on the FWR board if anyone posts with a "different viewpoint", that they must be men as they don't agree with the majority.

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 12:04

DoinFineIThink · 26/09/2025 12:03

Hmm, see whilst I agree with what you're saying, I don't necessarily agree that saying they're men is helpful. You see that a lot on the FWR board if anyone posts with a "different viewpoint", that they must be men as they don't agree with the majority.

I am referring to the ones who state they are men, I’m not inferring.

IDontHateRainbows · 26/09/2025 12:07

LactoseTolerant · 26/09/2025 09:59

I dont know how representative mumsnet is of the wider public but we are still on the first page and we have already got people complaining about immigration rather than addressing the op's concerns. I mean how many signs do we need before we can say it's just a tiny racist minority thst we don't need to worry about?

Yes but the immigration issues are fuelling the recent rise in racism so of course people will comment on that, what are you the thread police?

2dogsandabudgie · 26/09/2025 12:20

user1499291455 · 26/09/2025 09:42

I'm of indian heritage but born and raised in the UK and married to my white British husband. We have 3 children and I'm worried about racism towards them. I have had racism directed towards me when younger but it seemed to be getting better but now I'm being sucked into the rabbit hole of flags and alternative messages and people having p**i (edited by MNHQ) etc shouted at them by school children. I've always promoted how accepted we are and how this is our home and I feel so anxious and upset. I don't know what I'm expecting just feel sad overall.

If your children are being called p**i [edited by MNHQ] at school then it needs to be reported. Schools should and do take racism seriously, normally it's a seclusionary offence.

2dogsandabudgie · 26/09/2025 12:31

Why has my post been deleted?

Ah I can see now.

User37482 · 26/09/2025 12:34

Toastea · 26/09/2025 10:46

Of course lack of affordable housing is an issue (and there isn't infinite space to build new housing on, either), but immigration isn't the origin of the problem and most immigrants won't be eligible for social or council housing. Other factors are involved: selling off social/council housing, second home ownership, private rental costs, etc..

Here are facts about immigration and housing:

migrationobservatory.ox.ac.uk/resources/briefings/migrants-and-housing-in-the-uk/

Private rents are expensive because a shortage of housing stock. Lots of people chasing limited stock. It’s the way any item we purchase works, the more scarcity the more expensive it is to obtain.

Either you go on a massive home building project to add stock or you reduce the numbers of people entering the country. Ideally a bit of both. Net migration was 430000 people last year. We have to find space for that many people year on year, second homes and social housing don’t even begin to cover it.

YelloDaisy · 26/09/2025 12:41

I feel it is being inflamed by the inability to discuss it without points raised against unfettered immigration being called racist. I suspect it could be bots.
You get it on here - someone starts a discussion about the boats/ immigration /lack of public services and there is an immediate response from many calling them racists -flag flyers etc
It was exactly the same with transgenderism - mention changing rooms/ women’s sport etc etc and a mass of posters would pile in with transphobic accusations

This in turn means original poster feels they must justify their comment.

And the fact that we are being gas lighted by those in power who won’t admit or accept there is a problem -prefer to threaten arrests etc - bound to cause a ruckus

CheerfulBunny · 26/09/2025 12:50

Sending you solidarity and love, OP xx
I'm horrified by this country and the people who are quite openly racist and fascist. It is completely unacceptable. I wish people would wake up and see how they're being manipulated by self-serving monsters like Farage et al. Sadly I fear too many are revelling in it and thoroughly enjoying themselves.

HarrisonsHair · 26/09/2025 12:52

TempestTost · 26/09/2025 11:54

I think this is missing the point.

People are feeling very pinched in terms of their own finances. The government is broke.

So the question becomes, can we actually afford to do this? Can we afford to pay for these trips to the hospital when we can't afford basic services for citizens?

I see this in my job, I regularly have people at the local shelter spending most of their day where I work, just hanging out, waiting for the shelter to be open for the night. Some can't get housing because they are addicts, some because there is a shortage, some because prices are so high they can't afford anything.

And at the same time, every day we have new people coming in, looking for conversation classes, photocopying their immigration documents, and so on - all of them in some kind of housing.

There is no way this won't cause resentments and anger.

We are one of the richest countries in the world and we take a low number of asylum seekers into the country compared with most other places.
The problem is that over the last decade or so the inequality between rich and poor has widened because of the choices the government made. Which has left many services etc in tatters and a lot of people struggling financially. On the other hand hundreds more people are now billionaires.
The current government is in a difficult position because they have to fix all the broken things and make up for the lack of funding.
None of this is immigrants fault. The last government decided that austerity was the way to fix things and that is on them. They then created this climate of blaming asylum seekers and immigration to shift the blame from themselves, it has worked.
Yes it is very wrong that people are not being housed adequately but whose fault is that?

TempestTost · 26/09/2025 12:54

LactoseTolerant · 26/09/2025 11:16

That's the problem isn't it? The whole world is becoming more right wing and intolerant. Dh and me often wonder where we could go (i mean if jobs, mortgage and uprooting the kids wouldn't be an issue) and I can't come up with anything. Sometimes we think New Zealand or maybe Scandinavia but they are becoming more right wing as well

I guess the only country I personally wouldn't face racism in is India. Not because India isn't racist or is more liberal or tolerant (it isn't..not anymore) but just because I'm the same colour as the majority of the population. If you are white you'd be ok in India as well. If you are black I wouldn't recommend it. It's a fucked up world, isn't it?

Scandinavia? Most of those countries have already prevented the kind of mass immigration that is happening in the UK because of the effects on social solidarity.

SO they have seen the same problems starting or coming down the line, and have done exactly what the government and many progressives in the UK say is a racist response.

Things have simmered down as a result, but it is strange to me that people want to go there when the state has taken the very steps that they won't accept here.

MsJinks · 26/09/2025 12:57

It’s obviously not ‘just asylum seekers’ is it - as the asylum seekers are in the hotels without rights/cash of an average person here - yet folk are abusing others just in the street when they massively and overwhelmingly are unlikely to be an actual asylum seeker.
It’s disgusting to my mind people started being personally aggressive to asylum seekers in hotels, but it was always going to spread once that became ‘ok’, as they cost (0.3%) or don’t speak English well enough, or whatever today’s excuse is.
Farage, heading the apparently respectable party of those opposed to immigration, also included many more people in his list of removal hopes than asylum seekers, which hardly helps security and encourages the loud mouthed dickhead racists that definitely walk amongst us.
OP - I believe there are many more decent people than there are horrible and aggressive racists - we need to be organised enough to get them to go back in the holes they crawled out of - it is a matter of ‘loud’ that makes it seem overwhelming, though unfortunately I think there is money pumped into algorithms on t’net which doesn’t help.
Many, many more people want to be nice, decent humans getting on with their lives and letting all these get on with theirs than don’t. Hope you can believe that, and hope you start to see it again soon when the rabble rousers are either shouted, or out ‘kinded’ back down. I know it’s not so nice now from some, and it must also be scary but please know NAPALT (not all people are like that!)

5128gap · 26/09/2025 12:57

IDontHateRainbows · 26/09/2025 12:07

Yes but the immigration issues are fuelling the recent rise in racism so of course people will comment on that, what are you the thread police?

I disagree. I think the immigration issues are serving to justify the racism of those who are already racist, but kept a lid in on it up until now because they knew decent people would shout them down.
What we have now is a blurring of the lines between proportionate and genuine concerns about immigration, and hostility and discrimination towards a group based on ethnicity.
Racists are using immigration concern as the soft sell, garnering agreement and using it to push ever more extreme views into the mainstream, then, when challenged slithering back to immigration as a smoke screen.
Immigration concerns are not turning decent people into racists. Because if you're a decent person you cannot be 'turned racist'.
This is a thread about the rise in racism and really shouldn't be linked to concerns about immigration just because racists are amongst the 'concerned'.

TempestTost · 26/09/2025 13:13

HarrisonsHair · 26/09/2025 12:52

We are one of the richest countries in the world and we take a low number of asylum seekers into the country compared with most other places.
The problem is that over the last decade or so the inequality between rich and poor has widened because of the choices the government made. Which has left many services etc in tatters and a lot of people struggling financially. On the other hand hundreds more people are now billionaires.
The current government is in a difficult position because they have to fix all the broken things and make up for the lack of funding.
None of this is immigrants fault. The last government decided that austerity was the way to fix things and that is on them. They then created this climate of blaming asylum seekers and immigration to shift the blame from themselves, it has worked.
Yes it is very wrong that people are not being housed adequately but whose fault is that?

Talking about being the richest country in the world is pretty irrelevant, even the rich will eventually run to the end of their money and the UK has done so ,This isn't a "last government" thing they have been scraping the bottom of the barrel since Blair at least, with governments propping things up by borrowing from private companies, selling of assets, and now there just isn't anywhere else to go.

And actually most other wealthy countries are facing the same things - their tax base is tapped out and they don't have enough to cover all the costs people would like to be covered. Whether you are talking about social housing or social medical care, or people having more money in their pockets and paying privately, there just isn't enough money for all the demands.

The wealthy are already paying a massive proportion of their earnings in taxes and asking for more will likely not result in much more return because they will either move away, or reduce their earnings. in the more socialist countries like the Nordic nations, it's the middle and lower middle classes who pay more taxes, but here those are the people who are already feeling the pinch and they simply won't put up with it.

The only real way to increase the tax base witll be increases in productivity but they haven't managed to crack that nut and so far there are no signs they will.

Of course it's not the fault of anyone who has come from elsewhere what the state of governance here is - no one thinks that and talk of "fault" is misplaced, and tbh I think it's manipulative language.

The matrial reality is that if there are 100 houses, 150 people looking for them, and then the state approves 20 new migrants to come and work, you now have 70 people out of a home rather than just 50. And the people who live here, are citizens, are thinking, wtf is going on that these other people are being given priority over me? That's not about social housing either, btw, it's about the fact that on the private market 100 homes will still not do the job for 170 families, and the more families that are competing the more scope landlords have to up rents or be picky about tenants. And who ends up suffering in these cases - the people with less money to spend, who tend to be more economically and socially vulnerable.

Accusing people of blaming migrants personally is just so massively tone deaf and disengaged from people's real lives, it's really no wonder it's fuelling racial and ethnic disharmony. But ultimately it's a class issue - it's the vulnerable who suffer when migration policies are unbalance, but the pmc typically benefits, so of course they want it. And shut up the vulnerable by accusing them of racism.

Well, now they can see what they've created. And the response, often, is just to feel superior. It's gross.

PiggyPigalle · 26/09/2025 13:13

White British, especially the English, are told and their children taught, that they caused all the problems in the World.
That's the other side of discrimination.

nomas · 26/09/2025 13:15

MidnightPatrol · 26/09/2025 09:43

I think you should focus on what you’re actually seeing in real life, vs what is apparently happening online…

I find online there is all sorts of hysteria (particularly on Twitter) which doesn’t seem to translate into real life.

Are you Asian? Because I can tell you it's not just online. It's ramping up on the streets.

nomas · 26/09/2025 13:17

millymollymoomoo · 26/09/2025 09:57

Racism works all ways. Asian people are racist too towards white oeiple, as are back people. It’s not fair to say it’s only white people who are racist.

all racism is wrong.

Feel better after hijacking OP's thread?

5128gap · 26/09/2025 13:27

PiggyPigalle · 26/09/2025 13:13

White British, especially the English, are told and their children taught, that they caused all the problems in the World.
That's the other side of discrimination.

Is it? Even supposing that this were true, can you provide any evidence that demonstrates white British people are being discriminated against because they are white British?

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