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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about the apparent acceptance of racism

151 replies

user1499291455 · 26/09/2025 09:42

I'm of indian heritage but born and raised in the UK and married to my white British husband. We have 3 children and I'm worried about racism towards them. I have had racism directed towards me when younger but it seemed to be getting better but now I'm being sucked into the rabbit hole of flags and alternative messages and people having p**i (edited by MNHQ) etc shouted at them by school children. I've always promoted how accepted we are and how this is our home and I feel so anxious and upset. I don't know what I'm expecting just feel sad overall.

OP posts:
PenelopeRadish · 26/09/2025 10:11

@LactoseTolerant where will you go? Is it somewhere that I could also move to without experiencing racism?!

If Reform win, heaven forbid, being white British with no entitlement to live elsewhere (sodding Brexit) I’m going to be stuck here and I cannot think of anywhere we can move to, that would have us.

So … Please also spare a thought for the non-racists!

I guess I will have to stay behind here and hope things don’t spiral down and down and down…

Toastea · 26/09/2025 10:11

Immigration is being used as a focus for legitimate anxiety and anger about the cost of living, the loss of public services, the scarcity of affordable housing, the difficulty in getting access to healthcare – all of which are very real, serious issues, but are not caused by immigration itself.

It's scapegoating and an effect of this is to seem to legitimise racist views, so racism is being expressed more openly and, possibly, increased.

HarrisonsHair · 26/09/2025 10:13

Toastea · 26/09/2025 10:11

Immigration is being used as a focus for legitimate anxiety and anger about the cost of living, the loss of public services, the scarcity of affordable housing, the difficulty in getting access to healthcare – all of which are very real, serious issues, but are not caused by immigration itself.

It's scapegoating and an effect of this is to seem to legitimise racist views, so racism is being expressed more openly and, possibly, increased.

This a thousand times, it's a shame that people are so easily manipulated

SeptemberNCing · 26/09/2025 10:16

I came across these two stories yesterday, the first absolutely horrific whilst the second shows how people turn a blind eye to it.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/sep/12/alleged-rape-sikh-woman-west-midlands-hate-crime

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn82vnz8vvgo.amp

For the first time, I’m scared living in the UK. The UK is my home yet I’m increasingly feeling unwelcome.

Zebedee999 · 26/09/2025 10:17

user1499291455 · 26/09/2025 09:42

I'm of indian heritage but born and raised in the UK and married to my white British husband. We have 3 children and I'm worried about racism towards them. I have had racism directed towards me when younger but it seemed to be getting better but now I'm being sucked into the rabbit hole of flags and alternative messages and people having p**i (edited by MNHQ) etc shouted at them by school children. I've always promoted how accepted we are and how this is our home and I feel so anxious and upset. I don't know what I'm expecting just feel sad overall.

The justice system right now is riddled with racism. Just this week a muslim man who attacked a man with a knife and kicked him got NO jail time. Just try that as a white person! Two tier justice where whites and BAME get different justice is absolutely rife. You are right to highlight racism in the UK, especially the anti white racist justice system.

Toastea · 26/09/2025 10:20

Zebedee999 · 26/09/2025 10:17

The justice system right now is riddled with racism. Just this week a muslim man who attacked a man with a knife and kicked him got NO jail time. Just try that as a white person! Two tier justice where whites and BAME get different justice is absolutely rife. You are right to highlight racism in the UK, especially the anti white racist justice system.

There was a thread about this exact news story here the other day, where there are links to multiple examples of white people being spared jail sentences for knife attacks, too, so it seems to be about leniency towards knife crime, or lack of space in prisons, rather than race.

Radiatorvalves · 26/09/2025 10:23

i know an Asian women in her 50s. She’s a very well spoken lawyer. She was recently in a country pub having a drink and was accused of being an illegal immigrant. No one said anything or challenged the man. It’s dreadful. Problem is that people believe the crap they read in the daily mail or on social media and feel emboldened.

User37482 · 26/09/2025 10:23

Toastea · 26/09/2025 10:11

Immigration is being used as a focus for legitimate anxiety and anger about the cost of living, the loss of public services, the scarcity of affordable housing, the difficulty in getting access to healthcare – all of which are very real, serious issues, but are not caused by immigration itself.

It's scapegoating and an effect of this is to seem to legitimise racist views, so racism is being expressed more openly and, possibly, increased.

Oh come on, of course big net inflows of people affect housing scarcity, we don’t build enough or fast enough. If you have massive movements of people into any place, any country, anywhere, housing will become more dear. Theres been a massive movement of people into Dubai, rents have got pretty bloody expensive (I know people who live there) over a short period of time.

Supply and demand are a real thing, people don’t become magically housed.

I’m not happy about the racism but pretending that there is no impact is just silly. If you think the answer is to tax working people more to provide more services to a rapidly expanding population then say so.

User37482 · 26/09/2025 10:25

Toastea · 26/09/2025 10:20

There was a thread about this exact news story here the other day, where there are links to multiple examples of white people being spared jail sentences for knife attacks, too, so it seems to be about leniency towards knife crime, or lack of space in prisons, rather than race.

The guy who burned the Koran managed to get a sentence, extraordinary that we have space in jails for that but not people waving knives at other people. It’s completely mad imo.

DancefloorAcrobatics · 26/09/2025 10:32

Immigration is being used as a focus for legitimate anxiety and anger about the cost of living, the loss of public services, the scarcity of affordable housing, the difficulty in getting access to healthcare – all of which are very real, serious issues, but are not caused by immigration itself

^This, because successive governments have not increased spending on services in line with population growth. Now spending will have to increase tenfold to make up the shortfall rather than a slow & steady increase overa longer time. Not popular, so a scapegoat is needed!

Zebedee999 · 26/09/2025 10:33

Toastea · 26/09/2025 10:20

There was a thread about this exact news story here the other day, where there are links to multiple examples of white people being spared jail sentences for knife attacks, too, so it seems to be about leniency towards knife crime, or lack of space in prisons, rather than race.

In which case I am wrong and that leniency is appalling. Thank you for correcting me.

OneMintWasp · 26/09/2025 10:37

I think there is a worrying trend for anyone who dares to speak out against these people finding themselves being abused. I myself wouldn't think twice to defend others against racism either online of if I witnessed it in person. Now I am nervous to speak out as there are so many nasty racists who attack you for this. Ironically they bang on about free speech but abuse anyone who speaks out against them. Having written this down and read it out I vow to continue calling out racism as my way of ensuring they dont win and this doesn't become the norm.

Swiftie1878 · 26/09/2025 10:38

olderandnonthewiser · 26/09/2025 09:47

I think there’s a lot of confusion about racism and immigration. I don’t care what colour anyone’s skin is, or where they come from. But I do care that we have thousands of immigrants coming illegally.

I agree with this. Please try not to be overwhelmed by what must feel very frightening at times. There is a difference between anti-illegal immigration campaigns and people being racist.
Sending hugs 🩵🩵

Toastea · 26/09/2025 10:46

User37482 · 26/09/2025 10:23

Oh come on, of course big net inflows of people affect housing scarcity, we don’t build enough or fast enough. If you have massive movements of people into any place, any country, anywhere, housing will become more dear. Theres been a massive movement of people into Dubai, rents have got pretty bloody expensive (I know people who live there) over a short period of time.

Supply and demand are a real thing, people don’t become magically housed.

I’m not happy about the racism but pretending that there is no impact is just silly. If you think the answer is to tax working people more to provide more services to a rapidly expanding population then say so.

Of course lack of affordable housing is an issue (and there isn't infinite space to build new housing on, either), but immigration isn't the origin of the problem and most immigrants won't be eligible for social or council housing. Other factors are involved: selling off social/council housing, second home ownership, private rental costs, etc..

Here are facts about immigration and housing:

migrationobservatory.ox.ac.uk/resources/briefings/migrants-and-housing-in-the-uk/

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/09/2025 10:47

user1499291455 · 26/09/2025 09:42

I'm of indian heritage but born and raised in the UK and married to my white British husband. We have 3 children and I'm worried about racism towards them. I have had racism directed towards me when younger but it seemed to be getting better but now I'm being sucked into the rabbit hole of flags and alternative messages and people having p**i (edited by MNHQ) etc shouted at them by school children. I've always promoted how accepted we are and how this is our home and I feel so anxious and upset. I don't know what I'm expecting just feel sad overall.

Listening to the Mayor of London speaking on LBC atm, I can understand completely how you are feeling. A listener, Sarah, has literally just said that there are too many black and brown people “here” now and they should go back where they came from.
I had honestly thought until relatively recently that our society had moved on from this idiocy decades ago.
He was incredibly polite in his reply, told her that he was born in Tooting and asked where was it that she would like him to go?
All I can say, OP, is that the majority of people in the UK don’t share these hideous views, though what’s happening in England in particular right now is clearly alarming.
However, watching Question Time last night from the West Midlands, I was much heartened to see the audiences’ reaction to Richard Tice: he was deservedly given very short shrift by the overwhelming majority of them as he attempted to peddle his BS and lies. Lisa Nandy, Munira Wilson and Billy Bragg did an excellent job of calling him out (Bragg pointing out that he was wearing his union flag badge upside down).
Gave me hope that voters are finally beginning to wake up, possibly as they look at the madness across the Atlantic.
So very sorry that you have been made to feel this way.

SumUp · 26/09/2025 10:48

@user1499291455 I hear you. 💐

‘But immigration’ arguments should not come into it. This thread is about experiences of racism.

My experience is that many people are horrified about the rise in racism, but are unsure of how to express their support or offer reassurance.

I make sure I keep in touch with all my friends who are in the same situation as you, to reassure them that I cherish the friendship and to empathise as needed. It isn’t a big commitment - mostly WhatsApp. These days I set some time on Friday evening aside and the result has been that I see more of a couple of friends: it’s been nice.

I directed the management at my company to put out a statement emphasising our EDI policy and that racism will not be tolerated. Anyone in a workplace could suggest something similar.

It sounds inadequate when I write it down but my hope is that if other people are also doing similar things too, people who are most affected will feel more supported by their wider communities.

flyingsquirrelsagogo · 26/09/2025 10:58

SumUp · 26/09/2025 10:48

@user1499291455 I hear you. 💐

‘But immigration’ arguments should not come into it. This thread is about experiences of racism.

My experience is that many people are horrified about the rise in racism, but are unsure of how to express their support or offer reassurance.

I make sure I keep in touch with all my friends who are in the same situation as you, to reassure them that I cherish the friendship and to empathise as needed. It isn’t a big commitment - mostly WhatsApp. These days I set some time on Friday evening aside and the result has been that I see more of a couple of friends: it’s been nice.

I directed the management at my company to put out a statement emphasising our EDI policy and that racism will not be tolerated. Anyone in a workplace could suggest something similar.

It sounds inadequate when I write it down but my hope is that if other people are also doing similar things too, people who are most affected will feel more supported by their wider communities.

This. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way OP, it’s a horrible time at the moment.
Those posters who are trying to legitimise it by saying “but immigration…” should be ashamed of themselves. Just show some empathy for gods sake. As for racism against white people, well I despair.

BuckChuckets · 26/09/2025 11:05

olderandnonthewiser · 26/09/2025 09:47

I think there’s a lot of confusion about racism and immigration. I don’t care what colour anyone’s skin is, or where they come from. But I do care that we have thousands of immigrants coming illegally.

You're either a bit dim, or being faux innocent - "who ME, racist? Oh no!". I'm hoping it's the former.

LactoseTolerant · 26/09/2025 11:08

Swiftie1878 · 26/09/2025 10:38

I agree with this. Please try not to be overwhelmed by what must feel very frightening at times. There is a difference between anti-illegal immigration campaigns and people being racist.
Sending hugs 🩵🩵

I'm sorry but if you think that racism and the campaigns we have seen that claim to be solely about illegal immigration then you are being either very naive or very dismissive.

Illegal immigration is tiny compared to legal immigration and without (large) legal immigration the economy wouldn't survive. So one isn't a problem and the other one is necessary. Also, we have seen this week how reform's narrative has shifted from illegal to legal migrants. I am sure eventually Labour will come up with their own version of this because they are terrified of losing voters to reform. And I dont trust the British public to be able to tell the difference between an illegal and a legal migrant when me or my family are out and about. And frankly I don't want to live in a society that is so hostile and intolerant even if it is not directed against me personally.

As a child I had stones thrown at me accompanied by chants of "pakis out". Like the op i thought things had improved since rhen but since 2010 it just seems to be getting worse again. I'd never want my children to experience this.

LactoseTolerant · 26/09/2025 11:16

PenelopeRadish · 26/09/2025 10:11

@LactoseTolerant where will you go? Is it somewhere that I could also move to without experiencing racism?!

If Reform win, heaven forbid, being white British with no entitlement to live elsewhere (sodding Brexit) I’m going to be stuck here and I cannot think of anywhere we can move to, that would have us.

So … Please also spare a thought for the non-racists!

I guess I will have to stay behind here and hope things don’t spiral down and down and down…

That's the problem isn't it? The whole world is becoming more right wing and intolerant. Dh and me often wonder where we could go (i mean if jobs, mortgage and uprooting the kids wouldn't be an issue) and I can't come up with anything. Sometimes we think New Zealand or maybe Scandinavia but they are becoming more right wing as well

I guess the only country I personally wouldn't face racism in is India. Not because India isn't racist or is more liberal or tolerant (it isn't..not anymore) but just because I'm the same colour as the majority of the population. If you are white you'd be ok in India as well. If you are black I wouldn't recommend it. It's a fucked up world, isn't it?

GoodTimesNoodleSalad · 26/09/2025 11:22

Zebedee999 · 26/09/2025 10:17

The justice system right now is riddled with racism. Just this week a muslim man who attacked a man with a knife and kicked him got NO jail time. Just try that as a white person! Two tier justice where whites and BAME get different justice is absolutely rife. You are right to highlight racism in the UK, especially the anti white racist justice system.

Completely agree.

olderandnonthewiser · 26/09/2025 11:32

BuckChuckets · 26/09/2025 11:05

You're either a bit dim, or being faux innocent - "who ME, racist? Oh no!". I'm hoping it's the former.

I can assure you I’m neither. I’m just sensible enough to be able to separate the two and not allow myself to be caught up in the thinking than you have to be rascist to not welcome criminals.
perhaps you should stop and think a little more

Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 11:35

YADNBU.

Even on MN, I’ve been staggered at the amount of racism (and racist propaganda) on here recently. We suddenly have an influx of far right extremists from the US, and MN should be doing more to remove the deluge of racist, sexist and bigoted posts.

TempestTost · 26/09/2025 11:46

I do think there has been an increase in open racism, but I think this is mostly down to the imported American style race politics and the way the left has embraced this. The same thing is happening in the US.

On the one hand there is the immigration question, and then added to this is a lot of new messaging that is very contradictory to the way issues around racism were treated in my youth. Which was, we are all human beings with a cultural and family background, some shared and some not, race is in itself not something we should be using to give or take away privileges or status, with a fairly broad approach to history and understanding of human shittiness.

Instead now there is what the Americans call "antiracism" as practised by people like Ibram Kendi, who says that the remedy for past racism is current racism, or that silly woman who says that "whiteness" is something that needs to be repudiated and destroyed. Weird stuff like what happened at Evergreen college. Lots of focus on "decolonising" which is often completely meaningless.

Even my kids who are fairly "woke" say that they think that it's being so emphasised in school that some kids, particularly the boys who want to rebel, and latching on to it simply because it seems like the main thing that the authority figures care about and are constantly talking about. Even among their friends it's become something they seem a little cynical about, which is totally understandable but I can't see it as really positive.

And the worst element of it, imo, is that to a large degree this seems to be a kind of proxy class war - it is middle class professionals, of all races, using it all as a stick to beat working class and poor people for having the wrong kinds of interests, language, and political concerns - like the effects of mass immigration on wages and services. Some people on the receiving end of this see what's going on and react to it for what it is, rather than thinking it's really about all that other shit. But the fact is that a lot interpret it as being just what it appears to be, a heightening of racial rhetoric, and an attack on who they are culturally and ethnically, and that's how they respond too.

Lots of people saw this for what it was when it started, and pointed out it all ultimately would play into the hands of race essentialists and old school racists, but the stupid middle class progressive left were as idiotically blind as they have been with gender ideology. (which is another version of the same thing.)

I understand why your worried OP. I think the best thing to do is not to get caught up in the proxy war, instead, fight against it at its roots.

DoinFineIThink · 26/09/2025 11:46

I feel that if we don't listen to the valid concerns regarding economic migrants en masse : racism and division will grow and breed and it will of course end up affecting innocents.

Racism is already affecting innocents.

Two bailed over 'racial assault' in Manor Heath Park, Halifax - BBC News https://share.google/Y0qWuvrZ5OT9Ya37s

Just one example.
What are they basing that someone must be a target for abuse/harassment on? Skin colour, of course it is. As how would you know if they were "illegal" just by looking at someone. 🙄

A grand entrance to a park with a sign to the right that reads: Manor Heath Car Park. There are trees and stone buildings and a road leading between stone pillars.

Two bailed over 'racial assault' in Manor Heath Park, Halifax - BBC News

Police are investigating claims a woman and child were subjected to racial abuse in a Halifax park.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx27xj85y5lo.amp