To think that you can absolutely buy consent

[TheNewWasp]

Unfortunately, we have a constant influx of threads of posters that have caught their spouses having lap dances or spending money on a sexual worker.
Regardless of how hurting this may be, I can't understand why many posters argue that "you can't buy consent".
Not sure if the assumption is that every sexual worker/prostitute is being forced to do that activity. Many do, that is the sad reality, but not all of them.
In fact, we have the occasional poster that said they used to work as a stripper and they used to make fun of their customers but in the end it was just a way of making good money. Was not this person selling their consent for an interaction that otherwise would have not happened?

I agree with you! Sorry, I should have linked to this:

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motte-and-bailey_fallacy

Ah ok! That's nice to hear, so many on this thread refuse to believe a woman can consent to sex transactionally, wonder what they would say about sugar daddy/ baby arrangements.

Oh, come on. You can't be suggesting that women who think prostitution's bad for people would be in favour of 'sugar daddy' arrangements!

That's not my question

The question is, can a woman consent to such an arrangement

REGARDLESS of whether ypu personally are in favour of such a thing

The recent book Wink Wink Nudge Nudge by Brooke Urich makes the world of sugar babies sound very exploitative

. I guess sugar babies open a can of worms about whether women who marry for gold-digging purposes are consenting...?

@blueliner, I agree somewhat but I do think this is stripping women of their agency a bit. Men earn more mainly because they tend to gravitate to higher-paid jobs, work longer hours & take fewer career breaks. Obvs it's hard to combine thus satisfactorily with kids but I don't think acting as if only men have the power to change the situation is very helpful.

Men holding the majority of positions of power- I'd give same reply as above. Also, this IS changing.

Women spending more on their appearance- can't we control that? Do you mean that you think we HAVE to to get boyfriends and be treated well in the workplace? True somewhat, but is that a status quo to be content with? I've seen women on here say it's not fair to split the bill bc they spend so much on their appearance. But IS it necessary? Are men demanding this?

Surely putting so much money into appearance plays into objectification?

There are really two questions here which keep being conflated and confused.

One is as a general concept whether consent can be bought, and of course it absolutely can. Otherwise all work would be slavery. It can even be bought when the person selling it hasn't really got any other options due to their own circumstances (ie poverty, as opposed to external coercion). Once again, I give you work, especially low-waged work.

The second question is whether prostitution is so harmful to women/society as to necessitate it being banned, aka the government forbidding the consensual sale of sexual services.

While that is an interesting debate in itself, it has no connection to the first question, which is the topic of this thread.

Choice is complicated: https://x.com/nordicmodelnow/status/1972919916949856527

https://nordicmodelnow.org/facts-about-prostitution/fact-choice-is-complicated/

Thanks for the point-missing mansplain.