To think a very high percentage of people are Neuro divergent?

[Marshmallow4545]

I have just spoken to yet another friend who suspects that they may be Neurodivergent. They are not interested in seeking a diagnosis for various reasons but this means they will never be picked up in the statistics. Anecdotally, this isn't unusual amongst my friendship circle and I now suspect that a very large percentage of the population believe they may be ND even if they have no diagnosis and have never seen a professional about this. So out of interest please vote:

YABU: if you think you are Neurotypical
YANBU: if you believe you are Neurodivergent, even if you don't have a diagnosis

But so many women in the past have been high masking, that most had no idea they were like other ND people.... and assumed they were alone in their struggles..... so do feel differently to other people.... because most of the ND girls are also pretending to manage amd most people just want to fit in don't they, especially when their growing up

I agree with this. There isn't much space in everyday life anymore.

We have tried to restructure our family life to make more space. For instance, we don't do homework in the house anymore, apart from reading and spellings. Homework is done before we get home, even if we have to sit in the car, and then tucked into the bag for the next day.

But it's difficult when there are so many demands on kids and parents.

The thing I dislike about the current hyperfocus on it, is it leads to quite a lot of othering, rather than acceptance.

When every person is saying they think Sandra is ADHD and George is "on the spectrum", the speculation and armchair diagnosis, is actually quite offensive.

I'm not sure binary 'yes/no' answers can yield any meaningful information on this, tbh, as different people are neurodivergent in different ways. It's points on a spectrum imho.

A friend who is a primary school headteacher says that in some year groups now more than half of kids have a diagnosis of something neurodivergent.

that’s either massive over diagnosis or we are pathologising normal human behaviour

If the majority are divergent then aren't they the norm?

I fear statistical research and analysis is not your strong point OP!

It is possible 😅

So many women in the past have been high masking, that most had no idea they were like other ND people ( because most were masking trying to fit in and didnt know others were masking ) .... and assumed they were alone in their struggles..... so do feel differently to other people.... because most of the ND girls were pretending to be NT and most people just want to fit in don't they, especially when their growing up

The fact there's so many late diagnosed women who say how alone they felt growing up, despite having friends ect shows how many ND people there were, pretending to be NT

I know more people who identify as or who have been diagnosed as ND than not. ND doesn’t just incorporate autism and ADHD but other things like dyslexia, dyspraxia, OCD etc so it’s a very large umbrella.

I would be surprised it only 20% of the population are ND

Why do you say that? Have I ever suggested that this was definitive proof? Do you think only 20% of people are ND?

Often it's having children that completely upsets the apple cart. Women manage to balance everything relatively successfully until kids come along and add in a whole new level of stress, noise, mess and complexity, and obliterate any down-time they had to recover.

Indeed, they may well be. I guess the next question would be what does this mean for us as a society?

That until recently everyone must have been managing just fine before people needed labels?

But we are largely told that ND is binary. You are either Autistic for example or not Autistic and any insinuation that everyone is on a ND spectrum is considered offensive.

I think you still get concentrations in professions/groups/hobbies or the ones in the groups find each other so it will often feel higher due to that.

I also think the modern environment - especially in schools - is driving more people to find out - canaries in the coal mine - where once they'd have stuggled on or coped better.

I also wonder if it's not just picking up more cases with better understanding on different presentations but also if older parenthood or other factors are driving an actual rise - but have no data for that.

I haven't read the whole thread, so apologies.

dd was diagnosed as autistic at age 16. She is very clever and academically has always done well, and likes to please teachers so right up until she was 15/16 she coped. School couldn't see anything wrong even though all the signs were there in terms of social skill and friendships, and rigidity around routine and so on. Then the pressure of GCSE's pulled the mask right off and she crashed badly.
I had suspected she was on the spectrum for a while, but it wasn't until we did her diagnosis and I listed all the things that I really saw how much she was struggling with real life.

She has 2 cousins who are also on the spectrum. In the light of their diagnoses my dh's familiy have all been looking at themselves and their parents and wondering who else.
The thing is they all have loads of traits. My FIL was one of 10 and when I look at the aunties and uncles now I laugh that we didn't see it. All 10 of them are probably autistic to some degree.

But they all have lived successful lives, holding down jobs and marriages, and raising kids. They chose hobbies and lifetsyles that suited them and generally their daily lives have not been massively impacted.
Would they have got a diagnosis today? I don't know.

My dh is now curious about how his traits and personality mix, and if he is actually autistic or just has traits. My SIL was badly burnt out and had a lot of stress related illness when her kids were small, and looking at that now, and at her, it is likely that that was autistic burn out, but she doesn't yet have a diagnosis (although she is persuing one)

My older dd also thinks that they are ND, more likely to be ADHD than autism.
But only younger dd was affected enough that she crashed at school and struggled to do GCSE. Now doing A levels, she needs masses of support.

So if the criteria is that it has to have an adverse effect on daily life, then only dd and her 2 cousins qualify. If we are talking about traits, then the whole family is riddled with them.

I wonder again if it's societal changes.

Lack of wider support for parents that used to be more common, greater demands on parents including higher expectataions of parental involvement in primary school years and more general supervision requirmenets - and more need to also be economically active - and in some case being full time and still struggling for money - means more mothers that used to manage in decades past just can't.

I don't personally like the terms and would be more comfortable with a Aspergers/Autism split and both discussed as a behavioural conditions rather than using terms like 'Neurodiverse'. This seems overally broad a term as there are many neurological diseases.

I know Aspergers has long disappeared from the ICD and DSM but I would prefer to have a behavioural term to cover 'high functioning autism'.

Personally I would feel more comfortable with my own quirks if it was done in this way. Also better testing and research of course.

We have many family members with ADD and Autism. It's also obvious in the older family members as well and most aren't bothering with a diagnosis as it doesn't add anything to their lives and they understand themselves.

My feeling is that it was a mistake to go away from the Aspergers Syndrome diagnosis which some of the older family members had and replace it with an Autistic spectrum one. This feels like too large a group.

In my family I am also noticing increased 'spontaneous' mutations in our DNA causing other disabilities being diagnosed in the 1-45 year old age group. The ADD is getting more noticeable in children and although the austism/ aspergers isn't getting any worse it's getting more common for us.

I suspect I may be somewhat ND.

After some research though, I personally relate more to being an HSP.

Either way, I did well at school, had decent friends, a brilliant career and now enjoying the slower pace of being a SAHM. So whether I’m ND or HSP, it’s never impacted me in life and I’ve managed well with my parents and friends support, I don’t feel a diagnosis would have helped me in any way other than making me feel self conscious about a label.

Thats just my personal experience though. I imagine there are others like me, just as there are plenty of others who do need support.

I honestly think there is no such thing as neurotypical, everyone has their different quirks and issues and most people mask to a certain extent

No. And if a very large percentage of people were neurodivergent, there wouldn't be any norms for them all to diverge from.

Social media has produced a high percentage of users who have read simplified lists of characteristics of ADHD and autism (of the Asperger's type) and have diagnosed themselves with 'neurodiversity'. I don't like phone calls and can't stand the feel of flannel so I'm probably autistic. Ooh I can never remember where my keys are, that's the ADHD.

They're fond of diagnosing other people (not themselves obvs) with major psychiatric conditions like narcissistic personality disorder (popular one for ex-boyfriends).

And they have added a bunch of pop psych 'personality types' to identify as - shoutout to all the introverts and empaths. People used to just say 'Oh I'm a typical Taurus me.'

Then they all cluster together on social media to talk about themselves instead of getting out in the fresh air, giving the impression that every other person is now 'neurodiverse'.

But could it also be that NT is actually not the norm and it is normal to some extent to be ND

This is exactly what I think as well!

Very well said ! and I’m sure aligns with a lot of peoples thinking

I think diagnosis of neurodivergence is often used as an excuse rather than a tool for people to help themselves.

And now that we have normalised and, in some cases, more than normalised neurodiversity, people choose to think of themselves as ND as opposed to chaotic (ADHD), stroppy (ODD) or fussy (ASD).

It is also a really good excuse not to try and improve things like disorganisation and rudeness.

That isn’t to say that people and their families aren’t having a really tough time suffering from neurodiversity at the extremes of the spectrum.

But the explosion of diagnoses in schools (and especially private schools) is often driven by parents preferring to think of their children as interesting rather than having issues.

Well you are suggesting your little survey means something.It doesn’t.Andas others have said a majority can’t be divergent