Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

Unlike someone else’s photo which you have seen, I had a car seat in 1980s and into the 1990s and currently use a car seat for DGC. So practical working knowledge of both, which you don’t have.

Why are you challenging anyone ? P&C bays are a courtesy and not legally enforceable - disabled bays are protected by law and you’ll get fined for parking in one without a blue badge.

In some car parks the P&C spaces are nearer the supermarket entrance than the disabled bays - that’s the only scenario l can think of in which a disabled person would park in a P&C space if the disabled bays were free. And your remarks about the person are ableist to say the least. If he has a blue badge, he will have been examined or produced sufficient evidence to support the issue of the badge so who are you to question it ?

I meant rear facing car seats or pre-booster car seats - I should have been more specific.

My 8 year is just in standard forward facing high back booster, so no challenges at all with him getting and out of it in a standard car parking space.

You sound incredibly ignorant - and entitled.

Did someone piss in your cereal? Of course I knew, eejit

Hi OP. For what it’s worth I agree with you but there are some very selfish and rude people in the world. You just have to keep being a decent person, try not to lower yourself to their standards. It’s hard, I know!

Was the child still in a booster seat? Our 7 year old is tall so someone without experience with children could probably mistake her for around 10, but she still needs me to lean in to clip and tighten the seat belt.

She wasn't being ignorant. She was wrestling with a 3 month old in a car seat, and probably trying to put it onto a pushchair and the other driver expected her to shift all if that out if the way so she could park.It doesnt matter how mobile the child was in the other car, she could have waited 30 seconds for OP to finish. And if the older child had issues, then maybe they need a blue badge..

You are spot on. The other person very inconsiderate. These spaces get used by lazy adults, taxi drivers, people with older kids that do not need them etc.
Yet 50% of those that voted here think all this is fine.

They are just marketing ploys. Never existed when we had our kids and we managed fine with multiple kids across different ages/stages, as did everyone else. Now they exist, supposedly people just can’t manage without them!

I think the disregard for others works both ways though. I’m disabled and a blue badge holder. I don’t know whether Covid has changed our perspective on things or maybe we’ve all got a bit more entitled as a result, but it seems that since Covid l’m challenged a lot more when parking in blue badge spaces, just as l was challenged during Covid because l was exempt from wearing a mask - even though l had a bright yellow lanyard to denote exemption. I have friends who have badges and they feel the same. Something has changed and people feel more entitled to police various things.

The guidelines on the use of the badge state that it shouldn’t be left in the car when not needed, and shouldn’t be displayed until it needs to be, so it lives in my handbag.

More and more, l pull into parking spaces and before l can even get the badge out someone is rapping on the window to tell me l’m in a disabled space without a badge. And when l show them l have one you have no idea of the number of people who feel entitled to ask to see or handle it, and ask me why l have it - usually preceded by the usual ‘you don’t look very disabled’. Which l don’t when sitting behind the wheel of the car. But if people wait a few minutes before rushing over to berate me they would see the winch atop my car depositing my wheelchair next to the drivers’ door.

if l am challenged on a regular basis like this, l can only imagine how people with hidden or not so obvious disabilities must feel. So no, l don’t feel it’s right to challenge in these situations. If someone has a valid blue badge then they are entitled to park according to the rights conferred by that badge, and that’s all any onlooker needs to know. They have no right to see or handle the badge or ask anything about the holders’ right to it, or, as is happening more and more, enquire as to what condition ‘qualifies’ them. If the motive is truly making sure the spaces are not being abused, there is a serial number on the badge with which anyone can report suspected misuse, and the LA will follow up if needed. There’s absolutely no need to challenge.

I think this is a bit OTT. I think sometimes people with very young children almost don’t see older children as children. Their baby and toddler are not the only ones with needs.

I think the second person parking was rude obviously and should have waited but I don’t think it merits a huge conversation about age cut-offs. It’s a bit akin to asking if a disabled person is disabled enough. If they have a badge displayed it’s not for anyone to question it.

They are parent & child spaces, not parent & baby spaces.

Kids older than toddlers do still tend to run off & those spaces are nearer the shop so that helps with that. I’d assume whatever body/business that put parent & child in places thought about what to call them.

It's no biggie is it really.

Just a minor inconvienience.

@seize

Was it a wide space? Parent and child normally have extra space - so I think it is possible just to close the door a little to let the other car in - but still get your child in.

I don’t think you can make a visual assessment of needs. If it’s within guidelines, then it’s within guidelines for the other car to use - despite how much less needy then may look that you. The exchange was unnecessary tho.

So was the kid. Who would allow that? Entitled bastards

It doesn't matter whether they needed the space or not, they were the ignorant ones for asking you to prioritise their convenience over your own, when you were struggling to get a small baby safely into a car seat.

Have a day off. I have a blue badge because im autistic and also urinary incontinent. I can physically walk and lift things but I need wide spaces so I'm not overwhelmed, DS needs wide spaces for his disability pushchair which is significantly bigger than a normal pushchair even though he can walk, because he's a flight risk.

Some of us who can walk leave the disabled bays for people who have access needs like wheelchairs and ramps.

People like my DP who ruptured his patellar tendon and had ongoing complications just has to park in the closest available spot whether thats blue badge or p&c because he has significant pain and mobility issues.

P&c spots aren't legally protected. Stop judging someone's disability based on what you see.

I was a was baffled with we parked in “mother and baby”, “DD is 3” - not a baby.

I stopped using them quite early as it was less stressful than getting annoyed by all the people abusing them.

I only reverted to sarcasm once when someone got out of the car with their late teen - I commented that "your daughter's a bit old to call herself a child" and they ignored me.

Blimey.

FFS, I really can't get over the OP and her attitude towards those who (quite rightly) use the P & C spaces. 🙄

God help the teachers when your kids start school.........

I've said for ages that Mother & Baby parking should have badges to show you can park there. If they were just supplied like parking permits where you could get one when you had a new baby that would last so many years until out of date. And enforceable too. In an ideal world people just wouldn't use a Mother & Child space if they didn't have a child but we do know that the most important person in the world is the inconsiderate w@*"%r who has parked in one when they shouldn't!

I wouldn’t park in a mother & baby/child space without a child, but they are not a necessity in the same way as disabled spaces are. Having to squeeze between a car to put a baby in or walk a bit further to a shop isn’t comparable with getting a wheelchair out of a car.

My 74 old mother has had multiple hip replacements, a hysterectomy and two similar mesh procedures. And now it seems her knee is going. She walks with a crutch. And they are clamping down on blue badges so she is stressed hers isn’t going to be renewed. And the means the difference between her going out or not, because if they thought of going somewhere stresses her too much she won’t go. She is constantly worried about falling.

Having a baby isn’t even vaguely comparable to that. Mother a baby spaces are a luxury, they make life a bit easier but they are not absolutely necessary.

What would be much better was if car does slid back instead of opening out. My current car has doors that slide back and I wish I'd had a car like that when DDs were little.
Easier not to be in the way and you don't risk your older child flinging the door open and smashing in to the car next to you.
Perhaps we should ask all car manufacturers to design cars like this.

We've got sliding doors. Great with 3 kids, never need to worry about space to get in and out or them bashing the car nextdoor. More families should have them, makes life much easier.

Don't think I ever said they were equal, just that it would be easier and make sense to be given one for a length of time. Not sure why you are comparing - why can't there be both??