To tell school teen is unwell instead..?

[HardHatWearer]

We’re taking our 2dc to Norway for a long weekend (Thur-Sun) next month. This means taking them both out of school for 2 days (Thu\Fri). Youngest is at primary and have already told them dc10 won’t be attending those two days and am expecting them to tell me it’s unauthorised. If we get a fine, so be it.

Pondering what to do about dc14 - haven’t yet told the school as they are incredibly strict and last time we needed to take time out for a funeral (grandparent!) they took a long time to approve it and asked 101 questions, which felt very OTT considering it was a close family death (and they weren’t asking for proof, just being extremely officious). So this time I am thinking we might just say dc is unwell and get on with our lives.

For context:

• dc14 is never off, never sick and has had barely no time off school since starting age 4 (not even a full week once). Just the odd day or two for a bad stomach bug and Covid once.
• the trip is not moveable - it’s paid for by my work and needs to be on these dates. Or we wouldn’t be doing it.
• we’re going to big city and will visit many cultural attractions.

Hard hat is on…👷🏻‍♀️👷🏻‍♀️👷🏻‍♀️

Oh no, what, parents complaining?! How will they ever cope?

Besides which I'm sure no parents complain now about the draconian one size fits all system that uses no common sense nor allows teachers and leader any professionalism or autonomy or to approve absence for a close family funeral. No sir, no complaints here, nothing to see. 🙄

Nonsense. A close family funeral can be authorised as "exceptional circumstance". I’ve done that many times.

I would go with the truth, it's always less hassle. Enjoy your trip.

But it was made very difficult for the OP. Hence her feeling now that she should just call in sick.

Our school asks parents to phone before 9am every day their child is sick. I wouldn't want that on holiday. If they call you the ringtone may make it obvious you are abroad. You only get fined for 10 unauthorised sessions within a rolling ten week school period -2 sessions per school day so a week essentially. Unless your kids are off unauthorised for another 3 days it won't be an issue. Just tell them and get on with your trip.

For it to be authorised.

This won’t be - and the OP knows this so why lie about what she is doing.

Nothing will come of it apart from 4 unauthorised sessions

It's ridiculous that schools have the authority to fine parents, I'm sure the school find it irritating too.
Definitely use the illness card.

The problem with lying to the school is that your daughter may let it slip that she was not unwell. It also sets her a bad example. However I would not blame you one bit for doing it.

I'd be more inclined to just tell the school, at the last minute, that she will be absent for X days. That way uou will avoid the pre-trio inquisition but may have to pay a fine.

Go for it and enjoy yourselves.

Schools don’t - local authority do. As I have said it needs 5 days in a 10 week period. By Christmas these days would be not longer relevant to count towards a fine.

By summer term it will simply be counted as a percentage of his absence which it would be even if she called in sick for him!

Tell the truth, go on your holiday, don’t put your teen in a position where they may need to lie to a teacher.

That's a family event, not a holiday.

I’ve done it for 3 days this year and last year. One school I tell as they do not fine. The other I don’t bigger school I phone them in poorly. My children my choice. They missed a whole lot more in Covid and attendance is goood the rest of the year. We were abroad and they get experiences that they are lucky and appreciate having.

It was a holiday. I'm pretty sure I know as I was there. The wedding was 1 day and we stayed for the extra as a holiday, which the school knew.

Sickness bug. 48 hours clear.
Will be doing exactly the same in October. My kids have excellent attendance. Enjoy!

Snarky. No one forced you to read it.

I'd tell them. Too good a chance to miss, hope they understand etc.

I am not sure why you aren't just telling the truth? 2 days/4 sessions is not a fine. 10 sessions or above triggers a fine.
All I did was email both schools, say Jenny is not returning to school til x date due to family holiday, I understand this will be unauthorised. They emailed me back, thanks for letting us know, you are correct this is unauthorised. Resent me fine rules etc.
All v straightforward.

When I got the notification that I had been quoted, I prepared myself for an onslaught and to get involved in a thread hijacking battle. But that’s a fair question and I will answer it as best I can.

I’m forty odd and when I was in the sixth form this kind of asking, rather than informing the school was just coming in. My father wrote a letter to the head and asked permission for me to take a couple of days off to travel to a sports event in Dublin and the head teacher wrote back granting permission. Presumably he assessed my school attendance and performance and the merits of the trip and concluded it was a net benefit for my development. So he used his authority to say yes. In that system I would play by the rules like my father did.
But there are threads like this every other week and it always seems to be parents of kids who have good attendance etc falling foul of a one size fits all blanket NO. In my opinion if you are punished for following the rules then make your own.

On a side note there are three choices: attend, sick or unauthorized absence. If the school was to rank them in order of preference for the purpose of targets, which would be their last choice? So in the end it is just a game.

@tamade of course it’s just a game. The schools would much rather have authorised absence on record for sickness so you’re doing them a favour by saying your child is unwell. Rather than having to deal with unauthorised absence and all the admin around it.

I'd be honest with the school and stand your ground. Otherwise what kind of role model are you for your children? Lying to get your own way/avoid confrontation?

Just tell the school, don’t ask them. They’re not prison wardens, they can’t force your child to come into school.

Why are you asking?

Hi Charlie, glad to see you back, we missed you, now go sit down.

no need to ask questions that could lead to them grassing up their parents, especially when they are young.

Because it's normal for teachers to chat to children?

Also because the moment a child implies that their parent has lied to the school and/or asked them to lie to the school or keep a secret, you need to establish whether this is a safeguarding issue or actually just a caravan holiday to Cornwall- which for a child with otherwise perfect attendance who has missed 2 days I'm not in the least bit bothered about, especially since Charlie's family's circumstances meant it was surprising they managed any kind of holiday at all.

Or you can just focus on teaching and leave the family be.

No, that's what they actually said.

Believe me, I'd have known about it if the teachers had even the slightest unfounded suspicion, let alone a valid one 😬