"Can I take you out for a meal"?

[RachelTopliss]

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

This is widely used expression in the English language. The only time a man used it at me and it was creepy, was because I was 31 and very young looking and he was 60 and he said it in a hobby and I froze and asked: what about your relatives, what they will think about going out with a young woman. He said his relatives do not live in our city and he is widower. It was a social event where we had drinks after the big finale of the event and a lady next to us overheard it, came to me, and said: there, in the back , his wife is in the wheelchair, he does this to each woman who looks a bit younger than 40

At least he found out early how strange you are.

Exactly what I was thinking, he was talking about food, not a fucking gimp mask

Blimey. He was being nice. If you don't like the idea of being treated u just say, I'd like to, but I'll pay my share.

If you don't fancy him you say ' no thank you, I'm on a diet' or ' yes, shall we invite some mutual friends and have a nice friends dinner? I hear Sarah likes you'

Or you could freak out completely at being asked out. ' no, thank you! I prefer to sit indoors and I can't possibly date anyone who says ' meal'

Without context - to me it implies that the person asking

(1) wants to make sure there's no misunderstanding that they mean to treat you, which is why they use the more awkward "take you out" (which can sound bossy or infantilising in certain contexts) rather than "let's go... " or "would you like to go... "

(2) wants to leave it up to you what you'd find convenient and appropriate. For example, some people would find dinner too much of a commitment (if this were like a blind date kind of thing) and would prefer "for tea" or "for a drink" so they can get away if it's uncomfortable. Others might feel like asking someone for tea or a drink means you don't want to spend much money or time. Some people simply could not go out for lunch but could schedule dinner, or vice versa. They want to leave it as open-ended as possible in the hopes that you'll say yes to something, and will feel free to say what you'd prefer.

A meal is when you sit and eat food, probably dinner. Alone or with someone else, in this case with someone who wanted to spend more time with you. Eating a meal out is a social pastime for many and a traditional sort of date for the romantically inclined. It isn't creepy to ask someone out for a meal. If you decline and they act creepy after then its creepy. But so far, so not creepy.

Surely you know what a meal is OP!!! 🤦‍♀️

You are being really weird! 🤦‍♀️

How can we be “acting like” she owes him a date, when it’s written forum and nobody has said in black and white any such thing?

It was a kind and well worded offer, standard etiquette would be to graciously accept or decline. Not get grossed out by the choice of wording.

The word 'meal' makes me wince.
Barium meal, meal worms, bone meal, mealy mouthed (though I like that expression).

Now, I trust if he said 'can I take you out for a sumptuous repast' you'd have been all over that like gravy on chips.

Ha! We’re obviously in the weird minority OP! I hate ‘a meal’ I also really hate ‘go out for something to eat’ - I’m difficult, I get it.

I’m actually used to using the word ‘meal’ - in fact dinner sounds overly formal to me but it wouldn’t make run for the hills! Think he dodged a bullet if you’re that sensitive over food related terminology. You obviously just didn’t fancy him, I’m sure if it was a young Brad Pitt lookalike who asked you’d look past it quick enough 🙄.

Maybe the OP thinks ‘meal’ is code for ‘foreplay with me wearing my gimp mask’.

What would you like them to say instead? I don't get this at all.

It is perhaps a little stilted, but I would think that
(a) asking someone out (for the first time presumably?) is a bit nerve-wracking and people might speak unnaturally
(b) he’s trying to be non-specific as to which meal to allow you the choice of formality and/or intimacy you’re comfortable with.

You are of course free to not go out with any person for any reason, but if that’s his only issue I think you’re being a bit hasty.

I kind of feel for these guys if they’re expected to be doing the asking, then having their precise word choice and syntax scrutinised, and rather harsh conclusions drawn on that basis.

The human race is going to die out pretty darn quickly at this rate

Yea what a lunatic! 🙄

What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

What an odd thing to say …

It’s probably for the best.

Unless your uncle Fred’s surname was West then that’s really not a problem.

Can I take you for a meal is a quite straightforward question. It’s clear the asker wants to treat you and that they’re leaving it up to you as to which meal it is.

During the mid 90s I met a gorgeous looking young man in a bar and spent a portion of the evening wearing the face off him. We got dragged away to separate venues by our friends but not before I thrust my phone number in his pocket, never expecting to hear from him again.

Imagine my excitement when the next day he phoned.

He asked me would I like to 'catch a movie'.

And that was it. Over before it began.

It’s amazing anyone ends up with anyone going by this thread. I knew people had lists where men had to be over six feet, wear the right shoes etc but I didn’t realise phrases were such a thing.

It sounds polite and respectful to me, he wants to take you out for a meal which usually means he wants to pay for it too, totally normal.

It's quite a normal thing to say.

I would acknowledge my own weirdness for sure but I hate the word ‘meal’. But it’s better than the steak dinner my friend was once invited to. I know IABU here.