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AIBU?

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Are flowers an “apology”, do I just say thanks and move on

101 replies

Calmpalm · 22/09/2025 19:10

my DP has a habit of SCREAMING and escalating disagreements to the point where he is absolutely enraged. He has thrown things (not at me), broken stuff and slams doors. He shouts to the point where I cry (embarrassingly) because I can’t stand the loudness or the look in his eye.

The issue is never really resolved. The next day I am expected to move on - the issue is never discussed again, and he says “sorry for raising my voice”

Today he has bought me flowers. I said thank you. Then he said some time later “are you okay, you seem quiet”. I said “I’m just still thinking about yesterday”.

he stormed out the bedroom, slammed the door. Came back in five or so times to get something and then slammed again.

Am I just meant to move past it? Get the flowers and move on? Is this how couples argue? I’m admittedly very conflict averse but I find shouting so difficult to take!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/09/2025 20:36

OK OP it looks like you’ve left the thread. Just so you are aware, you can come back to chat, you can change names and start a new thread, you can get advice and act on it or ignore it.

You don’t have to change your whole life right now. But plan for the worse. Have just in case; money, documents, medications etc. so you can leave quickly if you need to. And make sure someone in real life knows and checks.

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