To find midwife appointments a bit useless, and wish I could just switch them to online?

[OneCheeryPinkCat]

I think I just need a little rant. Other than the booking appointment (bloods taken), midwife appointments feel a little useless to me and I just really wish I could at least move them online, which my trust doesn't offer.

I can do my own urine dip test and take a blood pressure reading without wasting 90 minutes of my day (and more frequent readings = more likely to spot issues). I'm perfectly capable to read the guidance and research on things like vitamin K; travelling around the city "for a chat" about these things with someone who attended a lecture on this once, years ago, and now 90% of the time just regurgitates what is written on the NHS website really isn't of much help to me. Supplements always seem to be handed out too late, if needed, too.

Oh, and of course I can only get an appointment on Wednesday. No other day, even if I change midwife - I could travel 60 minutes one-way for an equally inconvenient Thursday appointment. But no availability on my weekday off. I like work, I don't actually want to take time off, and it is the kind of job where I just end up making up time later that day. I live in a big city, this isn't a dreamy rural town with just one midwife, there should be more than one day with availability.

Ended up scheduling vaccines at my GP, as otherwise I'd have even more inconveniently scheduled appointments. Obviously, in-person should be offered for people who want it but why on earth do some trusts insist on in-person only?! I seriously considered cancelling my 16 week appointment but went, because it was a massive gate-keeping exercise (i.e. I needed an update on my test results and consultant appointments....which could, and should have been, posted or emailed). Absolutely nothing happened that could not have been done online, it was a complete waste of my time.

It feels like a waste of time until it isn’t. Midwives often pick up the first signs of any problems with you or baby. They are trained in what to look for. At this stage they will listen to babies heartbeat which can pick up issues, they will also make sure you are ok. Later on they will be measuring your bump, checking position and movements, checking you for signs of some of the issues which can occur in later pregnancy, go through birth plans and options, make sure you are ok in yourself which is often best done in person.

Yabu.

You are complaining about having free access to safe maternity care.

The hospital cannot validate the readings that you are taking at home. Some blood pressure monitors are very inaccurate, and you will not have had training on how to read a urine dipstick unless you are a medical professional. (In which case that is very important information which you have excluded from your OP).

You will also have further bloods at your 28 appointment as a minimum.

In person appointments are also important for safeguarding.

Your later appointments will also include listening in to your baby, and abdominal palpation and measurements.

Yes, if course, it's all a complete waste of time while everything's going well and until they spot something important.

Women are more at risk of domestic violence when pregnant so it's a safeguarding measure to see them in person if possible.

Be thankful you have access to free medical care, I had to attend appointments every 2 weeks because of issues I had that would not have been picked up if I had your attitude of it being a "waste of time"

You need to take them seriously.

Everything is fine until it isn't. So many things can need emergency intervention out of the blue.

The appointment is about the health of the baby as much as it is about you. They cannot effectively monitor either of you via a remote appointment.

Gently, give your head a little wobble and be thankful you are getting free maternity care. So many women are not so lucky.

They want sight of you because it can help them spot issues with you, not just the baby. They can notice depressed mood, self-neglect, a controlling partner that refuses to leave the clinic room. Remote appts are much harder as you can't ensure privacy/confidentiality in the same way, or see as much about the patient. Reluctance to engage in pregnancy care can be a pink flag for safety concerns. I get that it isn't convenient for you but the system is the way it is because it's crucial for other women worse off than you. Surely unless you're having a high risk pregnancy you're not really going in for that many?

I remember one around 14wk ish, where I got to hear the baby's heartbeat. How can they check that remotely? And medics won't trust your at-home blood pressure and urine dip test. The vast majority of women don't have access to at home testing like this. Even if they do, professionals can only really trust ones they've done themselves as user error by non-medical trained people is so common. Hopefully this gives you some insight.

Yes YABU, perhaps it feels pointless at 16 weeks but it won’t later on. It was my midwife measuring my bump who picked up that my son had FGR and needed to be born early.

It’s not free. We all pay for the NHS.

YABVU

Not everyone has a healthy pregnancy and a positive outcome.

The checks are there for a reason. Maybe read posts from some of us who have had losses.

I would have gone there every day if it would have saved my baby.

YABVVVU and ungrateful.

I'm having an elective c-section, so long discussions about position and birth options really aren't that relevant to me. Most of their monitoring are things you can pick up at home And anyone can get a blood pressure monitor validated at a pharmacy, it is hardly rocket science. Ironically, my midwife couldn't get a reading for me, despite trying four times, while I got one instantly.

Honestly, "safeguarding" of other women repeatedly being used as excuse for decisions like this has made me increasingly less sympathetic towards other women during this pregnancy. Yes, we need safeguards but all within reason - make the appointments requiring blood tests in-person and give us an online option for others (as other trusts do). And vaccines, scans, etc, are in-person anyway, plenty of time to check in with vulnerable women.

Thank you so much. (Not)

I'm a retired midwife. What an insult to my profession.

Are you capable of assessing your baby's health in utero? Midwives are.

As for taking your own blood pressure - I remember a lady, way back in 1980, who refused to come for ante-natal care. She got her DH to take her BP.

However, he didn't spot the signs of fulminating pre-eclampsia. His wife had a stroke, several fits, and almost died. This was at 28 weeks. I'm sorry to say that the baby did die.

YABU. VVVVU.

Yabvvu and I’m normally a very relaxed person but in person appointments are important as everything is fine until suddenly it isn’t. Midwives and Drs have seen hundreds if not thousands of women and they can pick up on little issues that turn into bigger issues. And hopefully OP your pregnancy will be plain sailing with no issues and you will be one of the lucky ones who needs zero medical intervention but remember others aren’t so lucky.

Oh please, do you have any idea how much private healthcare maternity services are?

Check your privilege 🙄

Honestly, "safeguarding" of other women repeatedly being used as excuse for decisions like this has made me increasingly less sympathetic towards other women during this pregnancy.

OMG

They are observing you and are trained to spot the things that might hurt you or your child. No you can’t DIY the process. Are you aware of the things that can go wrong? You are no more qualified to check if all is well with your pregnancy than you are to do any other kind of nursing.

This is a wind up thread surely.

No one can be this blasé about the health of their unborn baby.

I'm out.

Absolutely this

We are so privileged in this country to have the ante natal care we do.

Don’t go if you really don’t want to, they aren’t compulsory.

It’s good training and a transition to a life you can’t control as much as pre kids. I was reading “the book you wish your parents had read this morning” and it had a chapter on surrendering to pregnancy. Could be worth a read!

I really enjoyed my appointments but understand it’s not the same for everyone.

You seem to be complaining not about the actual quality of the care, but that it isn't arranged to be exactly convenient for you as an individual. That isn't what universal healthcare is designed for. If you want something that feels like a premium service where you're a customer you need to pay for it - you can go private for antenatal care.

Yes, YABU, for all the reasons above. I see two different sets of midwives (shared care), plus 4 weekly scans and consultant appointments during my pregnancy and I go to every single one. I quite literally had 4 appointments last week and ended up in triage. I’m medically trained, I can do a blood pressure, I can do a dip test, but I’m not a midwife. Why would I risk myself and my babies for a bit of inconvenience?

@OneCheeryPinkCat

Also this bit “I'm perfectly capable to read the guidance and research on things like vitamin K; travelling around the city "for a chat" about these things with someone who attended a lecture on this once, years ago, and now 90% of the time just regurgitates what is written on the NHS website really isn't of much help to me.”

Your arrogance and dismissal of midwifery skills and training (which FYI includes continuous professional development and frequent training updates) is honestly astounding.

I hope you will match this horrible energy when you are in pain in labour or when your baby needs help. Not wishing anything bad on you. However your attitude / self entitlement has floored me.

Your safeguarding dismissal is pretty offensive too. Some women may be getting abused and only allowed to leave the house under the guise of seeing a midwife. Why should that be taken away from them because you don’t want to go to your appointments?

Yes, every single thing you've just said is true.

It's also irrelevant.

Not all women can or do take blood pressure readings reliably and accurately. Hell, you may THINK you are, but are you?

Not all women can and do take urine samples and read them correctly.

Not all women know about Vitamin K. and While right now you think you know as much as the midwife, will that always be true? What if new guidance or research comes out?

A good midwife (and I do concede not all are good) is going to pick up things that you might not notice or be aware of.

The one day only thing - that is ridiculous and I completely agree with you. It's insane. I had a similar issue here - only one day a week that you could see a community midwife.