To find midwife appointments a bit useless, and wish I could just switch them to online?

[OneCheeryPinkCat]

I think I just need a little rant. Other than the booking appointment (bloods taken), midwife appointments feel a little useless to me and I just really wish I could at least move them online, which my trust doesn't offer.

I can do my own urine dip test and take a blood pressure reading without wasting 90 minutes of my day (and more frequent readings = more likely to spot issues). I'm perfectly capable to read the guidance and research on things like vitamin K; travelling around the city "for a chat" about these things with someone who attended a lecture on this once, years ago, and now 90% of the time just regurgitates what is written on the NHS website really isn't of much help to me. Supplements always seem to be handed out too late, if needed, too.

Oh, and of course I can only get an appointment on Wednesday. No other day, even if I change midwife - I could travel 60 minutes one-way for an equally inconvenient Thursday appointment. But no availability on my weekday off. I like work, I don't actually want to take time off, and it is the kind of job where I just end up making up time later that day. I live in a big city, this isn't a dreamy rural town with just one midwife, there should be more than one day with availability.

Ended up scheduling vaccines at my GP, as otherwise I'd have even more inconveniently scheduled appointments. Obviously, in-person should be offered for people who want it but why on earth do some trusts insist on in-person only?! I seriously considered cancelling my 16 week appointment but went, because it was a massive gate-keeping exercise (i.e. I needed an update on my test results and consultant appointments....which could, and should have been, posted or emailed). Absolutely nothing happened that could not have been done online, it was a complete waste of my time.

No, there's no privilege to check.

We'd have a better NHS service if the powers that be didn't treat is as if we should be grateful that we are getting something for nothing (we're not). It's actually not very good for mothers in the UK - you get a much better service in France.

As for the OP, I think you need in person appointments to check everything is ok, but the idea that a midwife can or would do anything about an abusive partner is laughable. It would have to be extreme to take the baby away and they certainly wouldn't do anything for the good of the mother.

When I was pregnant all the appointments were on Wednesdays too.

@OneCheeryPinkCat

It is so weird to me that you think because you are having an elective c section that you dont need midwifery care. You are entitled, but also DELUDED.

No consultant is going to prep you for surgery, take your obs before they start the section or .. hand you your baby, help you with skin to skin with your baby, facilitate space for dad to get behind all the wires and commotion so that he can see the baby too. Weigh the baby. Check AGAR score. Clean baby up.

Later maybe help you with establishing (breast)feeding etc That's all midwives and nurses.

Consultants don't do all that.

You will be lucky if your consultant comes back to see you after the surgery.

Your entitlement, ignorance and arrogance is baffling to me.

Also FYI birth position is VERY relevant for c-sections. Your ignorance is astounding.

I hope your lack of empathy towards other women who have difficult pregnancies and / or need safeguarding doesn't come back on you.

@dynamiccactus

Your post is factually incorrect.

Midwives are able to support in instances of domestic abuse, substance abuse, difficulty stopping smoking etc.

They can refer the pregnant mum to support services and then follow up. They can also put markers on the mum's file so that she gets more support / follow up after the birth.

You are literally wrong.

Check your privilege as PP said.

You literally have no clue what you are talking about. The role of the midwife is vast and ever expanding.
I suggest you and the OP go and do a bit of research on it. You would be amazed at what we get up to!!

Op are you ready to be a parent? Because if you carnt fit in essential midwife appointments now what do you think will happen after the baby's born? It wil be a constant steam of GP visits, health checks, injection appointments, time off when they are sick. School/ nursery/ childminder calling to ask you to pick them up when ill. If you carnt even handle midwife appointments are you really sure you are ready?

I am a nurse and COULD have checked my urine (know what I'm looking for) and my BP (on a calibrated machine) and I did on some occasions.
I also went to every single midwife appointment, waited when running behind, listened to medical advice (a lot of which I knew anyway!) and respected them for their incredibly important role.
The midwives at every step from conception to discharge 10 days post birth were intelligent, educated women (I only had women!) using their clinical judgement to look after me and my baby. The fact that you think you're high risk enough to warrant consultant care but begrudge attending midwife appts (when you are legally entitled to these) is baffling. Get a grip.

This. Having a baby turns your life upside down completely. When i had my first i couldn't believe how such a small person could change my life so much. Worth it though.

I think you’re misunderstanding what ‘naive’ means.

I hope your pregnancy continues swimmingly and the midwives you clearly look down on aren’t needed to pick up any issues. I’m, personally, of the belief we are very lucky to have such safe maternity care in the U.K.

As a tax accountant - thank you for clearing this up. The ignorance about where public funding comes from astounds me daily.

What about the things you can’t do at home, @OneCheeryPinkCat? Things like palpating your abdomen, checking the fundal height and growth of the baby, doing blood tests, listening to the baby’s heartbeat and understanding what variations are normal and, more importantly, which ones point to a problem arising.

As other posters have said, all these tests seem routine and pointless - until they aren’t.

I understand that it is time consuming and inconvenient - but isn’t it better than risking your health and the baby’s health?

Yabu

My midwife appointments were generally fine, but the one thing that was nuts was that the community midwives couldn’t take bloods. So they’d give you stickers and you’d have to book bloods separately at the hospital.

The hospital was walkable from home, so I’d have been better having my midwife appointments directly with the hospital, like I would if I was out of area, and then having bloods done on the same visit.

If these arrangements had been made clear to me at the outset, I’d have requested my appointments to be at the hospital, and not in the community. But this faffing with the bloods wasn’t mentioned at booking in etc, as presumably it wasn’t seen to be an issue.

YABU - these in-person appointments are incredibly important for myriad different reasons. PP have mentioned some.

Quit griping and suck it up

NHS wouldnt spend money on “pointless” apps, good that your pregnancy as far is complication free but its not too much to ask to go for an app what once,twice a month?

All the people wailing about how unreasonable you are have deftly glossed over that what you suggested already happens in other trusts. So if it’s a possibility, and working elsewhere, what is the logic then?

Anecdotally my midwives did nothing to help with my HG, “maybe try some rich tea biscuits and ginger tea” when I was being sick 10+ times a day. They didn’t pick up on needing to go into hospital because of dehydration, “maybe try and have a rest?”. They also missed my pre-eclampsia. All of those things were only dealt with because I advocated for myself and went to the right people to address them directly.

The trouble is, you can’t possibly question anything the NHS does, because we must be grateful. It cannot be criticised because it could be worse, so you’ll never get any reasoned responses, only pearl clutching fury.

Also OP might go into spontaneous labour before the elective!! I know someone who had a vaginal delivery at 29 weeks who was so unprepared (obviously due to being so early) but also never having planned anything other than elective CS.