To find midwife appointments a bit useless, and wish I could just switch them to online?

[OneCheeryPinkCat]

I think I just need a little rant. Other than the booking appointment (bloods taken), midwife appointments feel a little useless to me and I just really wish I could at least move them online, which my trust doesn't offer.

I can do my own urine dip test and take a blood pressure reading without wasting 90 minutes of my day (and more frequent readings = more likely to spot issues). I'm perfectly capable to read the guidance and research on things like vitamin K; travelling around the city "for a chat" about these things with someone who attended a lecture on this once, years ago, and now 90% of the time just regurgitates what is written on the NHS website really isn't of much help to me. Supplements always seem to be handed out too late, if needed, too.

Oh, and of course I can only get an appointment on Wednesday. No other day, even if I change midwife - I could travel 60 minutes one-way for an equally inconvenient Thursday appointment. But no availability on my weekday off. I like work, I don't actually want to take time off, and it is the kind of job where I just end up making up time later that day. I live in a big city, this isn't a dreamy rural town with just one midwife, there should be more than one day with availability.

Ended up scheduling vaccines at my GP, as otherwise I'd have even more inconveniently scheduled appointments. Obviously, in-person should be offered for people who want it but why on earth do some trusts insist on in-person only?! I seriously considered cancelling my 16 week appointment but went, because it was a massive gate-keeping exercise (i.e. I needed an update on my test results and consultant appointments....which could, and should have been, posted or emailed). Absolutely nothing happened that could not have been done online, it was a complete waste of my time.

Why don’t you ask for a second opinion then? Or ask to speak to the relevant consultant in person.

TBH it sounds like you’ve just thrown your toys out of the pram and decided that midwives are useless simply because they wouldn’t do your bidding without question.

I think you are coming across as arrogant (I know it all) and ignorant (you clearly have no understanding of the role of the midwife).

This. So much bollocks on here these days.

Goodness me the poor midwife.

You might as well get used to it now, parenthood is full of inconvenient appointments for things that aren’t really necessary, except when it turns out that they are, and a lot of waiting around. Just accept that state health care (and state education for that matter) don’t work around you, you work around them. It’s a conveyor belt, which snags frequently, and all you do by complaining and kicking against the system is wind yourself up. You will waste hours of your life waiting for HV to show up, waiting for vaccine clinics they inexplicably run at an inaccessible location ten miles away from main surgery, waiting for 111 to call back because your child is unwell and the GP won’t see them, waiting for “how we teach phonics” sessions at 2:30 on a Tuesday and the rest - it’s just how it is.

The alternative is to pay for your care, or just opt out entirely.

Then don’t go to them, no ones forcing you

You object to safe medical care during pregnancy by a trained medical professional.

That's some strange bullshit. 🤐

Midwife appointment can be at inconvenient times I agree- however given you have a legal entitlement to paid time off to attend maternity appointments (including travel time) you are unreasonable to complain.

Midwives are in short supply.
Appts unfortunately aren't always on convenient days or times.
You cannot do what a midwife does and that is a fact.
Your attitude to safeguarding is offensive and arrogant.
I am a midwife and thank God I'm not yours.

The first half of your second paragraph is exactly why you should trust medically trained professionals. Frequently taking blood pressure will almost certainly reveal fluctuations in bp, which is a normal.
Midwives are trained for reasons. At 16 weeks I'd have thought you wouldn't be "out of the woods" yet, however, some people will deem that they are and infact go on to have issues at the end of their pregnancy.
Midwives are trained to spot the issues when you can't. I think you ought to be grateful to have midwives willing to see you without having to pay for your appointments. There are countries out there who have no such luxury.
Screaming at anyone who will listen that you like that you are being massively inconvenienced to have to miss some of your working hours to attend medically related appointments concerning your growing baby is neglectful of your growing baby.

If nothing else the appointments are a good lesson in putting the health of your baby ahead of any inconvenience to you.

Why dont you just opt out if you know better? You don't have to attend if you dont want to

Stop going then. You’re not obligated to access maternity care. You sound fairly confident you can match the role of midwife at home, so crack on and just rock up for your c section. Problem solved. 🙄

As Someone who sat in a lecture years ago and now regurgitates information from the NHS website I’ve saved a surprising amount of babies lives!

Honestly, "safeguarding" of other women repeatedly being used as excuse for decisions like this has made me increasingly less sympathetic towards other women during this pregnancy.

I actually don’t even know what to say to this. What a ridiculous thing to say just because you’re being inconvenienced for a few months.

Op I didn't read your whole post but I started to and I mean this kindly, but babies change your whole life and you have to adjust and juggle things like appointments, childcare. One day school might phone you to say your child has vomited everywhere and you have to collect them at the drop of a hat. They change everything and it starts in pregnancy. Take care.

I know it's unbelievable what I read on here.
The amount of developmental learning I've done over 30 yrs is a LOT more than attending a lecture years ago and reading from NHS websites.

It's years of experience or when your gut tells you something isn't quite right. The OP thinks it's all useless though.

As for the safeguarding she has no clue what this involves, the amount of people it can involve and how lives are saved by vigilant safeguarding.

Wow - I loved my midwife appointments, a chance to ask questions, discuss odd symptoms etc and hear the baby heart rate. I get there are things you can do at home, I did that as well, but I’d much prefer a professional keep and eye on me and baby. You can’t measure the bump growth in the way they can for a start.

Also, as in another post - it’s all ok until it isn’t and then you’ll be glad you have the support of a midwife. Be thankful you’re not a high risk pregnancy - then you’re there pretty much every week!

NI doesn't pay for the NHS. It's not really a hypothecated tax these days. The baulk of health spending comes from general taxation.

Also even given your examples you’re wrong. Dip stick urine tests at home can and often are not conclusive, but midwives can send them off for lab tests. Blood pressure monitors used at home exclusively can either miss patterns or show abnormally high readings, so some interpretation/ verification is needed.

Quite apart from this multiple conditions, physical and mental can be worked out by looking at these results as a baseline, but then things like how you look, pallor of skin, ankles, weight, how you seem, etc. All of these are needed to complete the picture and are almost impossible to verify online. They can be used to diagnose pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, SPD, dehydration, and serious mental health conditions.

You seem to have lost confidence in your midwives based on their failure to know about your condition. I don’t know whether that is as big a deal as you make out but just remember that there could be other complications which you don’t know about and which it might be good to pick up on.

As you can see OP your view is an unpopular one on here but I am 100% with you. I found the appointments a waste of time, the midwives were generally friendly but often didn’t know what they were doing (some were very patronising especially towards my choice to have a c section) but I don’t think any really added value to my care during either of my pregnancies and it was generally a shit show trying to get appointments, constantly changed or running late, often had to have bloods taken multiple times as they lost the results etc. I was also having an elective c section both times and had a lot of private scans to reassure myself. Not wanting to take two to three hours out of a busy day to waste time on midwife appointments did not mean I was ill equipped to manage children as some posters are suggesting. Maternity services in this country are shockingly poor, and no it’s not free for me given I pay 50% of my income in taxes, so I don’t feel I need to be grateful at all. I would happily have gone private if I didn’t have to pay such high taxes already.

‘ travelling around the city "for a chat" about these things with someone who attended a lecture on this once, years ago, and now 90% of the time just regurgitates what is written on the NHS website really isn't of much help to me.’

I suspect there is a lot more ongoing training involved than that!

As someone who researches a lot for myself a lot of the information I'm patiently nodding my head to and I have no need of but, you do need a midwife to check urine, blood pressure, do fundal height measurements, listen to heartbeat. They are professionals, they'll be sharper at picking up issues and they'll be following procedures and meeting certain standards. The quality of people taking these measurements at home couldn't be trusted, it's something that need to be overseen by professionals.

But if you're short on time or logistically it's hard to attend appointments, I can see why the whole thing would be frustrating.

Just don't go then it's pretty simple.

Many don't have access to a midwife around the world so count yourself lucky and start putting your baby first by having these appointments. If you miss them social services can actually get involved.