To find midwife appointments a bit useless, and wish I could just switch them to online?

[OneCheeryPinkCat]

I think I just need a little rant. Other than the booking appointment (bloods taken), midwife appointments feel a little useless to me and I just really wish I could at least move them online, which my trust doesn't offer.

I can do my own urine dip test and take a blood pressure reading without wasting 90 minutes of my day (and more frequent readings = more likely to spot issues). I'm perfectly capable to read the guidance and research on things like vitamin K; travelling around the city "for a chat" about these things with someone who attended a lecture on this once, years ago, and now 90% of the time just regurgitates what is written on the NHS website really isn't of much help to me. Supplements always seem to be handed out too late, if needed, too.

Oh, and of course I can only get an appointment on Wednesday. No other day, even if I change midwife - I could travel 60 minutes one-way for an equally inconvenient Thursday appointment. But no availability on my weekday off. I like work, I don't actually want to take time off, and it is the kind of job where I just end up making up time later that day. I live in a big city, this isn't a dreamy rural town with just one midwife, there should be more than one day with availability.

Ended up scheduling vaccines at my GP, as otherwise I'd have even more inconveniently scheduled appointments. Obviously, in-person should be offered for people who want it but why on earth do some trusts insist on in-person only?! I seriously considered cancelling my 16 week appointment but went, because it was a massive gate-keeping exercise (i.e. I needed an update on my test results and consultant appointments....which could, and should have been, posted or emailed). Absolutely nothing happened that could not have been done online, it was a complete waste of my time.

I think they feel like a waste of time because you are in the privileged position that all is going well with your pregnancy and your baby is healthy. Just be appreciate and grateful that the worst you have to worry about is feeling you are wasting a bit of time.

Yabvu and also insulting to midwives.

Incidentally, I've had one pregnancy where the appointments were all routine and sort of boring and I would have been fine without them and one that was... not like that. It is an enormous, enormous blessing to be in a position where your antenatal care feels unnecessary.

Actually, integration with private care is a bit of a mixed bag. I'd much rather have more regular ultrasounds than deal with fundal height measurements (most other European countries combine both...), but depending on where you are, the NHS won't accept those results. Which is fine, from a liability point of view I get it, but then this information is flagged as missing from the system and this will influence later decisions.

Well it was a wonderful midwife who spotted she couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat very well, because of being in a dangerous position. I was admitted to hospital there and then. We could have both died if it had have been online. Op, so very important to attend.

YABu and insulting to midwives and women as a sex! Yeah - those women at risk from their partners can fuxk off, right ok? No sympathy 😩

You’re very very lucky to have thus far no idea of the true value of your midwife appointments, it’s a privileged position.

My first pregnancy issues were picked up only at routine antenatal appointment which meant I was then referred and ensured me and baby were safe.

As we speak I’ve not long got home from a midwife appointment where an issue has been picked up, only from the midwife feeling my tummy, referred for an urgent scan to check/confirm her suspicions and get a plan in place. No symptoms whatsoever and would never have suspected any issues.

So,if your pregnancy is going well and you think you know it all why are you having an elective c section? It sounds like this pregnancy is an inconvenience to you but just wait until the baby arrives. They won’t be doing things at your convenience…

I could have written this OP. I’m a nurse and found the whole thing a complete waste of time. However, when I had a breakdown post partum, I was so happy to have them come to my house and feel like they knew how I was acting ‘wasn’t me’. They knew what sort of person I was and what had changed and it counted for a lot, even to reassure me that I hadn’t lost the plot and they understood who I was before. They were so good and kept me on their home visit books for an extra month because I didn’t feel comfortable to start from scratch with the HV.

Hopefully once you’ve had your DC you can laugh at how much time you wasted with them, but if you end up like me you’ll not consider it a waste of time any more.

Then just go private for the whole shebang? But presumably what you want is the NHS to run it at your convenience but still pay for all the expensive bits.

Theyre always pointless until theyre not.

Unrelated really but just to check you have considered your birth options in case you labour before an elective section - i was dismissive of any birth chat because of my elective plan that was set in stone, which then bit me on the arse when I went into labour much earlier and there wasnt a theatre available immediately. Wish I'd at least discussed pain relief for labour.

Nope, but that is what the consultant appointments are for. Including for a very common gyno condition that can lead to stillbirth and premature labour, which neither my midwife nor the midwife she consulted had heard of. But because they feel they can manage, I'm still amber, rather than red, which would have meant consultant-led care (which would be much more sensible in my case but my opinion doesn't count).

Oh you are so naive!

Classic 'I'm asking a question but I know the answer, so piss off unless you agree with me' post.

Less naive than the midwives who had never heard of my health condition!

So you think the midwife is a waste of time but would be ok seeing a consultant? I think you would be disappointed by some of the care or advice you receive from the consultant in that case!

If you think they’re pointless stop going.

If you think you can monitor better via your own tests, well then do that. You can pay privately for ultrasounds whenever you like.

As others have said - it’s there for when things do go wrong.

I agree they can feel a bit of a time drain if you need a day off / WFH plus travel for a ten minute appointment where all is fine - but, what if it wasn’t?

Do you think midwives just stay in clinics for all of their contracted hours so should be able to fit around your much more important commitments?

Have you stopped to think that clinics are just a small part of their role and when the clinic isn’t open they’ll be doing home visits, attending home births, supporting breast feeding groups, doing CPD and mandatory training, etc?

Yes, it’s irritating that the clinic doesn’t fall at a more convenient time for you, but the midwives aren’t holding it then just to piss you off.

You have been hugely offensive and dismissive to the midwifery profession as well as lots of other pregnant women who aren’t in the privileged position that you are.

I hope you stop for a minute and reflect on what you’ve said and your attitude.

I think it is pretty clear MN thinks IBU, which doesn't mean I have to agree. I used to be a big advocate of more midwife-led maternity care, which is a rarity in Europe, but my experience with them has very firmly changed my mind.

Feel free to pay for your own private maternity care then & leave the NHS care to those who appreciate it. Oh wait, I imagine you do actually want help from the NHS when it suits you?

YABU. Just because you’ve had no problems so far you can’t dismiss the importance of being seen in person for many many reasons as set out on this thread. Midwifes have to undertake a degree plus on the job training: what you think is a routine appointment will probably consist of them checking a variety of things off which you’re not even aware of. You sound a bit patronising TBH.

Plus isn’t this more important than a couple of hours of work? TBH you’d better change this point of view pretty quickly because the endless appointments you have to attend with young children in random health centres at non-negotiable times is going to be a horrid shock otherwise.

If it wasn't for routine midwife appointments myself and my baby would now be dead. Stop complaining and just go. Attitudes like yours make me so angry

I'm perfectly happy to attend appointments, even at inconvenient times, if they fulfill an actual purpose and arent't something I can't do at home. Ironically, a fair number of my consultant appointments were phone appointments, because we just reviewed blood tests, which my midwife insists can only happen in-person.

And I do maintain that one day a week for appointments in a big city is incredible limited availability.

Just wait until baby is here and you have to wait around for the midwife to visit at some unknown time(if you are lucky they might specify am/pm).

YABU

If I can opt out of NI, happily!