Holiday friendships fizzled out

[PerkyOchrePeer]

To cut long story short. I was introduced to someone. Seemed nice. Was from abroad. Went on holiday to ger country and net up and had a good time. She has come to my country to see someone. Not asked to meet me. We just happened to rock up at the same function and she hardly spoke to ne Theb she left to go on somewhere else and didn't even say goodbye. Just walked out. How rude

🔪🔪🔪

She doesn't want to be friends with you. The End.

Friendships are a bit like dating. You meet up with people to see if you get along and have things in common or you get to know someone through work/hobby/mutual friends. You might initially think this could turn into a friendship but then it turns out you don't have much to say to each other, or there's things about the other person you don't like, or you disagree on too many things, or there's just no friendship spark. And that's the end of it. It fizzles out.
There's no need for dramatic WhatsApp messages to "end the friendship".

If you are saying you’ve moved on and aren’t bothered anymore, perhaps you can explain what you want from this post? Otherwise we are going to assume you are still obsessed with her!

She didn’t ask because she doesn’t want to know. She doesn’t like you nor care for you.
No need to ‘bin her off’ as she’s not involved with you.
Shes living in your head.
She probably doesn’t give you a second thought and if she does it’s to breathe a sigh of relief that she doesn’t need to interact with you.

So why start another thread?

YOU. YOU seem to be the only one who cares.

why are you telling us about other friendships you have? No one asked.

stop thinking about this person who doesn’t like you and whom you clearly have decided you don’t like.

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her.
because she’s nice

I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew.
ok

There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles.
so you are now calling yourself a freeloader

The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years
so? She’s just more generous than you. Why are you using her being extra gracious and showing you around as a thing to criticise her for?

ooooh. She went out of her way, above and beyond and did far more than I would…..what a cow…..

Your thinking is too black and white: 'I would do this - therefore everyone else in the world should do this!"

You don't get to determine how other people behave and, while you are well within your rights to determine whether or not you think it is 'right' or 'fair', it also doesn't meant that your view of circumstances is 'correct'.

If you didn't care and had moved on, then you wouldn't be posting - again.

Your level of intensity around this issue and your rigid 'my way or the highway' attitude are both things you need to look at, because honestly, it's not healthy.

She cones about twice a year

Yes, it is generally better to be direct and clear when ending a friendship, as it minimizes confusion and allows for closure,

Well this is your issue - you saw it as a friendship and she didn't. So your 'rules' don't apply here anyway if the other person doesn't consider it a friendship. Tell your mutual friend that you and this person are not friends so best not to mention her around you. And then get on with your life. If you post about this on a third thread then please seek some kind of counselling because your fixation on this person is really not normal. Let alone the fact that you set up two posts for 'advice' and then ignore the overwhelming advice given. Again, not normal.

But she wasn’t and isn’t your friend. She acted as your tour guide. Would you have expected a paid for tour guide to message and tell you they are ending the friendship?

The lady was kind and replied to your initial messages when you got home. The conversation then either naturally fizzled out or you made her uncomfortable and do she decided to stop replying, the whole thing didn’t go on long enough to become a friendship.

You have got to stop obsessing over this woman - if you were a man (and both on this thread and the previous one I honestly thought you were a man with how you write) she would be going to police and reporting you for stalking/harassment. You have to stop and let it go. Even if you thought she was the love of your life, your soul mate and or the most perfectly matched friendship in history she DOESN’T feel the same way.

But there’s no confusion at all on her part. It’s all yours.

ooooh. She went out of her way, above and beyond and did far more than I would…..what a cow…..

That made me laugh, because I can absolutely imagine the OP saying it with full seriousness.

This is it! I'd love to hear the friendly acquaintance's version of events here.

Then why not apply the same thinking if your mutual friend invites you to join them for dinner again? Instead of feeling awkward, just tell her, “To be honest, I don’t think Sarah and I have really gelled. It was really nice of her to show me around country X, but I’ll leave you to enjoy your time together”.

Surely this is better than sitting through dinner with her thinking “What a bitch”, or having to pretend you’re busy or that you’re ill or visiting your granny that week every time she comes to the UK?

OP, gently, you are a spectacularly difficult person on the evidence of your threads.

An ordinary response to this woman putting herself out for you, refusing petrol money, and making sure you had a nice time in her country because she knew your friend, would be gratitude, especially in view of her being recently bereaved.

Your response has been to question her motives, suspect her of sexual motivation because she paid you a compliment while trying on clothes, and then to start two angry internet threads because she’s made it politely clear she’s not interested in being your friend.

Yes, that seems to be her thought process. ‘I would only do those things for a close friend, therefore this woman has committed to being my close friend. I am now outraged that she has betrayed our friendship by not responding to my WhatsApps and for not saying goodbye to me personally at a party.’

You clearly care, else you’d forget about it. I’m glad you’ve got nice friends, focus on them instead! Not everyone will want to be your friend, and that’s perfectly normal

Agree,

IT WASN'T A FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!