Page 3 | Holiday friendships fizzled out

PerkyOchrePeer · 2025-09-21T15:07:43+00:00

To cut long story short. I was introduced to someone. Seemed nice. Was from abroad. Went on holiday to ger country and net up and had a good time. She has come to my country to see someone. Not asked to meet me. We just happened to rock up at the same function and she hardly spoke to ne Theb she left to go on somewhere else and didn't even say goodbye. Just walked out. How rude

MayaPinion · 21/09/2025 22:18

So this person spent some time with you in her country for a day or two as a favour for a friend? She doesn’t owe you anything, OP. You weren’t friends or anything. She barely knows you. Why would she be getting in contact with you?

Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:23

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

OP posts:

Bobiverse · 22/09/2025 00:36

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:23

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

So? What’s that got to do with anything?
Seriously, what has your opinion on whether or not you would show someone round got to do with anything?

This woman did do it. As a nice thing to do. It didn’t mean anything; plenty of people do things like that. It really isn’t odd. You’re the only one who thinks it is.
She then gave a few short replies to your messages and then stopped replying. That is the entirety of your relationship with her. So why are you still thinking about her 1.5/2 years later?

What exactly is it you think she promised you? She didn’t commit to a friendship. She didn’t promise you contact. She showed you round, sent a few perfunctory replies and then stopped… over a year ago. She isn’t your friend. What is it you think she owes you?

Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:40

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

OP posts:

Bobiverse · 22/09/2025 00:43

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:40

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

Why have you just posted the same thing again?

What has that got to do with anything? What do you think it means? Do you think she committed herself to being your lifelong friend?

She was never your friend. She is not your friend. She just did a nice thing, which loads of folk would do. What is it you think it means?

BadLad · 22/09/2025 00:44

YouMightThinkThat · 21/09/2025 20:59

It's under a different name and I'm not sure that's allowed?

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We’d love to see them.

Bobiverse · 22/09/2025 00:45

BadLad · 22/09/2025 00:44

We’d love to see them.

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I posted the link in this thread.

RudyRudester · 22/09/2025 00:45

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:23

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

Seriously get over it
It's done
Move on
You're sounding a bit deranged now

Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 01:19

RudyRudester · 22/09/2025 00:45

Seriously get over it
It's done
Move on
You're sounding a bit deranged now

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I am over it. Was only putting my point of view across which I am entitled to do

OP posts:

Bobiverse · 22/09/2025 01:21

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 01:19

I am over it. Was only putting my point of view across which I am entitled to do

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You’ve started another thread about it, years after you spent a few days with her. You’re clearly not over it.

Get therapy.

RudyRudester · 22/09/2025 01:30

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 01:19

I am over it. Was only putting my point of view across which I am entitled to do

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You're not because you've posted again saying the same thing

nomas · 22/09/2025 04:36

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:23

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

So she’s clearly a very kind person. Just because she showed you around her home country doesn’t mean she now owes you friendship for life!

Many years ago I worked for a company and through that, a woman several thousands of miles away kindly drove me around her island when I visited.

She didn’t have to do that. I gave her a gift and never contacted her again!

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 22/09/2025 06:20

PerkyOchrePeer · 21/09/2025 20:18

If I decide not to have anything more to do with someone, I tell them straight. I say something like I think we should stop contact and then I block them from wassap.i am a direct person

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Oh dear, I’d have hoped you might have picked up on what we were telling you on your last thread about this woman.
She doesn’t like you OP, she doesnt want to be your friend. She is not interested in you. She wants nothing to do with you.

Any questions?

GreenWheat · 22/09/2025 07:43

This is really getting tedious. What's the point of starting multiple threads on this if you're just going to trot out the same things, utterly impervious to the comments. As has been established over pages and pages on your other threads, most people think it rude and unnecessarily aggressive to tell someone they barely know that they don't want to have a friendship. Instead, most people do exactly as this woman has - a few polite responses then that's it. But there is really no point in my posting this as you won't listen.

MaybeIf · 22/09/2025 08:09

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 01:19

I am over it. Was only putting my point of view across which I am entitled to do

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But why are you still posting on the internet about it, OP? It’s quite some time ago now.

Most people would be grateful this woman had shown them around and clearly been very kind and selfless (and didn’t you say she’d refused petrol money and that she’d had a close bereavement not long before you visited?), rather than being aggrieved that she didn’t want to befriend you after you’d gone home?

Showing someone around isn’t a binding contract of commitment or anything.

If I saw someone at an event who’d gone to a lot of trouble for me on a holiday, I’d go and say hi, express my appreciation briefly and move on, and let her enjoy the function.

secureyourbook · 22/09/2025 08:30

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:40

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

Ok, so for the sake of argument let’s say she did think she might fancy you initially. So she decided to show you around and get to know you better. On getting to know you better, she decided you weren’t really for her (either as girlfriend material or friendship) so has let it go, but perhaps doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by sending you a WhatsApp saying “I don’t want to be friends with you”. Just read the room and delete her number. She doesn’t owe you anything.

Swiftie1878 · 22/09/2025 08:34

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 01:19

I am over it. Was only putting my point of view across which I am entitled to do

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Your POV is wrong, as so many have told you in this thread and your previous ones.
Leave the poor woman in peace, and stop obsessing about her.

typo

HaveItOffTilICough · 22/09/2025 09:09

PerkyOchrePeer · 21/09/2025 20:18

If I decide not to have anything more to do with someone, I tell them straight. I say something like I think we should stop contact and then I block them from wassap.i am a direct person

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Then take the initiative and do it yourself.

NewYorkSummer · 22/09/2025 09:26

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:40

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

So basically you were the freeloader in this situation? No wonder she doesn’t want to be friends.

Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 09:54

NewYorkSummer · 22/09/2025 09:26

So basically you were the freeloader in this situation? No wonder she doesn’t want to be friends.

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I've already deleted her. I offered her petrol money and she said no. I've been in other situations and offered the driver petrol money and they said yes. I would ner take a ride on a long journey without offering petrol money

OP posts:

Hobnobswantshernameback · 22/09/2025 09:59

Honestly people save your breath
or cut and paste what you said on the last thread... and the one before that... and the one....
it won't make an ounce of difference

MumChp · 22/09/2025 10:08

Leave it. Get on with your life.

Original poster

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 10:14

MumChp · 22/09/2025 10:08

Leave it. Get on with your life.

Bit difficult when we have a mutual friend and the mutual friend mentions her a d says oh I am going on hiday with xxxx or xxxx is coming to the UK for a couple of weeks and I see xxxx with the mutual friend and my natural reaction would be to say hello, especially if we are sat st the same restaurant over dinner because the mutual friend has invited me which is what happened a few days ago

OP posts:

nomas · 22/09/2025 10:15

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 09:54

I've already deleted her. I offered her petrol money and she said no. I've been in other situations and offered the driver petrol money and they said yes. I would ner take a ride on a long journey without offering petrol money

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Did you delete her before you saw her at the recent function?

MumChp · 22/09/2025 10:17

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 10:14

Bit difficult when we have a mutual friend and the mutual friend mentions her a d says oh I am going on hiday with xxxx or xxxx is coming to the UK for a couple of weeks and I see xxxx with the mutual friend and my natural reaction would be to say hello, especially if we are sat st the same restaurant over dinner because the mutual friend has invited me which is what happened a few days ago

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Not it isn't at all. Stop overdramatizing.