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Original poster

Holiday friendships fizzled out

121 replies

PerkyOchrePeer · 21/09/2025 16:07

To cut long story short. I was introduced to someone. Seemed nice. Was from abroad. Went on holiday to ger country and net up and had a good time. She has come to my country to see someone. Not asked to meet me. We just happened to rock up at the same function and she hardly spoke to ne Theb she left to go on somewhere else and didn't even say goodbye. Just walked out. How rude

OP posts:
Original poster
PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 10:17

nomas · 22/09/2025 10:15

Did you delete her before you saw her at the recent function?

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No

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 22/09/2025 10:20

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 01:19

I am over it. Was only putting my point of view across which I am entitled to do

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You’re not over it. You’re obsessed and you need to get a grip.

DiscoBob · 22/09/2025 10:22

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:23

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

Why won't you listen to any of us at all? Nobody agrees with you and you are the one who's peculiar not this random woman you met once.

Why are you obsessed with her? You really sound utterly unhinged.

BauhausOfEliott · 22/09/2025 10:23

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 00:40

Nobody forced her to show me round her country. She did it of her own free will. The mutual friend didn't ask her to show me round so she wasn't doing it as a favour to her. I would not show somebody round my country I hardly knew. There are paid tour guides for that and I am not doing the job of a tour guide for some freeloader to benefit from seeing my country whilst I spend money on petrol driving hundreds of miles. The only people I would do that for are a relative or a close friend that I had known for years

Just because you wouldn’t do something for a friend of a friend, that doesn’t mean other people wouldn’t. Not everyone is as rigid as you.

It is abundantly clear why this woman avoided you after your trip. It’s because you are a difficult person.

Peoplepleaserincrisis · 22/09/2025 10:28

Good grief, not again. Surely you just say a polite hello (if even that) and then ignore if this situation crops up again. You are investing way too much brain space to someone who is NOT interested in you, either in a friendship way or otherwise. She did a nice thing, it's completely irrelevant if you would/wouldn't have done the same in her situation. Her motivation for showing you round her country is irrelevant- she did it and after has decided not to pursue any sort of contact with you. Just put it behind you.

nomas · 22/09/2025 10:28

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 10:14

Bit difficult when we have a mutual friend and the mutual friend mentions her a d says oh I am going on hiday with xxxx or xxxx is coming to the UK for a couple of weeks and I see xxxx with the mutual friend and my natural reaction would be to say hello, especially if we are sat st the same restaurant over dinner because the mutual friend has invited me which is what happened a few days ago

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It’s not difficult. I have two friends who still keep in touch with someone I didn’t get on with. When they bring up her name, I just smile politely until the subject moves on.

In a restaurant situation with others, just say a general hello to the table and talk to the people you like.

If your mutual friend invites you to dinner with just this woman, say no.

Original poster
PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 10:29

BauhausOfEliott · 22/09/2025 10:23

Just because you wouldn’t do something for a friend of a friend, that doesn’t mean other people wouldn’t. Not everyone is as rigid as you.

It is abundantly clear why this woman avoided you after your trip. It’s because you are a difficult person.

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Im not a difficult person. I asked her how she was and wished her a safe and pleasant journey to the UK. I also asked her what she had done since she got here. Never once did she say how are you or what have you been up to Time to bin her off

OP posts:
MumChp · 22/09/2025 10:40

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 10:29

Im not a difficult person. I asked her how she was and wished her a safe and pleasant journey to the UK. I also asked her what she had done since she got here. Never once did she say how are you or what have you been up to Time to bin her off

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You are a drama queen. Sorry.

RudyRudester · 22/09/2025 10:41

Are you ND OP?

TorroFerney · 22/09/2025 10:44

nomas · 22/09/2025 04:36

So she’s clearly a very kind person. Just because she showed you around her home country doesn’t mean she now owes you friendship for life!

Many years ago I worked for a company and through that, a woman several thousands of miles away kindly drove me around her island when I visited.

She didn’t have to do that. I gave her a gift and never contacted her again!

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This is the very epitome of „no good deed goes unpunished „ isn’t it.

Tunacheesequesadilla · 22/09/2025 10:45

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 10:29

Im not a difficult person. I asked her how she was and wished her a safe and pleasant journey to the UK. I also asked her what she had done since she got here. Never once did she say how are you or what have you been up to Time to bin her off

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I'm sure she'll be devastated that you've decided to bin her off.

Itsastart · 22/09/2025 10:52

Time to bin her off? There is nothing for you to bin off - you got binned!

HaveItOffTilICough · 22/09/2025 11:13

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 10:14

Bit difficult when we have a mutual friend and the mutual friend mentions her a d says oh I am going on hiday with xxxx or xxxx is coming to the UK for a couple of weeks and I see xxxx with the mutual friend and my natural reaction would be to say hello, especially if we are sat st the same restaurant over dinner because the mutual friend has invited me which is what happened a few days ago

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Well, now you know not to accept the invitation if your mutual friend invites you again. And if she happens to mention she’s going on holiday with this woman, all you have to say is “That’s nice; have a good time!”. Your friend isn’t mentioning her holiday plans because she wants to hear your thoughts on her travel companion.

How often does the woman even come to the UK anyway? Is it going to be a long-term problem avoiding someone who lives in another country?

Original poster
PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 11:15

Itsastart · 22/09/2025 10:52

Time to bin her off? There is nothing for you to bin off - you got binned!

Who cares ive got nicer friends that I see regularly and they actually put themselves out not as a favour but they genuinely mean it and our friendship is based on mutual respect and give and take. Im seeing a friend on Friday and she said she us really looking forward to it and she means it. We have been friends for 20 years

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 22/09/2025 11:18

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 11:15

Who cares ive got nicer friends that I see regularly and they actually put themselves out not as a favour but they genuinely mean it and our friendship is based on mutual respect and give and take. Im seeing a friend on Friday and she said she us really looking forward to it and she means it. We have been friends for 20 years

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So - what was your point in starting this new thread? To be honest, you're coming across like a mardy teenager whose teenage crush doesn't want you.

ClutchingPearlz · 22/09/2025 11:26

MaybeIf · 21/09/2025 16:09

You again, OP? You really need to get past this. She was just being nice to you when you were in her country for the sake of a mutual friend. She went to a lot of trouble to make sure you had a good time. But you aren’t fruends. Let it go?

Yes, I thought I was having de javu. It is the same OP again hoping to get different answers to last time no doubt

RudyRudester · 22/09/2025 11:28

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 11:15

Who cares ive got nicer friends that I see regularly and they actually put themselves out not as a favour but they genuinely mean it and our friendship is based on mutual respect and give and take. Im seeing a friend on Friday and she said she us really looking forward to it and she means it. We have been friends for 20 years

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Ner ner nernernerrrrrrr

Hobnobswantshernameback · 22/09/2025 11:30

Rinse and repeat
over
and
over
and
over again

kellygoeswest · 22/09/2025 11:36

You seem way too invested in someone you've only met a couple of times. Sometimes things just fizzle out, or peoples priorities change, it's not that serious. She doesn't owe anything to you.

Tunacheesequesadilla · 22/09/2025 11:36

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 11:15

Who cares ive got nicer friends that I see regularly and they actually put themselves out not as a favour but they genuinely mean it and our friendship is based on mutual respect and give and take. Im seeing a friend on Friday and she said she us really looking forward to it and she means it. We have been friends for 20 years

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Clearly you care, since you've started multiple threads about it.

Original poster
PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 11:51

Not any more. Not after seeing her recently a few days ago.

OP posts:
PollyBell · 22/09/2025 11:53

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 11:15

Who cares ive got nicer friends that I see regularly and they actually put themselves out not as a favour but they genuinely mean it and our friendship is based on mutual respect and give and take. Im seeing a friend on Friday and she said she us really looking forward to it and she means it. We have been friends for 20 years

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Who cares? you do, just move on

Swiftie1878 · 22/09/2025 11:54

PerkyOchrePeer · 22/09/2025 11:51

Not any more. Not after seeing her recently a few days ago.

Edited

I think you should see a mental health professional. Your responses are not normal. You may need some help.

RudyRudester · 22/09/2025 11:57

Swiftie1878 · 22/09/2025 11:54

I think you should see a mental health professional. Your responses are not normal. You may need some help.

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That's what I was thinking

KilkennyCats · 22/09/2025 11:59

Wow. You were introduced to someone from abroad at a function and you actually tracked them down and met up with them when you travelled to their country?
And thought that made you best friends for life going forward?
I’d be moving with no forwarding address if I encountered someone like you.