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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hair help!

104 replies

WillowP · 20/09/2025 18:09

Posting here instead of style and beauty as need a quick answer to try and get this fixed tonight or tomorrow.
Had highlights done, which I liked, it is light but my hair lifted really well apparently. I met with a friend today who took one look and said you need to cover that with a darker colour asap it looks ridiculous ( thanks for that) so question is can I just chuck a box colour over it? She reckons a mid to dark brown. I can’t afford to go back to hairdressers as highlights cost quite a bit so box colour it is.
Any advice from hairdressers or someone who has done this themselves successfully would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you

OP posts:
DamnedIfIDoDamnedIfIDont · 21/09/2025 05:08

absolutely gorgeous id be made up if that was my hair. She’s jealous!!

Bigpakchoi · 21/09/2025 05:30

littleburn · 20/09/2025 18:24

It’s a lovely colour. Not ‘ridiculous’ at all. Your so-called friend is jealous that you look great.

💯 the colour is lovely and really well done. I think you look fab.

Your friend sounds a jealous type, like if you got a new job or took up a hobby she would make negative comments to bring you down.

Butterflybum · 21/09/2025 07:22

It looks lovely. Not sure what your friend is on about! I’m so glad that you didn’t run out and cover it up!

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 21/09/2025 07:38

it looks great! Don’t do anything. Your friend is jealous.

CrowMate · 21/09/2025 07:45

It really does look lovely. Thank goodness you didn’t get the box dye.

Your friend was very unkind and so far off the mark, I do think it was intended to sabotage. I hope that you’ll be wary of any comments on your appearance in future. She sounds like someone who likes to keep her friends “below” her.

AnxiousAnnieeeeeeeeee · 21/09/2025 08:40

Your hair is gorgeous. I was expecting you to post awful pictures! It’s genuinely really nice!!

With no offence intended - it is significantly nicer than the before shot.

In your shoes I would be worried your friend is trying to bring you down - there is no way she truly believes your new colour needs to be fixed. She’s jealous I think.

Foundationns · 21/09/2025 15:24

Why are you listening to your friend who has different taste than you? It’s your hair and you like it. Ignore her.

Jeschara · 21/09/2025 18:57

Seeing those second pictures I have to say your hair is gorgeous now.
I am concerned you say, she is your friend, she is not, she puts you down to make herself feel better. Spiteful and jealous.
I think if you feel this friendship is worth saving, you need to speak to this woman and tell her you will tolerate her nasty comments no more.

Jeschara · 21/09/2025 19:04

I meant to ask, what have your other friends said about your lovely hair?

Original poster
WillowP · 22/09/2025 06:14

Jeschara · 21/09/2025 19:04

I meant to ask, what have your other friends said about your lovely hair?

Not that many other people have seen it but those that have said it was nice, one said “ oh that’s different “ not exactly positive but polite but I hate those sort of comments too- different as in good or different as in bad lol I’m still undecided as what to do. I may text hairdresser and ask for a consultation then decide. Maybe a darker toner …

OP posts:
ThatNewMoose · 22/09/2025 07:16

Your hair looks beautiful, your friend is an arsehole,
and definitely dont box dye, it will be very uneven and rein all the hard work put into achieving your current colour.

WilloesWorld · 22/09/2025 07:28

@WillowP It looks really lovely.It might just need a bit of getting used to if you were a lot darker before.
Its not brassy or anything your hairdresser has done a really good job.

If you are still wanting to colour over it though,have a look at the SHRINE website they do toners they are amazing x

Antimimisti · 22/09/2025 07:29

I think your friend is one of those people who likes to have the 'best' everything of her group, and she didn't like the possibility of your hair upstaging hers! It looks amazing, the photo is the kind of picture others would show to their hairdresser to explain the look they wanted.

CrowMate · 22/09/2025 07:29

WillowP · 22/09/2025 06:14

Not that many other people have seen it but those that have said it was nice, one said “ oh that’s different “ not exactly positive but polite but I hate those sort of comments too- different as in good or different as in bad lol I’m still undecided as what to do. I may text hairdresser and ask for a consultation then decide. Maybe a darker toner …

Show quote history

Why? Because you’re unhappy?

Don’t change it for others. What if they then make lack lustre comments about the new colour.

People here don’t hold back to spare feelings. You’ve had unanimously good feedback from people with no need to tell you it looks good. Only change if you’re unhappy.

Squirrelblanket · 22/09/2025 07:33

It looks lovely and YOU like it which is the most important bit! Ignore your rude friend!

Original poster
WillowP · 22/09/2025 07:38

WilloesWorld · 22/09/2025 07:28

@WillowP It looks really lovely.It might just need a bit of getting used to if you were a lot darker before.
Its not brassy or anything your hairdresser has done a really good job.

If you are still wanting to colour over it though,have a look at the SHRINE website they do toners they are amazing x

Thank you. Yes was looking at shrine- the drops you add to conditioner? Just not sure which one. I think I might contact hairdresser and maybe get a slightly darker toner, not sure, I’m still thinking about it.

OP posts:
gloriousrhino · 22/09/2025 07:58

Please do nothing! It's lovely and I agree with everyone else - she's jealous or (trying to be kind), she doesn't like change. If she says anything else, I should just say "oh you'll get used to it"! and leave it at that.

Countingmyselfluckytoday · 22/09/2025 08:11

It looks lovely. Don’t be changing it based on some rude so called friend. You don’t need a toner in it.

it’s a lovely colour. I would seriously have a think about why you’ve listened to this person though and let her make you think about ruining your hair by covering up a lovely job with a dye. Fuck her

deeahgwitch · 22/09/2025 08:14

littleburn · 20/09/2025 18:24

It’s a lovely colour. Not ‘ridiculous’ at all. Your so-called friend is jealous that you look great.

This 💯

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 22/09/2025 08:46

Your hairdresser has done an amazing job, OP, it is absolutely lovely, and suits your skin tone perfectly.
Dont be tempted to put anything over it. You will ruin it, for sure.

Hardhaton1 · 22/09/2025 08:49

The Hairdresser has done a fantastic job those before and after are amazing

WilloesWorld · 22/09/2025 08:57

WillowP · 22/09/2025 07:38

Thank you. Yes was looking at shrine- the drops you add to conditioner? Just not sure which one. I think I might contact hairdresser and maybe get a slightly darker toner, not sure, I’m still thinking about it.

Show quote history

@WillowPYes just ask the hairdresser she clearly knows what she’s doing.You have had really good feedback from everyone on this forum and if you wanted an honest opinion you know you would 100% get it here.

I use the Shrine drops I mix Champagne & caramel together 😊X

WilloesWorld · 22/09/2025 09:09

@WillowP Oh wow just seen the before & after pics it’s gorgeous.What a transformation!
I have to agree with the others your “friend” is bloody rude she knows it looks really good and she’s jealous because she maybe wouldn’t be able to pull it off!!

If she says anything else simply say it’s funny you should think that because I’ve had so many compliments x

PurpleHiker · 22/09/2025 09:19

It looks lovely. Please ignore your ‘friend’.

27pilates · 22/09/2025 09:19

Don’t do anything to that hair !! It’s a beautiful colour.

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