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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hair help!

104 replies

WillowP · 20/09/2025 18:09

Posting here instead of style and beauty as need a quick answer to try and get this fixed tonight or tomorrow.
Had highlights done, which I liked, it is light but my hair lifted really well apparently. I met with a friend today who took one look and said you need to cover that with a darker colour asap it looks ridiculous ( thanks for that) so question is can I just chuck a box colour over it? She reckons a mid to dark brown. I can’t afford to go back to hairdressers as highlights cost quite a bit so box colour it is.
Any advice from hairdressers or someone who has done this themselves successfully would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you

OP posts:
Jeschara · 20/09/2025 18:36

Lovely, don't box dye it. Ditch the friend she is a nasty jealous person and that is me being polite.
The passive aggresive sarcasm was nasty too. OP she is not blunt she is bloody rude and vile.
Hold your head high you look lovely. Don't let this insecure rude cow ruin it for you. Let her put down, or bully, someone else.

TheatricalLife · 20/09/2025 18:36

From your further replies, I can see she IS one of those friends. The "I tell it like it is" type (which is code for I'm actually a massive nasty arsehole).
Keep the hair, ditch the friend.

Angryfrommanchester1 · 20/09/2025 18:36

It looks fine to me, if you like it don’t dye over it.

Velvetgoldmine · 20/09/2025 18:37

Looks great. You have a jealous friend.

Original poster
WillowP · 20/09/2025 18:39

Thank you everyone, I’m reading all the replies- I posted here for quick responses and more importantly honest ones which I knew aibu would be! And was ready to be told yep it’s awful, colour over it lol so to have so many of you say it isn’t has really given me a boost as I keep looking in mirror now and scrutinising it.

OP posts:
notatinydancer · 20/09/2025 18:40

The colour is lovely your friend is rude

TheChosenTwo · 20/09/2025 18:41

looks lovely to me.
If you were happy with it why has this comment from one friend made you so sure that it needs to change immediately?

Original poster
WillowP · 20/09/2025 18:42

Clearinguptheclutter · 20/09/2025 18:34

Looks great. Friend needs to be ditched

not sure why you listened to her tho, if you like it what does it matter?

Thank you. I know what you’re saying but sometimes you need a friend to point out a bad decision- not saying she was right this time but made me think maybe it doesn’t suit me, too light, wrong tone blah blah

OP posts:
Jeschara · 20/09/2025 18:42

Let us know what you decide to do OP, also you don't need to scrutinise and look in the mirror, but she does, she needs to look at herself and find out what makes her such a nasty bitter person.

Original poster
WillowP · 20/09/2025 18:43

TheChosenTwo · 20/09/2025 18:41

looks lovely to me.
If you were happy with it why has this comment from one friend made you so sure that it needs to change immediately?

Thanks, I do like it but it just made me a bit paranoid that it wasn’t that nice or didn’t suit me.

OP posts:
martinisforeveryone · 20/09/2025 18:48

@WillowP when you make a big change you need to live with it for a week or two and perhaps adjust your makeup a bit for a colour change. See how you get on.

I think your hair looks lovely, but even if I didn't I wouldn't be so blunt and rude about it. Frankly, if I had a friend who spoke to me like that I'd smile and say 'no offence, but I've never considered taking style advice from you' See how she feels when someone's equally outspoken.

Alittlefrustrated · 20/09/2025 18:49

Looks lovely OP - your friend, on the other hand, sounds horrible.

Original poster
WillowP · 20/09/2025 18:54

martinisforeveryone · 20/09/2025 18:48

@WillowP when you make a big change you need to live with it for a week or two and perhaps adjust your makeup a bit for a colour change. See how you get on.

I think your hair looks lovely, but even if I didn't I wouldn't be so blunt and rude about it. Frankly, if I had a friend who spoke to me like that I'd smile and say 'no offence, but I've never considered taking style advice from you' See how she feels when someone's equally outspoken.

Yes my hairdresser said that, she said for a while you will get a shock when you look in the mirror and think who’s that! But you will get used to it.

OP posts:
Evaka · 20/09/2025 18:57

Great hair. Ditch the friend.

Why were you willing to dye over based on her rude and unsolicited view if you liked the result?

SardinesOnGingerbread · 20/09/2025 18:57

That looks really pretty. I'm completely happy to tell you if it looks shitty, but in this case it looks good. The oracle has spoken. Now go think about what this friend brings to the table x

Bluddyellfire · 20/09/2025 18:58

WillowP · 20/09/2025 18:31

Yes I was happy, it was quite a drastic change but Hairdresser was brilliant and was in there hours getting it done, just to be told I look ridiculous( think it was her way of saying i was too old for this)

Show quote history

Your 'friend' sounds horrible. Your new hair is lovely!

ursuslemonade · 20/09/2025 19:01

I think it looks great, ignore her. She loves pissing on your parade!

BaskervilleOldFace · 20/09/2025 19:02

I love it, it's beautiful. I bet your friend is envious!

Chiefangel · 20/09/2025 19:06

Your hair looks absolutely amazing so please don’t rush out and buy a box hair dye and cover it based on your friends opinion.
It really sounds like jealously off her. Do not re dye it. Tell her that she alone has been the only person who has been bluntly rude about it. And then I’d rethink the friendship but that’s just me.

Vitriolinsanity · 20/09/2025 19:06

Whatever else you do, don’t box dye over that. It’s a really nice job.

Original poster
WillowP · 20/09/2025 19:06

Evaka · 20/09/2025 18:57

Great hair. Ditch the friend.

Why were you willing to dye over based on her rude and unsolicited view if you liked the result?

A few people have asked this and I don’t know, it made me paranoid and that maybe it didn’t look good and I was deluded. I’m still trying to get used to it myself and to be told it looked ridiculous really upset me and I looked silly with this light blonde hair and should cover it. That’s why I thought I would enter the lions den and get some more honest opinions and if the general consensus was it’s awful then I would know she was right and change it.

OP posts:
MultipleChoice · 20/09/2025 19:07

Firstly, it looks really lovely. Secondly, even if it didn’t (and it really does!) can you imagine ever saying that to a friend, really? Think about it, you’ve had an expensive and lovely process done to your hair and she wants to make you feel bad about it and also to permanently ruin it. She’s horrible. At the very best she has bad taste and bad manners but I think that would be a generous view.

Original poster
WillowP · 20/09/2025 19:09

SardinesOnGingerbread · 20/09/2025 18:57

That looks really pretty. I'm completely happy to tell you if it looks shitty, but in this case it looks good. The oracle has spoken. Now go think about what this friend brings to the table x

Ha thank you. She does have some good points and has helped me through tough times with no nonsense advice, Got to take the rough with the smooth…

OP posts:
PhilMitchellsleatherbomber · 20/09/2025 19:12

I was expecting to see Bet Lynch blonde peroxide hair! Your hair colour is lovely, your friend on the other hand is not, ditch her and the box dye.

Vitriolinsanity · 20/09/2025 19:14

I will say this though, as I’m not sure what colour you were before. I change my hair colour often, and find that clothes/cosmetics that work for one don’t work for another. When I’m blonde navy, burgundy etc work. When I tone down to darker brown dusky, pinkier colours, chocolate or greens work better.