Do you have a 'rock'

[Windsweep33]

I've never had anyone that i could call my 'rock'. Not my dad. Not my mom. Not my siblings. Not my exh. Friends neither. I knew from a young age that this life was for me to handle on my own. No help came to me in terms of emotional issues (boyfriends/friendship struggles or how to choose a partner) or practical issues (help to move house or childcare) or financial issues (no money as a present ever, no help with deposits, no inheritance).

Im in my 40s now and im finally coming to terms with the fact that the strong independent personality I built, was not out of wanting to be like that, but out of necessity. As a young person you rather build an armour and say you chose it, rather than shrivel away with sadness of knowing that no one has your back. Ever.

I think the only people that really care for me are my ds's. My family members have the emptional depth of a mushroom. Happy to see me at Christmas, birthdays etc, but no interest in me as a person. Some have taken advantage and lied. Exh was the same. Obviously. I didn't know any better. It sucks. I wish i had a helping hand with life every now and then. With the kids, with money, with talking about life. Connection.

Thats all. Do you have a 'rock'?

Yes, several - my parents, my husband, my friends - even my animals.

Thats lovely. My cats adore me. Im so lucky to have them. But i wouldnt call them my rocks. They are definitely on the needy side and they are useless at putting up sheves 😄

I do, and I'm sorry that you don't have that in your life.

Im sorry too. It sucks. I look around and i see everyone else get a helping hand with something. They can call their mum/sister when going through something. Or their parents invite them for a holiday, dinner, pay for grandchildrens something. Or they get dads old car to drive or brother helps with renovations or whatever. I have none of that. I really think its shit. I have only just realised this now that this might not be normal.

Haha, they're definitely not my rocks when they bring me half-dead rodents, that's for sure

I’m not sure I do!

I’ve always thought it was an unrealistic concept - but judging by the answers I may have been wrong!

I have good friends and I’d call my family supportive but, idk, calling someone “my rock” suggests a bit of a one-way street and also expecting a lot of that person. I’m definitely not anyone else’s rock other than my children’s.

My mum was the ultimate rock but sadly no longer here. My dad is pretty good to be fair and would never see me or my siblings struggle in anyway but he is set in his ways.....

My wonderful husband of 37 years...my whole world. I am extremely lucky to have found one of the good ones. C

My sister, my best friend, actually my best friends, used to have my dh- he used to be my person, but not really anymore sadly

eta my dad originally but he’s gone a long time now

I don't have one, it's the result of childhood emotional neglect/abuse. I don't even trust anyone other than my DC. It's sad but I don't think there's much we can do about it.

I do, in my husband and a handful of friends. My family of origin, not so much.

Yes- me! I trust myself completely and can get myself out of any situation.

Yes my parents were my rocks. We also were very supportive of them as they got older. My dh would do anything for me - and vice versa. Even my sister - I've had issues over the years with her but she is always there for me and tries to make life easier for me.

I'm trying to be the same kind of parents - our kids are extremely lucky in having real help and support from us. I remember being at a birthday dinner a few years ago. A friend of my son turning 25 and he had a small family/friends dinner. His dad made a little speech and I overheard my son's other friend saying "I wish I had a dad like that". His own dad was useless.

I'm sorry you didn't have that support and help OP. But well done on creating your own family and rearing your children well.

My true friend and rock is myself.
People wise yes 3 of them my sister my gay bestie and my other bestie we all met at school decads ago clicked and that was that.
I can call text day or night even arrive at each others homes any time.
We have each others backs even if we are wrong.
Holiday together trips party etc.
Holidaying can be fun especially when you have a gay friend and we end up in every gay bar.
We spend holiday morning texting each other where are you you alive he was better looking last night pic pic pic french exit. Yeah we are them friends.
Op you will find your rocks you just have to find your kind of people first.

Not really thought about it in that language but no, have not had a rock; not ever been anyone’s rock either. I think I’m a bit addicted to that feeling now, can’t envision myself depending on someone at this stage.

My husband. Always there, without fail, supportive, and would/does drop everything if I need him, without complaining or making me feel like I’m being a pain. He knows me and what I need before I know myself (which sometimes annoys me). He’s also our adult kids’ rock too and I adore that they have him.

No. I am my rock.
I expect nothing from anyone else. It's a good place to be.

I have two excluding ds1 and 2. Those two are often my first port of call if I need anything especially if dh is away with work.

First is dh. He is my absolute cheerleader, backs me up with everything I decide to do picks the slack up if im not feeling great or tired and will make me laugh every day.
Even when he is in a bad mood with me he will still bring me a hot chocolate to bed.
My best friend is also a rock. She has has 3am phone calls and will jump up and do what needs to be done. She is supportive and in many ways my biggest fan.

It has to be said though, its not all take. I would do what ever needs doing to support the lovely people in my life who have always got my back and give me confidence to try something new whether its a new job a new activity or just new ways of seeing things

I do, but my relationship with one of my rocks, my Mum, is shifting as she aged. She's now in her mid 80s and, understandably, it's a different dynamic from when I was younger, and our DC were small

I don’t, the only person I trust is my DS and I think that his dad will eventually turn him against me.
I have had years of abuse through my childhood and early adulthood, which has resulted in BPD. One of my side effect is being paranoid.
I would love to have a best friend though.

Unfortunately, you can very seldom rely entirely on man. Although, as a Christian, I have an entirely dependable God, whom I trust and take refuge in. The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my saviour; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety

Nope. No siblings, weird relationship with my mum. I have loads of friends, but none I would lean on in crisis. I just wouldn’t think to do so. I was sent to boarding school age 7; from that point on I knew it was me myself and I.

Yes my late mum was. Now my dh and my eldest son. I’ve been very lucky

My DH I would say is my rock. He can't put up shelves and doesn't earn any money but he is always there for me in my hour of need.

I on the other hand am the rock to a lot of people - my DH especially, but also my sister, mother, father, and the Ukrainian family we sponsored (even though they have moved out I still help them when they need something). None of these people other than my DH are really capable of doing much to help me if I need it.

Im my rock. I have family not found them to be there when I need them.