AIBU for taking being dumped like a champ?

[Cantgetausername87]

Posted here for traffic and maybe to get some support/ have a laugh and a bit of a chat.
Been seeing this guy for 6months ... seemed to be going well and then he hit me with "I'm just not emotionally invested anymore." It was a weekend thing but I was actually quite happy.
All I said back was OK you've made your mind up and it was nice to meet you, see you around!
Pretty gutted to be honest. AIBU to front it the fuck out, and avoid blocking him to just have an air of indifference, so as to not inflate his ego.
Seeing as it's literally outta the blue I can only imagine he's seeing someone else.
Wise mumsnetters what to do?!

@Cantgetausername87
in retrospect it wasn’t the best - I see people getting handed their marching orders for way less. But it was decades ago and actually not a bad thing in the long run, I was never so daft again after that. But I learned the hard way to take it like a champ so I have a lot of admiration for people who do their future selves a favour and just do it like it should be done from the get-go. The people who say ‘isn’t this just what people do??’ - NO! There are loads of folk who beg/recriminate etc.

FWIW I think blocking is fine, he can think what he likes, whatever brings you peace. X

You just have to accept that perhaps it was a physical attraction on his side and when he got to know you a bit more, he decided you weren’t compatible or that he could see a future with him so he finished the relationship.

He hasn’t done anything wrong and you shouldn’t feel slighted that you weren’t the one for him as it’s better to find out early on than later on that he was only with you for the physical side of things.

I’m sure if you met someone you were attracted to and as the weeks went by realised that whilst he was a perfectly nice man, you didn’t see him as being ‘the one’ and finished it so as not to waste your time or his.

i don’t know why there has to be drama over this and painting him as being in the wrong?!

Eh? Where has OP said she hasn’t accepted it?

She’s given a friendly farewell, that’s the definition of accepting it.

Yeah I'm fairly sure I haven't said I'm cross at him, my only comment is "why are they like that?" As there were zero signs. Like zero. I am grateful that he said now rather than waste more of my time and again I don't think I've been dramatic, and have very much enjoyed this thread for the other stories and opinions.
I'll repeat I think my tone throughout has been lighthearted and not exactly dramatic!

Because either:

• he was waiting until the next woman is reeled in before leaving you
• he wasn’t serious about you but was enjoying your affections as long as possible

I say "Go you!" . Handled it perfectly. Well done. Hope youre ok, and you'll find the right one soon
im sure x

You handled it perfectly. Never, ever waste time on a man who doesn’t appreciate you. Same actually applies to friends and bosses. Wish I’d caught on sooner myself. Well done OP, he’s the loser here, and he can fuck the fuck off to fuckland, you are the Queen of Cool.

I think you did exactly right by blocking him. It ensures that the door is closed to him in the future, when he's feeling lonely and horny (aw diddums 🥲).

A lot of men will try and come crawling back round again, especially if they think you were totally "cool" about the break up. I think some even see it as you being happy for a future hook up, as dumb and egotistical as some of them are! 🤣

Any posters who disagree are either a man, or just extremely bloody lucky that their ex never wants to make contact with them ever again.

I think you played the response bloody well! If at all possible never let on how gutted you are. You've given an indifferent attitude, and it may have left him feeling more than a little miffed!! An indifferent response is hardly the best ego boost is it!! Put it down to experience, give yourself a high five for not letting on how upset you really were and move on!

Done with dignity!

@Peteryourhorseisheree that was a lovely and respectful way to refer to your XDH and his now-wife.

It wasn’t ideal that he had an affair - I wish he’d just been honest that he’d met someone else who made him happier, but it is what it is. Obviously, our marriage had issues.

I like them both and it’s good that they have a happy life together. Me shouting, screaming and blaming would have just made my life suck.

What a perfect way to respond! 👌

Stand up, own it and get on with your life.

Chances are you've dodged a real bullet here, sending hugs xxx

Perfect response in my opinion. I did something similar a few years ago. A guy I'd been seeing for a year suddenly went cold on me, wouldn't answer my texts or calls. Eventually he texted me saying he didn't want to be with me any more. I was gutted,as prior to his behaviour the previous few days, everything has been,to my mind anyway,fine. I just said 'OK,if that's how you feel. See you around maybe some time'. It obviously rattled him,wasn't the response he was expecting because a few minutes later he phoned me. I answered and was very off-hand with him, asking what he wanted. He didn't like that at all. He said 'Why are you being so off with me?'. Un-fucking-believable! A few days later,he obviously changed his mind,and text me, saying he'd 'been joking' when he said he'd wanted to end our relationship. I was like WTAF?! Who jokes about that sort of thing? Suffice to say I didn't go back with him.

Honestly, the only way you could have handled it better would have been to slip in an ingenuous, 'oh my goodness - thankyou! Ive been feeling the same for a while now and just couldnt figure out a way to tell you kindly without hurting your feelings. All the best!'

You were magnificent. Take a little time to regroup and lick your wounds and then get back up and continue with your fabulous life being the absolute catch of the century you evidently are! You sound awesome.

Only drama llamas who love attention and (incorrectly) think they have a right to endlessly invade other people's lives consider blocking anything but what it is - a useful tool to escape those you want nothing to do with. A great way to ensure your personal boundaries are enforced.

People who hate blocking are the ones who have been repeatedly blocked and are enraged that they just can't keep bothering others.

Block him if you want to. Think nothing of it. Adults block if they so choose without a moment's thought. Entirely up to you.

PS, you responded perfectly.

Because you don't want to be spied on? Because you don't want random contact upsetting you when you've sorted your life back out? Because the thought of them having any further involvement with you makes you feel ill? Its the SM equivalent of having a pile of their smelly dirty laundry festering in your house indefinitely ! Block them on every possible level and move on.

That’s shit, OP but I LOVE the way you handled it.

I agree with not blocking him, I guarantee he will be back in touch, and I can’t wait for your lack of response to him.

I don’t like blocking people either being honest , I think its not necessary given we are adults ..
last week was my first time blocking someone..
I went on a date with a guy , 2 dates beginning of summer & I don’t want to pursue, I’ve told him , infact several times , it’s like he thinks I’m trying to play hard to get or something! . I’m not , he’s just not for me ..
He keeps sending me random videos so I just always ignore , then last week I thought this isn’t going to stop so I blocked him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Exactly unblock him lol.

If someone doesn’t want you any more then it’s better to just accept it and move on. You cannot make someone feel something that they don’t. Making them “suffer” or taking some sort of silly revenge only makes them colder and makes it worse for you in the long run. You lose your dignity and self-respect. I was once dumped by a man I was living with, we’d been together two years, I was in my 20s, he had decided he preferred someone else. We had a very reasonable conversation about it all, obviously I wasn’t happy and got a bit tearful at the end. And then he said he would have been “worried” if I hadn’t got upset. So that just about sums it up, the more fuss you make the more it feeds their ego while you damage yourself.

@Cantgetausername87 This. First post nails it again!

Personally I’ve never been blocked in my life , “ People who hate blocking is because they’ve been blocked endless amount of times “ , are “ drama lamas “ , according to you , what an idiotic assumption to make ..

This is a thread from a few years ago but I really admired the way the OP decided to hold her head high and just get through it and get on. She handled his disgusting behaviour beautifully.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text?postsby=user1471427667

There is a part 2 as well.