AIBU for taking being dumped like a champ?

[Cantgetausername87]

Posted here for traffic and maybe to get some support/ have a laugh and a bit of a chat.
Been seeing this guy for 6months ... seemed to be going well and then he hit me with "I'm just not emotionally invested anymore." It was a weekend thing but I was actually quite happy.
All I said back was OK you've made your mind up and it was nice to meet you, see you around!
Pretty gutted to be honest. AIBU to front it the fuck out, and avoid blocking him to just have an air of indifference, so as to not inflate his ego.
Seeing as it's literally outta the blue I can only imagine he's seeing someone else.
Wise mumsnetters what to do?!

I did the same, but have wondered in the years since if that just lets them off scot free. No consequences for their actions.

Commiserations OP. If you want a dumping story, mine, unlike many on here, is less tragic and more chaotic. When I was really young I got spectacularly dumped, at work, by a divorced colleague who was many years older than me (I was naive to the point of being a danger to myself). He had asked me to move in with him but got his ex pregnant. He wept and said he loved me but that his ex who he definitely didn’t want to be with had said she was going to tell everyone exactly what he’d been up to unless he immediately supported her in her decisions and chucked me. I went into work the following day and did HIS work and mine while he took her for a clinic appointment. He persuaded me not to tell anyone or that would mean ‘we could never be together.’ Our boss gave me a row for crying at work later that week and that same night I wept down the phone to him and he was so lovely and sympathetic …then I realised he thought I was her 💀

Other highlights include him shagging me when I went round to collect my stuff because he said he had only just realised how MUCH he loved me (I know - I know) and bemoaning the fact I didn’t work somewhere else because then he could have possibly carried on seeing both of us and taken longer to figure his feelings out. I do look back and wonder why my bar was in the ninth circle of hell at such a young age.

Anyway, point being, I intensely admire people who just say ‘okay then’ and move the fuck on. More power to you 👊

You’ve pulled a blinder. It sounds like he was warming you to downgrade your status to FWB, and now you’ve pulled the rug from under him. He’ll be a bit pissed off i reckon! You’ll have British ego 😁

How condescending

Well you do now! They are two, useful, self-explanatory words. Do you have a problem with them being used in this context, and if so, will you explain why please?

I assumed the poster was saying that to make OP feel better because it’s an odd phrase to use when being dumped, particularly by a man. No big deal?

You’ve done everything I hope I’d do - respect!

It’s horrible to be dumped but I think you handled it well. Agree with not blocking. I was seeing someone very casually, more FWB but more complicated but anyway I ended it last month as I was sick of him ignoring my messages. I feel really crappy about it still, but trying to look to the future and i’ve booked a cruise with my mum which should help. Worse thing is I still have to see him twice a week at work and it is so hard.

@MultipleChoice thanks, thats indeed what I meant.

Same. I think you may have lost the illusion of ‘indifference’ now. The only times I’ve been blocked are when I’ve done the dumping and they’ve been quite emotional over it.

Posters saying ‘he might harass her, they often come crawling back’… In the absence of even one unwanted message, I think blocking is a bit juvenile.

The other person is only going to know if they’re checking in which case, they’re also not indifferent. To me, you do what you need to do to move on, based on what works for you vs the other person, or someone on the internet thinking it’s juvenile. If that’s blocking them, then block them.

I would block only from the point of view it makes it easier to move on not to be reminded of them in any way.

Well done @Cantgetausername87 you handled it well.

Your response to him dumping you speaks volumes of how strong you are OP. Don’t block him or ignore him…….simply say ‘hi’ and smile. Be the bigger person and he will no doubt realise that he has lost more than you. Stay strong 💐

If they are not part of your regular life why would you keep them in your contacts? My FB is friends only, he might be added as a FB friend but after break up he'd then be ditched as a FB friend.

Yeah I never block them. Just mute and lock the chat.

They always come crawling back but I never reply. Winds them up more.

Take yourself out for a day, I'd probably go get my hair done, buy some new shoes, take myself for a hotel chocolate hot chocolate and go for a wonder round a giant bookshop but whatever the equivalent is for you. Just a wee day to focus on things you like and remember how awesome you are.

I wonder if your response is also down to you knowing, deep down in that subconscious of yours that he wasn't right for you anyway. Something in there has kept you 'safe' from his BS or him stringing you along for longer. Be proud of yourself.

The OP was talking about appearing indifferent, which she no longer does. And on Watsapp, your profile pic appears grey when you’ve been blocked, so given they were messaging yesterday it’s going to be pretty obvious regardless of whether he’s looking for it or not.

OP played a blinder with her initial response, but she asked the internet for thoughts, and my thought is that blocking is juvenile, and shows she’s bothered.

Oh my god this sounds absolutely awful, and that you were taken full advantage of! I'm sorry this happened to you x

Yeah I wondered that too. But what consequences are there? How do you not let them off Scott free without losing a bit of yourself / begging them to stay/ try harder x

You did the right thing! Well done OP what a tosser! I haven't got a being dumped story, but I once finished with a guy, I told him it was because he wasn't into me enough and still not over his ex (which was probably true) but actually it was because I was totally in love with a guy at work! He felt so bad he bought me a brand new pair of Nike air max 90s as a leaving present 😂

Anger? "Why have wasted my time when I could've been going out with my friends/the hot barman instead?"

I would quietly and without fanfare unfollow and remove them as a follower on any platforms we were connected on. Unless he’s harassing you, blocking is a bit childish as one PP mentioned.

Well done. Block him anyway so you don’t have a wobble.

protect your sanity. Much better to help moving on. You don’t need to project and air of indifference because what he thinks or doesn’t think no longer matters.

what’s better for you is important. And that’s blocking. Why should he have access to you ever again?

In regards to blocking. I've sort of viewed it as a boundary. OK you're not emotionally invested, no I don't want to be FWB, no you don't want to work on it so don't ever message or talk to me again as there's no reason to.
Some call it juvenile, some taking your power back, and acknowledging acceptance. It was a short term thing and I appreciate him not "leading me on" but it was so out of the blue it can only mean one thing - another woman!