To be really sad at the way my 17 year old DD was treated when she broke down at a roundabout

[Greyhoundmad83]

My DD passed her driving test 2 weeks ago. She's driving my car around on the days I work from home.

Anyway, at rush hour after sixth form, she broke down on a busy roundabout in the middle of the city (the clutch had gone).

She put her emergency lights on and called me. It was very obvious she had broken down. Honestly I was so shocked to hear the beeping, people shouting at her and she said other were laughing as they went past too.

My daughter isn't excessively sensitive, but she was really shaken up.... not by the clutch going, but at the anger people had towards her for breaking down. There are several lanes of traffic, so people could get around her.

Thankfully an older man eventually stopped and managed to get the car into gear and down a side road until I got to her and Greenflag arrived to take it to a garage. I'm so grateful to this guy who had a daughter similar age.

AIBU to be disgusted at the way people treated her? I feel like society has got worse!

My 17 year old is currently learning to drive. I have been surprised and dismayed at how many people beep their horns if she stalls, or rev aggressively behind her, or laugh nastily and make hand gestures. It's awful. I had to get out of the car and swap places with her at a roundabout once because the white van driver behind was so aggressive and she was in tears. He then overtook and cut right across me before I'd even got my seatbelt on.

Some drivers deliberately get right up behind her just to intimidate. I can't understand it.

Good old Britain. We definitely need a lesson in kindness.

Some people are awful when they’re driving, it’s a bit like the keyboard warriors who say stuff online they’d never dare say to someone’s face.

I hope your DD isn’t put off driving.

I once saw a woman trying to push her broken down car out of the way from the middle of a junction. Not being ageist but she was a stereotypical little old lady, how anyone thought she’d manage on her own I don’t know. I stopped and helped and we got it to the side but the number of people who just drove around was shocking.

When I was very young someone drove into me. He was being an arsehole and trying to blame me even though I was stationary. Fortunately a lovely group of men were having a smoke outside the probation office where they'd been visiting their probation officers and had witnessed everything. Not only did they offer to sort out the other driver for me they also called the police and waited with me until they arrived. Heartwarming!
Hope your DD is ok.

OMG your poor DD, that must have been terrifying for her.

Was she ok getting back to driving?

Awful about her back & the police not charging him!!

@Greyhoundmad83 your poor daughter too, since the covid lockdowns the driving/drivers have become absolutely awful. I'm glad the bloke stopped to help her, I hope your car gets sorted & DD's confidence isn't too knocked by this, get her back out there (maybe with you alongside) ASAP xx

It must be those others posters who are shit drivers & are in a world of their own!

The standard of driving has gone down dramatically & increase in ridiculous behaviour has gone up hugely.

you used to be able to assume most drivers were sensible & fairly 'predictable' but now you're forced to assume they're all going to drive like dickheads.

its a whole different experience these days 🙄🥹

I have been driving 41 years) got my licence in NZ when I was 15, it's not like that now there)

I'd HATE to be an adult (or teen) learner now. Anyone learning to drive now has my admiration, especially adults!

I was shocked at the amount of people who beeped at my daughter when she was learning. She never took forever but occasionally she would hesitate or double check before pulling out at a junction, as all learners do, and a good few times someone behind would beep and I just don't understand the mentality, do they really think beeping is going to make an already nervous learner go any faster?!

This is just what people are like these days, getting more and more selfish and self obsessed. Luckily there will always be some good eggs like the man who helped her.

Some people are just pricks. She'd clearly not just decided to dump her car on a roundabout for shits and giggles. She should've just given them the middle finger and ignored them.

6.5 years ago I drove home from work and halfway home my clutch broke. I managed to pull onto the pavement by a crossing. I rang the RAC - who i was with at the time. A man hurled abuse at me saying that I should not be on the phone with my car parked like that.

I said I’m on the phone to the RAC you ignorant idiot. The guy from the RAC overheard me and said what I said was nothing as used to hearing other people shouting “can’t park here” and similar.

I do hope the abusers towards the PP’s DD get karma

While there were clearly some wankers completely unfairly directing abuse at her, it might be the case that some of the beeping/shouting etc was actually directed at other drivers reacting to the obstruction (i.e. slamming on the brakes, swerving around it and going into someone else's lane without looking) rather than all at her.

Also bear in mind that her obstruction might be the final straw that tipped people over the edge (not that that makes it fair or right, of course).

Over the course of a 5 minute trip yesterday I had one person pull out ahead of me, one who had (I assume, as they had lights flashing) broken down in the middle of a busy road, and then another who just didn't go after lights had turned green on a right turn, and who was clearly staring at their phone, to the extent that cars were pulling out again (after having just switched lanes once to avoid the broken down car in the next lane) to go round them.

The later received a lot of angry beeps, and I'm sure to them, if they were lost and trying to work out where to go, felt unnecessarily aggressive, but tbh I was fed up of having to swerve in and out of lanes and react quickly to so many unexpected issues, so can imagine others felt similarly.

Basically there are a lot of idiotic and unsafe road users, so although your dd just had one of those accidents that could have happened to anyone, those passing didn't know that and might have just lumped her in with all the rest, feeling that she 'deserved' to be laughed at.

Or, of course, it could be sexism. Very possible they wouldn't have made stupid comments at a big bloke.

I have seen people stop in the middle of a busy roundabout to check their phone/sat nav, presumably to figure out which exit they wanted, though. It isn't completely beyond the realms of possibility that anyone could be so daft.

This.

A few years ago my car broke down and was unmovable until I could get a low loader to it. Fortunately I was at the side of a wide road with good visibility so I wasn't causing much of an obstruction.

I must have spent a couple of hours stood beside my car but I was agreeably surprised just how many people stopped to ask if I needed any help and if I was OK. People of all ages. So I think I agree with you there are more good people than bad.

Nothing surprises me after the evening we came a car stopped with its indicator flashing in rush hour traffic. Cars continued to blow horns and aggressively pull around the car - and ours, and the van that pulled over to help to- while we discovered the driver having a heart attack. I mean if you have 3 vehicles pulled over, someone on the phone, another kneeling on the road leaning to the car and another trying safely direct traffic is it not clear something is vert wrong? What point are you trying to make with your car horn as you whip past the drivers door and the guy kneeling there?
People can be so shockingly self centered, it's disgusting

Did she have her P plates on? I passed my test this earlier this year and I took my plates off sooner than I would have liked because people were being such cunts, to the point of being dangerous. Lots of driving up my bum and agressively honking as soon as lights turned green. To aggressive, impatient drivers, P plates are like red rag to a bull.

I really hope this doesn't put her off driving. I had someone go into the back of me a couple of weeks before my test. The best advice my instructor gave me was to get back behind the wheel ASAP (he booked me in the next day for an informal drive about) and I'm so glad I did. Once her car is fixed, she needs to get straight back out there.

Some people are just arseholes; my partner's motorbike broke down in a tunnel and he had people beeping at him as though he had just stopped to enjoy his surroundings 🙄
I hope she hasn't taken it too much to heart.

I once broke down at the bottom of a slip road, my car could not start to be moved. It was not an overly busy slip road and had with a long straight. My hazard lights were on and I was stood on the verge next to it with my toddler in his pushchair and was also 7 months pregnant. The number of people who pulled up behind a car with its hazard lights on and beeped at an empty car then gave me evil looks as I tried to wave them around it was insane! Yes, I chose to break down whilst I was driving to drop my toddler at nursery before going to work! It’s exactly what my day needed!

Part of the problem is that there are just too many people. This country is overcrowded. (Actually, the world is overcrowded. We’ve gone from three billion in 1960 to eight billion today.) And when you cram people on top of one another they get on each other’s nerves. I think that’s why people seem so much nastier and more aggressive in cities than in the countryside.

People are too focused on themselves, and don't think about others.

I was a bit older than your daughter but broke down on a quiet road. Put hazard warning lights on, plenty of space to go past me, and people still beeped.

I have also broken down on a main road, just after 5pm. It is busy at any time of day, but especially then. I was in the right hand of two lanes due to the direction I was travelling.

A police car stopped and checked we were OK. We were, we were out of the car ( stood on a small pavement nect to the barrier), and rac had already bern called. If they were concerned they vould have blocked the road and pushed us to the left lane and into a nearby car park for a furniture shop.

I had no beeping, cars just changed lanes to go around me. A few stopped and offered help. Some of the people in the houses the other side of the road offered us a cup of tea if we wanted one.

There are people that are helpful or patient, and those that are not. Luckily your daughter had someone helpful go past, even if there were unhelpful ones first.

Someone ran into the back of my daughter's car when she was stationery at a set of red traffic lights. He got out and screamed and cursed at her until her brother got put of the car and very politely asked the man was he shouting because he was so shocked by what he had done. All shouting immediately stopped. The police who turned up shortly afterwards took a very dim view. Especially as a very nice lady two cars behind hung around to tell the police exactly what had happened. Some drivers are real morons and I hope your daughter is ok.

A similar thing with emergency vehicles wanting to pass through when on emergency call. This morning, there were two fire engines that came through whilst I was at some traffic lights (3 lanes) Car to my left, mounted a bit on pavement, I moved to the left. Guy in car to my right took a bloody age to steer right.

it’s me me me attitude which pisses me off

Oh gosh, yes. I moved to a different town last year, and the amount of times I've been crossing the road and a car has sailed past is insane. I saw it a few times in the place I used to live, here it's multiple times a day! I've started avoiding going to the high street during rush hour, as it's absolutely dreadful then, and it's not me who's going to get hit, it's DS in his buggy. 😔 Funny how it's the posher town that's worse! I miss where I used to live for many reasons, but a pedestrianised high street is a biggie.

It’s nothing new. Forty years ago I slipped on some ice while crossing a road on foot, and while I was lying there in pain with a badly sprained ankle several drivers hooted and shouted at me. Not one stopped to help.
Arseholery is timeless.

I had the exact same response when my clutch went in the middle of a junction a few months ago. It was ages before one lovely man stopped and pushed my car into a nearby bus stop (I'd rung the police for help with traffic management but was still waiting).

I'm a lot older than your daughter and have been driving 20 years so the breaking down didn't bother me but people's reactions did leave me quite shaken. It must have been absolutely awful for a 17 year old who is a new driver.

I hope she is OK and this doesn't put her off driving.