Is it as easy as mindset?

[autienotnaughty]

I was talking to a friend earlier this week and we got onto the conversation of mind set. My friend is rarely ill and will keep going with a cold etc. if something puts her to bed it has to be ‘really bad’
I don’t get ill much these days (but did when kids were little) I often find a cold will stop me at least for a couple of days. So if I can I’m in bed due to pounding headache, painful sinuses, fatigue/dizziness . I also suffer with back pain, migraine and tbh menopause.
is it as simple as mindset or do some people feel worse than others/get worse symptoms?
I grew up in this culture of people who struggle more with pain/illness are weak so I aways feel guilty if I’m ill.

How old is your friend out of interest?

Mindset definitely plays a part when we are talking about colds etc

not migraines!!

No. It’s not as simple as mindset.

That’s just a thing people say.

Often to people who tend to moan to them a lot about every sniffle and sneeze

We are both 49.

I do try to have a positive mindset generally but things do put me to bed sometimes. Whereas friend says she just keeps going and it’s all in the head.

I would imagine it's a bit of both. I'm v.v rarely ill and have maybe had two days off work in the last decade for anything that was illness related rather than child related. I'm also v "resilient" and tend to crack on and deal with whatever turns up. I don't panic or lie awake worrying about stuff I can't control. When disaster strikes I sort it out in a step by step way. It's just who I am. I don't think I'm better than other people who maybe struggle a bit more but I do think some things are a choice.
I teach teens and the level.of drama we get now about tiny, minor things that require a visit to the counsellor, a private chat, parental involvement and lengthy meetings. A lot of people do seem in general less able to cope with normal life and setbacks now.

I think being stressed has a massive impact on the body and lowers the immune system. So maybe more relaxed laid back people are less likely to suffer with colds etc 🤷‍♀️

For a cold, yes I think it’s possible to keep going whilst feeling ill, so maybe it is more mindset. Personally, I keep up with the painkillers / fluids and lemsips for the symptoms. It would have to be something severe for me to need to stay in bed.

it feels like there is this pressure especially for women to keep going. There’s the stereotype of man flu where men will go to bed when ill. But who’s the fool there? The man who feels ill so rests or the woman who keeps going despite feeling shocking? (Obviously sometimes there’s no choice when you have kids or can’t afford to take the time off work. )

it feels like there is this pressure especially for women to keep going. There’s the stereotype of man flu where men will go to bed when ill. But who’s the fool there? The man who feels ill so rests or the woman who keeps going despite feeling shocking? (Obviously sometimes there’s no choice when you have kids or can’t afford to take the time off work. )

Its a bit of both. People are often able to rally for things that motivate them and they don't want to miss, but not for the humdrum less pleasant things. So I think attitudes can vary depending on how positive you are about life in general. That said there are variations in base line health between people that mean someone feels worse with a similar condition. I think as we get older the key is to do all we can to raise the baseline. Eat well, excercise, enough rest, manage weight, to give ourselves the best fighting chance.

My late H never ever took time off work. No matter how bad a cold or how poorly he felt he went in. And my son is like his Dad - he can and does work through a cold despite feeling rotten. So I've never experienced this " man flu " in my family life.

I, on the other hand, get knocked for six by a cold. It's mainly the overwhelming need to sleep and the tired eyes that means I generally have to take to my bed for a couple of days. And if I don't take care of myself it develops into chest infections. When I was younger the wracking coughs I ended up with were horrendous and frightening.

I've always felt really guilty about this. I do wonder if the pp who suggested the effect of stress on the immune system might be true though. My life is defined by stress.

Op… are you still being threatened with the sack for time off?

I take painkillers and work through migraines because thankfully mine are very mild these days (used to be worse when I was younger). A lot of colds and viruses just floor me, though. And if I try and push through I end up making myself ill for weeks or months. I do think stress is a factor.

We're all born with different bodies and immune systems and energy levels. Some people have colds and aren't knocked for six, others are.

I've always tended to be a 'push through' type but what I've discovered is if I properly reat for a couple of days the cold passes quickly, when I keep going it, especially the accompanying cough drag on for weeks, so I now try to rest when ill if possible.

For my chronic back pain? I’m due to start a phased return, but yes it was hinted at but I don’t think they would have a case as all I need is a lumbar support chair which is a reasonable adjustment.

I think this is it in a nutshell.
Most people COULD carry on if their lives depended on it, but many choose not to (including most men!)
We all make our choices.

Migraines put me to bed. I vomit and the pain is so intense I can't do anything - luckily I haven't suffered with these for years
A simple cold I just carry on, even the symptoms you say, it's uncomfortable and I'd rather not but just get on with it 🤷🏻‍♂️

For some illnesses then yes, I do think a positive mindset helps to get through.

If I get a cold or similar virus, it always floors me. I’m rarely ill but am wiped out with a cold and end up in bed for a couple of days.

It is experienced differently by different people.

I had a camera up my nose and down my throat as I regularly lose my voice. It was difficult. Turns out I have unusually narrow twisty sinuses, which explains why with every cold, blowing my nose achieves nothing and I feel as if I’ve been hit in the face with a brick.

If you have different shaped sinuses, you’ll feel much better.

However, I clearly remember being in school staff room, fighting to stay at work, with my inhaler clutched in my hand. As we started to discuss a difficult situation you could hear my breathing change and I started to cough. So, yes I felt wretched and yes, stress was making it far worse than it needed to be.

You can’t tell someone who is floored by a cold to ‘just get on with it’. However if someone is having a lovely time being ill, they could probably actually do something useful. I have a miserable time when I’m ill 🤧. I’m best left in bed to snort and puff and pant in peace.

It also depends how often you get things. I have a chronic sinus condition that makes me partial to getting colds. I have to keep going or I'd be having days off several times per year. There's a big difference between a cold (which I'd define as blocked/runny nose, sneezing, headache) and a fever where you can't control your body temperature, you lose your appetite and you need to sleep regardless of the time of day. The latter I go to bed for. Luckily not had one of those since Covid 3 years ago.

I’m not sure which round the poll was. I said YABU to think it’s just a case of mind over matter, or your friend is BU at least. Some people are just more fragile than others it seems. We also have particular weaknesses. If I get ill I usually get a pounding headache with it. My DH gets a really sore throat. I’m sure some people do give in to feeling ill too easily, but I think the majority of people who say it’s about frame of mind are just lucky enough to have a strong constitution.

Rubbish. I mean sometimes I have a cold and I can push through even though I feel rough. I think that might be what she’s on about. However sometimes it’s a bad cold or a migraine and I feel awful and need some time off work etc.
Mindset will not fix headache, body aches, sore throat, fever etc. It’s just levels of how ill you are and maybe she never gets it that bad.