Is it as easy as mindset?

[autienotnaughty]

I was talking to a friend earlier this week and we got onto the conversation of mind set. My friend is rarely ill and will keep going with a cold etc. if something puts her to bed it has to be ‘really bad’
I don’t get ill much these days (but did when kids were little) I often find a cold will stop me at least for a couple of days. So if I can I’m in bed due to pounding headache, painful sinuses, fatigue/dizziness . I also suffer with back pain, migraine and tbh menopause.
is it as simple as mindset or do some people feel worse than others/get worse symptoms?
I grew up in this culture of people who struggle more with pain/illness are weak so I aways feel guilty if I’m ill.

And if you’re absolutely honest with yourself, when you do infrequently get together, do you find yourself (understandably) talking a lot about all your chronic conditions op?

Honestly no, usually we meet with two other friends and we all take a turn to offload. My offload is usually more about dh or ds! . Another friend is going through a nasty divorce I’d say last time we met she talked the most.

i don’t really like talking about it as it defines me enough already. I don’t even talk about it much at home anymore.

I must have subconsciously known something was brewing. Last night I started with my first cold in about a year!! (No doubt thanks to seeing my snotty nieces a few days ago)
Headaxhe , sinus pain, blocked ears and nose, dizziness, fatigue . Oh the joys!

So she was talking In a general sense rather than directing it at you?

The conversation about mindset? Yes it started from a friend of hers who’s always ill (in her opinion) but I don’t know if she feels that way about me.
Shes the same about mental health, a mutual friend of ours has suffered with her mental for twenty years and she has expressed frustration at friends inability to get out of it. She was very approving when i developed severe anxiety (after a frightening experience) at how I worked hard to overcome it/manage it.

Do you like her OP? She doesn’t sound very pleasant.

We have been friends a long time , she’s funny and good company, she has been hugely successful in life which has led to some snobbery and judgement of others. She has a hard side to her that she didn’t use to have.
I enjoy her company i n small doses but couldn’t live with her now.

She sounds unpleasant to me 🤷‍♀️

Likely a bit of both. There’s actually a really interesting book on this topic!

www.penguin.co.uk/books/55307/why-do-people-get-ill-by-darian-leader-david-corfield/9780141021218

How do you have time to take to your bed when ill?! It’s a very old fashioned thing just to go to bed when ill. I suffer from chronic sinusitis, migraine, a back injury, an old rotator cuff injury and I currently have an avulsion fracture. I have a house to run, animals to look after, a child to look after and a full time job. I keep going. I pay for private treatment for my shoulder, back and fracture thanks to the no hope service being so hopeless. Only time I take to my bed like a maiden aunt is if I’ve a migraine. Mindset has a part to play. And I think, in general, as a population we are way too soft and lack resilience

Certain things you can manage with mindset e.g. a cold or headache - take Paracetamol and cups of tea and go about your day as best you can.

But in the 10 years when I suffered severe migraines I just had to yield to it and could barely lift my head off the pillow, unless to vomit. Same with 'flu - your body aches, limbs are weak and you have to take to your bed to wait it out.

No one will die if shit doesn’t get done, especially at the weekend.

Depends on your commitments. I have horses to feed and a dog to walk. I have dragged myself away from the bathroom when I had D&V bug to sort them. I’m widowed, I have no family close by and no hubby to help. I can’t lie in bed feeling sorry for myself. Lucky you if you can but others can’t!

I do think some of it comes down to mindset. Certain people are generally just stronger than others and are able to cope much better under stress so maybe generally not feel as unwell as someone who doesn't. There's also other factors like their general health. Some people eat really healthy so will have a better immune system than someone who rarely eats fruit and veg and then other people exercise a lot so will have better lungs and they will also cope better under stress etc...

There are too many variables to say whether it 100% comes down to mindset or not.