Is it as easy as mindset?

[autienotnaughty]

I was talking to a friend earlier this week and we got onto the conversation of mind set. My friend is rarely ill and will keep going with a cold etc. if something puts her to bed it has to be ‘really bad’
I don’t get ill much these days (but did when kids were little) I often find a cold will stop me at least for a couple of days. So if I can I’m in bed due to pounding headache, painful sinuses, fatigue/dizziness . I also suffer with back pain, migraine and tbh menopause.
is it as simple as mindset or do some people feel worse than others/get worse symptoms?
I grew up in this culture of people who struggle more with pain/illness are weak so I aways feel guilty if I’m ill.

A quick Google search will tell you that the same virus can effect people differently.

Why is it difficult to comprehend that some people will have same virus with worse symptoms?

Absolutely

but no one can know that for sure. Two people could have same mildness or severity of a virus but one manages a lot better than the other.

It needn’t be one OR the other

When you have little kids (primary school age), you have to rest when you can as you can’t rest in the evenings. Therefore you might find yourself calling in sick more so that you can rest during the working day and recover.

When your kids are older or grown, or you don’t have any, can “push through” the working day knowing you can rest in the evenings and get an early night!

No. Mindset alone will not prevent or cure an illness. It does obviously play a large part in your ability to cope when you're not 100%. Which is not to say you shouldn't rest when you need to...it's all about balance and knowing your limits. If you've got a vague sniffle, going about your normal business isn't going to harm you or prevent you getting better. If you've got a more severe illness, pushing through will likely delay your recovery or sometimes make you worse. Sometimes, however, there isn't a choice. Your reference to women pushing through while men don the dressing gown of doom isn't quite how I see it...women in those situations usually carry on because they have to.

I’ve had a head cold for the last few days and it’s floored me. That said I have ME/CFS and Fibro so I’m probably not a straightforward example. I have spent most of the days sleeping and haven’t been able to function even at my normal level. I’ve had a pounding headache, sore throat, earache, blocked nose and sinus pain. The blocked nose is one of my worst symptoms because it seems to wear me out more when I can’t breathe.

But that’s being physically weaker, which is not a mindset. Some people are genuinely physically weaker just because they are. A mixture of genetics, availability of healthy food etc while the body is growing, and not suffering any major setbacks. It’s not a mindset it’s luck.

To all the "it's mindset" posters on here - where do you draw the line?

Just at something you really sufffer with, like migraines? Funny, that.

Do you draw the line at bacterial infections? Viruses? Cancer??

I went to a strict boarding school. Where we all ate the same things So, a controlled environment.

I got horrific mouth ulcers, other infections, and developed bronchitis when everyone else was just getting colds.

But sure, it was down to my mindset 🙄

Maybe she has a strong immune system and doesn’t get as symptomatic as others. We all saw differences in how covid affected us, I had a sore throat for 3 days, my husband and daughter were floored and needed a week in bed.

Can’t stand these “heroes” though who refuse to acknowledge they need to rest

Ha ha. "Mindset definitely plays a part, except for this condition that I suffer with!"

😆

At a cold. A cold is not something you should be laid up in bed feeling all sorry for yourself about. God, I'd be forever languishing in bed the amount of colds and bugs that come into this house. It's not something that is incapacitating.

So for me I do have things like migraines. I'm fortunate enough not to have had cancer.

But the point I'm making is that I can, and do, sometimes give in to feeling ill, wallow, lie in bed, feel sorry for myself. That has literally never made me feel better. If I'm ill I go to bed early, I might nap, I may take the day off. But I try not to just feel sorry for myself, if I'm that ill I try not to just watch TV or eat crap. What I try and do, is whatever it is, sniffles, migraine, chronic pain, try and accept that I'm not at my best and do everything I still can in that situation, even if it's just getting fresh air and going round the block, or enforcing a nap in bed. If I do that I normally feel much better very quickly, the amount of times I've felt like I just want to lie on the sofa and feel sorry for myself and after a 20 minute walk I actually feel fine. Or I think I can't handle a situation but I say I'll try it and see how I go, and then actually I feel fine and enjoy myself.

Saying mindset plays a big part doesn't mean you aren't ever ill, it just means you try not to make it the entire focus of what's going on... At least for me

*Edited to change a nonsensical sentence I typed while speaking to my husband

Nailed it

100% nailed it

I don’t suffer from migraines (thank goodness! In fact can’t even remember last time I had a headache!)

That is exactly what happens the small handful of times she is ill

Yes close friend but we don’t see loads of each other due to distance. I am reflecting now does she include my chronic pain condition ?? I assumed she meant general viruses but now I’m second guessing.

For you. It's not incapacitating for you.

Do you actually think that everybody in this world has as strong an immune system as you do? Or has the strength to fight these things off like you do?

So many judgey people on this thread. Who, funnily enough, don't think it's down to mindset when it's something that they suffer from, like migraines.

My DH occasionally gets a migraine. Lies down for a couple of hours, off it goes, up he gets. Whereas I have a friend who gets absolutely debilitating migraines, can't remember the name of her DH or DC. Two days in a darkened room. But sure, it's mindset 🙄

For you. It's not incapacitating for you

isn’t that the entire thrust of the OP?

The same virus affects people differently. For some it will upset their stomach but for others it will settle on their chest and the same virus will cause headaches and temperature in other people. I can't stand having a head cold but can work quite happily with a chest cold.

well no.
you seem catch no just colds, but whole bacterial infections with fever, etc - that is different

It really depends on the cold, and on some extent, the person (as in their immune system rather than mind set).

A normal cold,I don’t even bother with paracetamol most times.

A shitty (or sinusy ) one where my head feels like it weighs 5 tonnes, I can’t breathe, my eyes are leaky, ears blocked , shivers , I’m dizzy all the time etc. if I can, I sleep it off. If I have to go into work , dose myself up , load on painkillers, try and make it through the day and crash when home. A few times I was so run down I got delightful things like conjunctivitis or tonsillitis as a bonus.

Just like covid. One time I was delirious in bed and even my hand touching my skin was painful, one time I didn’t even knew I had it (just a few sneezes here and there) and only found out because of weekly testing.

Nothing to do with mindset.

Mindset is to know the difference between being lazy waking up sharply and vigorously in the morning than having real depression - that is the mindset, knowing what is what. Being seriously physically ill and needing bed, that is not a mindset, lol

Year ago, a roommate of mine made a huge thing about never being sick, never getting a vomiting bug, mind over matter etc.

DH was a teacher and came down with noro one winter. He got, then I got it. Roommate kept on and on about mind over matter, she wouldn't get sick etc etc.

The next morning I left the sick bowl and a bottle of water outside her room after I heard her chucking up all night.

So yeah, it's bullshit spouted by lucky idiots.

The last time I had a day off work for illness (besides mandated absence for Covid) was 2012 when I had norovirus.
I get regular migraines, but luckily can still work through them - I appreciate this isn’t the case for everyone.
If I have a cold, I would dose up on medication and keep going, but I’d have to get up for the school run and as a teacher, I’d still be expected to set cover work so unless I’m literally at death’s door, it’s less stressful to just go to work.