To ask my dad to pay for my wedding dress?

[LoveMyGirls]

I have found the cheapest/ most beautiful dress it's half price (£450 instead of £900) my dad wants me to find cheaper/ hire one.

I have tried everywhere I can think of, not many places hire and if they do it costs more to hire than to buy the one I want.

He hasn't said he won't pay for it but how unreasonable am I being if I insist I want this dress? Should I pay for it myself? (I'm far from rich, I've been with my dp for nearly 7 yrs and he has finally asked me!)

I even went to oxfam today and not only are some of them hideous but they aren't that cheap (£150 - £350) and would need alterations and cleaning.

AIBU?

it's not very traditional to leave home and have your own family before you get married though is it belgo?

Show him the thing in the weekend papers saying how much Wayne Rooney is spending on the wedding then let him be thankful you are not Coleen and don't want a £2000 wedding dress.

Can you meet him half way on the cost?

but he obviously doesn't want to pay for it, why should he have to?

Has he offered to contribute a certain amount or is it that it is beyond your budget and you're asking him to pay out the extra ? I fear the days of expecting dad to pay for all are over and tbh I think you should plan to buy according to what you can afford and see if he then offers. Monsoon and other high st retailers do dresses for less.

Can your dad actually afford to pay this much out? £450 is still a lot of money, regardless of whether it is the norm for a wedding dress or not.

If he can't/won't then there is nothing you can do about it. It would be unreasonable to expect him to pay for it certainly.

I looked around all over as I wa son a budget getting my dress. I paid myself having previously lived with DH for a while and felt it wrong to ask for help (my choice) from parents. My dress, brand new from a bridal shop, with alterations was £250. Granted this was 10 years ago. But cheaper dresses can be found.

Shops such as BHS now do wedding dresses ad some of these look lovely on, and come in far cheaper than traditional bridal shops.

However, if you want the dress you currently like you have to be prepared to contribute towards, or pay in full, for it.

I think you should pay the difference

I must admit when I got married there was not half the choice there is now. THe shoes, dresses etc are all far prettier now, and probably more affordable.

It's the only thing I wanted him to pay for I didn't think I was being unreasonable that's why I've come here to ask before I speak to him again about it.

He didn't offer I asked but was prepared for him to say no.

Oh well, in that case. tell him to get his wallet out and scrape off the cobwebs.

It's £100 deposit then pay if off before the wedding.

Would he buy you the dress instead of a wedding gift?

so he didn't offer, you asked? He doesn't want to spend as much as you would like and you are wondering whether you would be unreasonable to insist that you want this dress?

Yet another thing I don't understand {sigh}

I wouldn't expect a gift on top of the money for the dress.

Yes BM

But my dad is an accountant he's never going to offer to put his hand in his pocket.

Kimi, I can guarantee you Coleen will spend a lot more than £2000 on her wedding dress!

Lovemygirls, YANBU. it's your special day and you should wear the dress you love. If dad can't spend that much then you can pay the difference.

Mine was just over £1000 but where I come from people spend a lot more on average.
My most extravagant expense was top make-up artist. Hell was it worth it!!!

Is your Dad paying for anything else for the wedding. If he is then you are being unreasonablebut if he isn't then you are not being unreasonable. £450 is a very good price for a wedding dress.
DD1 is getting married next year. She is paying for her own Wedding Dress but we are paying for the reception plus other bits and pieces.

I think YABU

"It's the only thing I wanted him to pay for"

As others have said he doesn't have to pay for anything. I think you are being rather unreasonable. Obviously it is hard, you want your day to be perfect and you have fallen in love with this dress but is it worth falling out with your father? Could you not get someone to copy the dress and make it for a fraction of the price?

No my dad isn't paying for anything else

You asked

Blimey, I am honestly quite shocked at that. I would never ever ask my dad to pay for any part of my wedding.
If he offered then yeah great, but to ask.

Ask your Dad for a contribution towards the dress, as he clearly does want to help out.

That way you can put it towards whatever you like, and you don't have to get his approval over the choice of dress.

I think a lot of people don't realise the costs of wedding stuff. My elderly Grandmother offered to pay for a relatives wedding cake as her present - they presented her with a bill for £500+ !!! She was sooo shocked but still paid.

I agree with the others, tell your Dad that you would love for him to contribute towards your dream dress and make up the rest of the cost yourself.

Missed an 00 it should have been £200,000

Are you lot seriously loaded? I had dd1 at 17 I've been skint ever since, I've been with my dp for 7 years, we now had dd2 (we're not having anymore) I've always worked really hard, we both have but we're still in debt BUT we really want to be married.
If it was still tradition for parents to pay for the whole wedding we'd have been married already, I don't think it's that shocking to ask my parents for help if they say no then that's fine.