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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is the public directing their anger at the individual asylum seeker that arrives at the shore…

882 replies

AnotherNC12345 · 17/09/2025 10:54

… rather than the smuggling / trafficking gangs that are responsible for the journey?

I think it’s very extreme to put all of the blame and the anger at the individual that arrives, rather than the people responsible for orchestrating the whole process. These individuals are often ‘sold the dream’ and hooked in by organised crime groups who direct them to the UK. I’ve looked at sample routes from different parts of the world (screenshots may be pending) and these are complex and would need local people, as well as law enforcement, customs officers and other government officials to turn a blind eye involved in smuggling across multiple borders.

It’s no secret that these crossings likely cost a lot of money, and I think it would be safe to assume that refugees would often be in crippling debt to the OCGs who will put pressure on them to pay it back, by threatening them and their families and I would go as far as to say they could then be coerced in to further committing crimes when granted asylum in order to pay back their debt.

These OCGs are likely involved in other trafficking / crime, not just of asylum seekers but likely drugs, weapons and sex as they have the connections across those borders.

I think it’s very unlikely that an asylum seeker is sitting there looking at all the European government websites and shopping for a country with the best benefits package and approaching a trafficker with a brochure like they’re picking a Jet2 holiday. But this is the narrative that’s often put us and fuelled in the media.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to have a better system and want to control our borders better on a whole, but this sheer anger and blame placed at the human in front of us seems very misplaced, when they were likely manipulated in to thinking they can have a better life in this particular country and not another, and the problem is way way bigger than an individual.

Why is the public directing their anger at the individual asylum seeker that arrives at the shore…
Why is the public directing their anger at the individual asylum seeker that arrives at the shore…
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
OwlBeThere · 18/09/2025 15:03

NotABiscuitInSight · 18/09/2025 09:05

They would make up a lot more if you were in charge.

Would they? Why?

OwlBeThere · 18/09/2025 15:06

ColdSalads · 18/09/2025 10:52

Why not stay with your family and your support network and work to make everyone's lives in your home town or village better?

Because often they will be killed. That’s why they are seeking asylum, they are not safe to remain in their country.

OwlBeThere · 18/09/2025 15:12

PurpleNurple23 · 18/09/2025 11:36

Why are they coming here and not staying in the first safe harbour they reach? Why are they not going to countries more culturally compatible with them? Why are they risking their life to flee France?

Already asked and answered multiple
times in the thread.
the vast majority DO stay in countries like Iran and Türkiye. Some want to get further away.
They are risking their lives presumably for a reason. Maybe they don’t feel safe in France. Perhaps if you talk to the odd immigrant and get their side of a story you’ll Learn something.

PurpleNurple23 · 18/09/2025 15:33

OwlBeThere · 18/09/2025 15:12

Already asked and answered multiple
times in the thread.
the vast majority DO stay in countries like Iran and Türkiye. Some want to get further away.
They are risking their lives presumably for a reason. Maybe they don’t feel safe in France. Perhaps if you talk to the odd immigrant and get their side of a story you’ll Learn something.

Why would they not feel safe in France? I've been to Paris and I liked it there. Lovely patisseries. If I simply didn't like France as a place to live and work I wouldn't risk potential death at sea.

But I'll read up thread as you suggested.

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 15:40

BeHappySloth · 17/09/2025 15:42

Yes, he was British. Are you trying to imply that he wasn't? On what grounds, exactly?

Is it because he isn't white? Because his parents were immigrants? Please explain what exactly you're "not swallowing" any more. Don't be coy, tell us what you actually mean.

He hated British people. He’s not British, he didn’t identify as British.

SleeplessInWherever · 18/09/2025 15:46

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 15:40

He hated British people. He’s not British, he didn’t identify as British.

I hate quite a lot of British people, I’m still British.

You can’t identify as British, you either are (legally) or you aren’t. He was born here, he is British.

LittleBitofBread · 18/09/2025 15:48

PurpleNurple23 · 18/09/2025 15:33

Why would they not feel safe in France? I've been to Paris and I liked it there. Lovely patisseries. If I simply didn't like France as a place to live and work I wouldn't risk potential death at sea.

But I'll read up thread as you suggested.

You're just having a laugh now.

NotABiscuitInSight · 18/09/2025 16:00

OwlBeThere · 18/09/2025 15:03

Would they? Why?

Because I reckon you don't believe in Border control.

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 16:05

SleeplessInWherever · 18/09/2025 15:46

I hate quite a lot of British people, I’m still British.

You can’t identify as British, you either are (legally) or you aren’t. He was born here, he is British.

In your opinion. I’m sorry you are struggling that others don’t agree with you, it must be challenging for you.

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 16:06

OwlBeThere · 18/09/2025 15:12

Already asked and answered multiple
times in the thread.
the vast majority DO stay in countries like Iran and Türkiye. Some want to get further away.
They are risking their lives presumably for a reason. Maybe they don’t feel safe in France. Perhaps if you talk to the odd immigrant and get their side of a story you’ll Learn something.

Why do they want to get further away?

LittleBitofBread · 18/09/2025 16:07

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 16:05

In your opinion. I’m sorry you are struggling that others don’t agree with you, it must be challenging for you.

He was born in the UK. He holds a British passport.
Please, explain to me as if I was five years old: in what way(s) is he not British?

SleeplessInWherever · 18/09/2025 16:11

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 16:05

In your opinion. I’m sorry you are struggling that others don’t agree with you, it must be challenging for you.

No, no - that’s just how the law works.

There is no “opinion” on Britishness, you either are legally or you’re not.

We can’t just say the ones we don’t like aren’t.

BeHappySloth · 18/09/2025 16:16

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 15:40

He hated British people. He’s not British, he didn’t identify as British.

On what grounds exactly are you saying that he isn't British?

What is your evidence exactly for saying that he didn't identify as British?

And if he were to say that he does regard himself as being British, would you then consider him to be British?

BeHappySloth · 18/09/2025 16:20

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 16:05

In your opinion. I’m sorry you are struggling that others don’t agree with you, it must be challenging for you.

Why are you patronising the pp? She is not expressing an opinion, she is talking about the law. It is irrelevant if you disagree with it.

MsJinks · 18/09/2025 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 16:29

LittleBitofBread · 18/09/2025 16:07

He was born in the UK. He holds a British passport.
Please, explain to me as if I was five years old: in what way(s) is he not British?

Clinging to literal mindedness …what does it achieve.

He hated Brits, he didn’t want to be British. I understand you are clinging onto paperwork……why? What’s the point? He preferred Rwanda, no doubt. His choice.

usernamealreadytaken · 18/09/2025 16:37

TheLivelyViper · 17/09/2025 12:44

Well being a man doesn't mean you can't be an asylum seeker. One of the reason more men go is because they often are subjected to more torture, they are often forced to be within the military, they can face worse consequences in countries like Sudan, or the DRC etc.

For example, in Eritrea, men are often subjected to indefinite national service. Those who try to evade conscription can face torture, imprisonment, or execution. Many Eritrean men flee for this reason.

In countries experiencing civil wars, like South Sudan, young men are especially vulnerable to being forcibly recruited into government or rebel forces. If they refuse, they may face violent reprisals.

Men in conflict zones are also victims of sexual violence, more than we expect. In the DRC, the UN has documented widespread cases of men and boys being raped in detention or conflict settings as a form of humiliation and control.

You also cannot claim asylum until you are on UK soil, unless you are coming from Ukraine and Hong Kong. That it is the only current programme which exists, and I'm happy about that but it means for anyone else from many countries in turmoil have to reach here before you can reach asylum seekers. There is UKRS which an existing scheme for vulnerable refugees. You have to be referred for resettlement by partners such as the UNHCR.

Also before Brexit we were part of the Dublin III Regulation in which the EU tried to determine which member state was responsible for examining an asylum claim. In practice states could return asylum seekers to the first “safe” EU country they entered - however since Brexit we can no longer do that. So that's another reason why we now have to take more asylum seekers.

Finally the reason why many asylum seekers lack passports or documents is because first many countries don't provide the documentation, if you are fleeing from a dictatorship or a violent regime you can't exactly go to the passport office and say can I have one before you try and escape.
If your facing, a girl facing FGM cannot ask the local authorities for a passport as the community is often complicit in the practice, making official documents impossible to access without flagging something.Or like in northern Mozambique last week when Al Shabbah forcibly displaced many from their homes and killed some people, children watching decapitation, displacing thousands, burning homes and committing atrocities. Families had no chance to retrieve personal documents before running for safety.

In northern Nigeria, Boko Haram raids on villages force mass displacement. When insurgents seize homes and property, residents not only lose shelter but also identity papers.

If you're escaping the sexual violence across Goma and the DRC, you are at risk of retribution from the military you cannot travel to your home (which many don't have any more), to get documents, you have to flee and do so as quickly as possible. Military forces, or militias often deliberately seize or destroy identity papers to control populations or prevent escape. For instance, Rohingya refugees in Myanmar were widely documented as having their papers confiscated, leaving them stateless, on purpose.

Edited

"You also cannot claim asylum until you are on UK soil, unless you are coming from Ukraine and Hong Kong. That it is the only current programme which exists, and I'm happy about that but it means for anyone else from many countries in turmoil have to reach here before you can reach asylum seekers. There is UKRS which an existing scheme for vulnerable refugees. You have to be referred for resettlement by partners such as the UNHCR." - so why don't these men take their families and go to a safe refugee camp?

Also before Brexit we were part of the Dublin III Regulation in which the EU tried to determine which member state was responsible for examining an asylum claim. In practice states could return asylum seekers to the first “safe” EU country they entered - however since Brexit we can no longer do that. So that's another reason why we now have to take more asylum seekers." - we received more returns than we were able to deport under Dublin III.

"Finally the reason why many asylum seekers lack passports or documents is because first many countries don't provide the documentation, if you are fleeing from a dictatorship or a violent regime you can't exactly go to the passport office and say can I have one before you try and escape." - they have enough time to plan, for their families to cobble together the smuggling fee, and contact a criminal gang, so you'd assume they might just remember to grab their documents on their way out of the door, and also remember not to throw them in the Channel on their way over.

"If your facing, a girl facing FGM cannot ask the local authorities for a passport as the community is often complicit in the practice, making official documents impossible to access without flagging something." - they are not men.

"Or like in northern Mozambique last week when Al Shabbah forcibly displaced many from their homes and killed some people, children watching decapitation, displacing thousands, burning homes and committing atrocities. Families had no chance to retrieve personal documents before running for safety." - again, they are not men; we don't get thousands of women and children fleeing; they go to safe places which are close.

Most of the places these men are fleeing require citizens to carry their national ID, so it wouldn't be a stretch to assume they would not only have one, but be used to carrying it 🙄

SleeplessInWherever · 18/09/2025 16:41

Women and girls are not men, you heard it here first!

LittleBitofBread · 18/09/2025 16:41

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 16:29

Clinging to literal mindedness …what does it achieve.

He hated Brits, he didn’t want to be British. I understand you are clinging onto paperwork……why? What’s the point? He preferred Rwanda, no doubt. His choice.

I don't understand what's 'clinging'. And 'hated', and speculating on what places he may have preferred. Your language is very emotional and fairly irrational.
And 'literal mindedness' – well, a more accurate term for that in this context is 'fact'.

But I'll try again to understand:

I was born in the UK.
I have a British passport.
You have no idea where my heritage is from, what I look like, what I feel about other British people, or what countries other than the UK I might 'prefer'.
Do you think I am British? If so, why? If not, why not?

usernamealreadytaken · 18/09/2025 16:45

AnotherNC12345 · 17/09/2025 12:58

Because you can’t apply for asylum from abroad, and visas are not available to people who don’t have the means to support themselves in the UK. Asylum is for people who are fleeing, not students or professionals who come for work or study. As mentioned before, we don’t know why the other half don’t meet requirements as this data is not published - that doesn’t automatically mean that they don’t qualify because of their circumstances, it could be because they don’t have a Filofax of evidence or because they missed appointments for whatever reason.

Just to clarify - I am in no way saying that 100% of people that reach this country are genuine asylum seekers. But I’m criticising the attitude towards those that are.

"visas are not available to people who don’t have the means to support themselves in the UK." That's why they pay the people smugglers and are told to claim asylum... Ever wondered why there's been such an increase in claims ever since communication became easier? TikTok videos and advertisements for how much you can get by moving West...

38thparallel · 18/09/2025 16:53

My 9x great grandfather was the illegitimate son of a Scottish Baron and a black slave in Jamaica

MrsSkylerWhite that is very interesting. How did you find this out? I would have no idea how to find out who my 9x grandfather was. Did he come to UK and if so roughly what date?

MsJinks · 18/09/2025 16:54

BerkoFilter · 18/09/2025 16:29

Clinging to literal mindedness …what does it achieve.

He hated Brits, he didn’t want to be British. I understand you are clinging onto paperwork……why? What’s the point? He preferred Rwanda, no doubt. His choice.

Literal mindedness - how else do you identify someone’s nationality except what it ‘literally’ is?
He was literally British - I imagine more than one Brit doesn’t much like being so, but you can’t just decide you are not - you remain literally British.
It seems this person hated everyone- extreme interest in extreme violence appears to have been the main driver, with some extra misogyny thrown in perhaps - doesn’t matter anyway as he was British whether he liked it or not.
So stop inventing that he wasn’t British because he didn’t want to be - it’s vaguely possibly true he thought that, but it’s actually (literally) true he was British.
Your suggestions how people aren’t British just don’t wash. It seems like you are grabbing at anything just to avoid what you can’t quite seem to say in direct language about being ‘British’ - but then you don’t like literal stuff do you.

AnotherNC12345 · 18/09/2025 17:09

usernamealreadytaken · 18/09/2025 16:45

"visas are not available to people who don’t have the means to support themselves in the UK." That's why they pay the people smugglers and are told to claim asylum... Ever wondered why there's been such an increase in claims ever since communication became easier? TikTok videos and advertisements for how much you can get by moving West...

Many asylum seekers don’t actually have the money themselves — they borrow it. Smuggling routes often run on debt arrangements, with families or even loan sharks financing the journey. Some asylum seekers arrive already heavily indebted.

OP posts:
ForgetMeNotRose · 18/09/2025 17:14

smallpinecone · 18/09/2025 12:22

Your wonderful experiences cancel out the stress and misery endured by others, I see.

No worries everyone. MrsSkyler had a great experience, so nothing to worry about. Any problems, she doesn’t want to know, in fact she’d prefer it if we just shut up 😄

I can see you have overlooked the point.

There would be a lot more misery if we didn't have talented people from around the world holding up our NHS. See also: most of our public services. The things that define our society and values.

Waiting times are horrific because the NHS is underfunded after long-term Tory government tried to run it into the ground.

smallpinecone · 18/09/2025 17:24

ForgetMeNotRose · 18/09/2025 17:14

I can see you have overlooked the point.

There would be a lot more misery if we didn't have talented people from around the world holding up our NHS. See also: most of our public services. The things that define our society and values.

Waiting times are horrific because the NHS is underfunded after long-term Tory government tried to run it into the ground.

Define your society and your particular values, yes.

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