“Don’t lose anymore” (whilst clutching their pearls)

[Whoknowsnotmeshrug]

I’ve always been overweight. Very overweight.

Over the last 20 months I’ve lost 7 stone, slowly, steadily, through calorie counting, exercise, and completely changing my lifestyle. I’m not underweight. I’m not even “ideal” weight. I’m just… not overweight anymore.

And yet people seem to think my body is up for discussion. Old ladies telling me to stop losing weight. People saying I’ve “gone too far” and that they’re “worried.” My mum even said she doesn’t want me ending up in hospital with anorexia.

It drives me mad. I actually feel infuriated by it. It’s not support, it’s intrusive. Am I being unreasonable to want to tell people to mind their own business? Maybe even to fuck off?!

YANBU – They’re nosy, rude, and can’t keep their opinions to themselves.

YABU – They’re just concerned

I think some people just feel it's ok to comment on other people's bodies. I'm not one of them, possibly because I rarely notice such things & don't attach much importance anyway. I have a friend who makes comments on the size of my breasts: I once asked her not to as I don't like it and she asked why not? Extraordinary reaction, I thought.

I'm wondering if the people who tell you to stop losing weight also make other comments about you?

But telling someone in the grips of anorexia not to lose more weight is also going to make things worse as well. What do you expect them to say ‘oh ok. I’ll stop my severe mental illness because you told me to’.

Maybe they are more concerned that it’s actually through WLI that you lost the weight, not (as claimed on your OP) just by calorie counting and exercise. Maybe they are concerned that you lied?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/weight-loss-injections/5270287-january-2025-starters-thread-4-lets-lose-some-more?reply=142350732

Welcome to the world of the slim, people always think it’s okay to comment on your weight! 🫠

People struggle to adapt to dramatic weight loss. I was never really large, but I used to be a bit overweight (11 stone, 5’5”). A couple of years ago I rapidly lost 2.5 stone when my marriage ended. Everyone said the same sorts of things to me then. I now weigh exactly the same (8 stone 7) and no one says anything. DD said to me last night that it wasn’t that I suddenly looked too thin, but just the dramatic change from how I’d been before. One of my friends recently said “you look so much better now than back when you lost all that weight”. But I haven’t put any of it back on! People have just got used to the new version.

Well done on your weight loss and I hope you feel fantastic for it.

That’s really funny @Elektra1 .

I have lost over 4 and a half stone this year, and gone from size 14/16 to size 10/12.

Most people have been lovely and supportive, but one “friend” who is definitely obese cannot stop herself from criticising me and questioning me every time I see her. It’s got to the point where I try to avoid her but we’re going on a group holiday next month.

I am fed up with explaining myself and am close to letting her have it with both barrels.

People who have lost a lot of weight often look very different and people's brains are programmed to expect familiarity.

It's not personal, it's just noticeable and compared to how your used to look you probably DO look a way that people can only name as gaunt. I lost nearly 6 stone during lockdown and I'm still not used to how I look now, especially my face.

I have gone from 75kg to 54kg and one lady in my exercise class has done the “you don’t want to lose any more” thing. I’m only 5ft 3 and I think I look great at 54kg which is what I am now. Not sure of that in old money. It’s only size 8/10 but I think we’re just used to most people being a bit overweight.

Luckily I can also easily do 15 full push ups, deadlift 38kg, bench press 30kg so her “you’ll get frail” nonsense wears thin.

I’m a size 10 from an 18 and people used to say this to me all the time but it’s stopped now I have been the same size 10 for over a year. I think people assumed I would wither away and not be able to stop losing weight so I had to prove to them I had self control? I am 10st I am not in any way thin

I’m a flabby size 14 and people love telling me I’m skeletal because I’ve lost five stone.

I used to get this when I got back down to my pre birth weight after having my daughter..all of a sudden my mil kept telling me I was looking "gaunt" (thanks mil!)
Now it's me telling my daughter the same as she is actually anorexic

Congratulations on your amazing weight loss Op. I’ve been in similar shoes many times in the past and when people say that I gently point out that I’m under medical care and that I just want to get to a healthy region.
A couple people have said it comes from a good place because it’s possible for it to go “overboard” and it’s a big change from what was before, therefore “shocking” for the eye.
People really, really should not comment, the exception being a very close family member if they are genuinely concerned and even then it should be handled delicately,

Be SO proud of yourself and what you are doing for your health. Fantastic!

You’ve lost 7 stone, that’s something to be proud of, not questioned.

Hmm I can see both sides of this and have been in this position too. Free I had my second child I was desperate to loss the baby weight and get back to my pre baby weight. I got to arround a BMI of 21 so still a healthy weight and not underweight. I got loads of comments like “you look great but your not going to loss anymore are you?” “I think that’s enough now” it drove me absolutely nuts as I didn’t think it was any of their business. But looking back although I wasn’t underweight I was displaying some worrying behaviours. Being overly restrictive, focusing on eating as little as possible not on nutrition, excessive exercise and being upset if I didn’t get to do my workouts. I would weight absolutely every single iteam of food that I ate even had my kitchen scales at the dinner table with me, I was consumed by the weight loss journey.

Those around me clearly seen some of those behaviours as concerning. Is it possible that it’s not your weight that is actually worrying people but your behaviour around weight loss? Although yes the neighbours should shut up but the people closest to are probably concerned, that’s not to say they are right to be but just something to think about.

If just 1 person said that to me, I'm not sure I'd have been very polite back!!! How bloody rude!
May I congratulate you on your weightloss? Assuming it wasn't illness or anything bad and it was what you wanted.

Who gives a shit if she lied. What business is it of anyone else what medication someone takes.

And she didn’t lie. WLI only work if you eat less and exercise more, they just help you to do that.

Well done you! Sounds like we ar win very similar spots right now!

ove lost weight 3 times already and put it back on. I’m hoping this is the time I can do it!!!

Yeah and you can see the horrible comments on this thread already, talk of eating disorders, being gaunt blah blah blah.

In fat people’s minds the only way someone else is not fat is by starving themselves, they simply cannot fathom anything else.

Maybe? A few people have directly asked me. I’d lost 5 stone Jan 24-Jan 25. Tried it for 7 weeks and kept feeling dizzy. Not for me but I’m certainly not judgy about those that it works for. Maybe I’m not a bit envious as I just couldn’t tolerate it.

Not sire what it’s got to do with people commenting in my weight loss and being rude?

People are terrified that the roles will be reversed and they will become your fat friend who has less self-control than you. Nearly everyone has hang ups about their weight. People take pride in being able to stay slim and they don’t want you to ruin it by catching up with them.

yep, I've found this any time I've lost significant weight. Some will even go out of their way offering cakes and treats, its weird to experience. You fulfill a role in their pecking order when overweight. They feel threatened when you change Stick with supportive people.

I hate this aaaumption that WLI doesn’t also involve willpower and exercise?!?! In the last month on WLI I have lost 1lb. Yes 1lb. Why? Because I’ve had family visiting a lot and have slipped on my diet. I’m now back on it but trust me it is requiring healthy eating and a great deal of willpower still. The jabs make it easier no doubt but you do still have to maintain a calorie deficit. That gets way harder as you lose weight so you have to exercise.

If they are slimmer, They've felt superior and does not enjoy that they're losing the superiority. If they are bigger, they don't like that you're no longer "one of us".

I'd vote for a third option - it's always people woth weight issues that comment on others.

Did you seriously go searching through this OP’s past posts to prove she “cheated” at weight loss by using jabs 😱. Just why?

I guess you have proved the point that there are people who are insanely jealous of others who lose a significant amount of weight and will use anything they can to drag them down a peg or two.