How can I stop obsessing over retirement

thecoolchicken1 · 2025-09-15T12:21:32+00:00

Its monday I hate working I work full time I have tried multiple jobs and just dont like working I earn £28k working full time I 35 years old Just a vent part from how can I stop thinking about retirement

TeeBee · 15/09/2025 13:28

How's your pension pot looking? If its crap, maybe taking a look at that and get a reality check on how your lifestyle would be trying to survive off it. It might help keep your mind on working to improve it.

If its overflowing...crack on.

HermioneWeasley · 15/09/2025 13:29

Without wishing to be harsh, you’ve got another 30 years of working ahead of you unless you win the lottery or marry a millionaire. So you need to find something you don’t hate, or reframe it somehow - that you’re lucky to have a job in this economy, that you’re lucky to be able to work etc

SoScarletItWas · 15/09/2025 13:36

Turn your retirement obsession into a retirement plan. If you’ve had multiple jobs, do you have multiple little bits of pension pots with different employers? Look at combining them for a start.

As Hermione says, you’ve got decades of work ahead of you. So reframe your job as the means of saving for retirement. Either stay with this company now so that you build up a decent pension pot (can you try and climb the ladder internally to increase your salary? Are you paying into the work pension scheme so that your employer puts as much as possible in alongside your contributions?) Or quickly work out something you might enjoy, if not dislike less, and make that your longer term move.

Original poster

thecoolchicken1 · 15/09/2025 13:36

HermioneWeasley · 15/09/2025 13:29

Without wishing to be harsh, you’ve got another 30 years of working ahead of you unless you win the lottery or marry a millionaire. So you need to find something you don’t hate, or reframe it somehow - that you’re lucky to have a job in this economy, that you’re lucky to be able to work etc

I feel worse now

OP posts:

RaininSummer · 15/09/2025 13:40

At 35 you are being very unreasonable. I assumed clicking the thread that you were at least over sixty. It's no way to live your life so maybe you need a different job.

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 13:41

TeeBee · 15/09/2025 13:28

How's your pension pot looking? If its crap, maybe taking a look at that and get a reality check on how your lifestyle would be trying to survive off it. It might help keep your mind on working to improve it.

If its overflowing...crack on.

She’s 35 and earning £28k- chances are pretty high it’s very much not overflowing.

OP are you seriously obsessing about retirement (ie obsessive behaviour) or do you just hate your job? The latter just needs a new job.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 15/09/2025 13:43

Turn the energy you are using into hating working to finding a job that you enjoy? Maybe you just need a change?

TeeBee · 15/09/2025 13:44

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 13:41

She’s 35 and earning £28k- chances are pretty high it’s very much not overflowing.

OP are you seriously obsessing about retirement (ie obsessive behaviour) or do you just hate your job? The latter just needs a new job.

Edited

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Well exactly! Not many have the luxury of retiring at 35, no matter what our earnings are. A cold hard look at the reality of the situation would certainly help me focus on what I could be doing to change my situation and start getting some decent compound interest laid down.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 15/09/2025 13:48

I get you 😅😅

I'm nearly 58 though and have seen my DPs, my DGP and many, many, MANY colleagues retire at the age of 60.

But guess what??? Fuckers moved the goalposts during my decades of slavery and there's no way I'll be going in 2 years!

To say that this situation gives me the RAGE is something of an understatement.

So I get you OP.
No advice, but I get you.

captainteddy · 15/09/2025 13:49

Some people just aren’t cut out for work but unfortunately everyone has to do it and for some people it’s unbearably painful and to others it’s not that bad so they won’t understand the struggle.
I have severe innatentive adhd and can’t concentrate on something for 10 minutes and sure as hell wouldn’t be able to for 10 hours.
I am a sahm at the moment and seriously considering suicide when the time comes that I have to return to the work place.
I have never been able to hold down a job.

Wingedharpy · 15/09/2025 13:51

What do you enjoy doing? - Could you develop a career along those lines?
Can you afford to drop 1 day per week? - I found having one extra day off each week made a world of difference in managing everything without being permenantly exhausted.
Do you have others to think about as you make your master plan? - Dependent children/husband/partner or are you flying solo?

Abominableday · 15/09/2025 13:53

Rich husband?

MathsMum3 · 15/09/2025 13:53

My father died aged 59, my brother recently died aged 60. Both worked full-time from age 16, neither reached retirement. Please don't wish your life away. Find something you enjoy doing, and live in the now. There's no guarantees for anyone.

Nourishinghandcream · 15/09/2025 13:59

I know exactly how you feel although I have to admit I didn't get that feeling at 35, it came a bit later!
Luckily I enjoyed my job and it was fairly well paid, it was just later on that the corporate speak and reinventing of the wheel made me want to leave.
Already enrolled in the company pension scheme, I concentrated on paying off my mortgage early and that done, I diverted all spare money into my pension. It gave me targets to aim for and a great sense of achievement when it came to fruition (at 57).

Bumblebee72 · 15/09/2025 14:11

There are thousands of different types of jobs, there must be one that you'd enjoy doing?

Amba1998 · 15/09/2025 14:15

Stop wishing your life away

Unless you invest heavily in your pension, on a £28k salary odds are your pension isn’t going to give you much anyway so it’s not going to be the most exciting life style

live for now!

CarpetKnees · 15/09/2025 14:15

You need to find a way of enjoying the life you are living.
Whether that is retraining, or whether that is tolerating the paid job you have but finding happiness in a hobby or some volunteering, or just learning a new skill that gives you joy.
You've likely got another 35 years of work ahead of you so this is more about looking at your whole life and finding some way of being happy where you are.

Original poster

thecoolchicken1 · 15/09/2025 14:19

captainteddy · 15/09/2025 13:49

Some people just aren’t cut out for work but unfortunately everyone has to do it and for some people it’s unbearably painful and to others it’s not that bad so they won’t understand the struggle.
I have severe innatentive adhd and can’t concentrate on something for 10 minutes and sure as hell wouldn’t be able to for 10 hours.
I am a sahm at the moment and seriously considering suicide when the time comes that I have to return to the work place.
I have never been able to hold down a job.

@captainteddy

I have struggled with work a lot and had thoughts of sucide too as I just find working that difficult dealing with people and the stress
5 days a week but cant afford to drop to 4 yet

People say change the job but it's just the same problems elsewhere. Ive changed jobs before and I still hate it

Having to work for the next 30 years gives me depression

OP posts:

Noelshighflyingturds · 15/09/2025 14:28

I work with drug addicts live in hostel honestly they have more money in their pocket then you or I would ever imagine on 28K in terms of disposable income. I do look at them sometimes. I wonder if they’ve got the right idea. The buggers seem to live forever as well.
One of them got hit by two cars and still survived unscathed

IsItAllMenopause · 15/09/2025 14:29

What job are you in and what previous jobs have you had? Maybe someone here can suggest something better for you.

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 14:38

Noelshighflyingturds · 15/09/2025 14:28

I work with drug addicts live in hostel honestly they have more money in their pocket then you or I would ever imagine on 28K in terms of disposable income. I do look at them sometimes. I wonder if they’ve got the right idea. The buggers seem to live forever as well.
One of them got hit by two cars and still survived unscathed

How do they have so much money? Are they dealing drugs? Don’t think that’s a viable option for OP 😂

dizzydizzydizzy · 15/09/2025 15:10

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 15/09/2025 13:48

I get you 😅😅

I'm nearly 58 though and have seen my DPs, my DGP and many, many, MANY colleagues retire at the age of 60.

But guess what??? Fuckers moved the goalposts during my decades of slavery and there's no way I'll be going in 2 years!

To say that this situation gives me the RAGE is something of an understatement.

So I get you OP.
No advice, but I get you.

This!

I hated being in the rat race. I was happier when I went self-employed.

Noelshighflyingturds · 15/09/2025 15:22

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 14:38

How do they have so much money? Are they dealing drugs? Don’t think that’s a viable option for OP 😂

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I was thinking, maybe she could fake it just like pretend to be a drug addict and get all the PIP and supported living etc. And then if she doesn’t actually spend the money on the drugs, she will be quids in

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 15:48

Noelshighflyingturds · 15/09/2025 15:22

I was thinking, maybe she could fake it just like pretend to be a drug addict and get all the PIP and supported living etc. And then if she doesn’t actually spend the money on the drugs, she will be quids in

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Well she won’t get PIP unless she happens to be disabled and probably won’t qualify for, or want to live in, a supported living hostel for drug addicts.

But I mean, if they’re living the dream it’s amazing there aren’t more of us trying to get into a situation which let’s face it, has pretty low barriers to entry 🤔

Noelshighflyingturds · 15/09/2025 16:46

Bambamhoohoo · 15/09/2025 15:48

Well she won’t get PIP unless she happens to be disabled and probably won’t qualify for, or want to live in, a supported living hostel for drug addicts.

But I mean, if they’re living the dream it’s amazing there aren’t more of us trying to get into a situation which let’s face it, has pretty low barriers to entry 🤔

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She will get pip if she pretends to be a drug addict, As you were saying it’s a low bar to entry I think she could pull it off rather than work for 30 years. That seems to be a mugs game