How can I stop obsessing over retirement

[thecoolchicken1]

Its monday
I hate working
I work full time
I have tried multiple jobs and just dont like working
I earn £28k working full time
I 35 years old

Just a vent part from how can I stop thinking about retirement

Marry rich man, have baby

By the time you get to be retirement age, you ll be double the age you are now. And you'll probably be desperate to be your age now.

Stop wishing your life away. If you don't like your job, do something else.But don't wish your life away

If you're happy that's fine, of course! I meant more for the OP. She's a long way off retirement so it's a good idea to plan to either work for good money or for personal fulfilment, or both.

I felt like this . I dont naturally like work and i am ‘61 and my pension age is 67 now - not 60 - so i am still working!
The only way I survived it so far is re invention!
I had a heavy professional carer for many years which nearly killed me and did cause health issues - but it was my vocation.
Then I became a viewer for an estate agent - which for a couple of years was really interesting!
The last few years Ive worked in cafes, done some cleaning. Now , and since I turned 60 , I work with animals ( and still do a bit of cleaning)
. The animal bit is fab and hardly feels like work( hate the cleaning)
.I wonder if change may help - sections- rather than a feeling of a long stretch ahead of you ?

I also had 4 years of work - when we had 2 under 2 - some people were really judgmental about me choosing to be a sahm , as they felt that I should use my professional qualification- but we cdnt afford nursery fees x2 and I d rather struggle financially at home than at work and loved being a sahm - even if it meant we had no car .

She doesn't know what she's talking about full stop. Still, if she wants to show herself up she's free to get on with it.

The small amounts cover flats bills and a PA doesn’t sound like a small amount to me.
Obviously, I’m taking the piss. Sorry you didn’t pick up on that but really working your arse off for 35 grand a year really isn’t sustainable for anybody.

I would advise focusing in your career to earn more. A higher paid job will allow you to enjoy daily life more and save for early retirement. These jobs normally have more autonomy and are more bearable.

Your attitude is similar to how I feel deep down but I earn enough to treat myself when I want and live comfortably. The job has flexibility so is hybrid, no strict start/finish time, no strict dessert code etc. Basically work is shit so focus on getting the most money and best conditions you can as you have to do it regardless!

I get it OP!

It sounds really corny but I have found the best way to feel better is to live in the ‘now’, and make your ‘now’ as good as possible! I read once that living in the past leads to depression, living for the future leads to anxiety… don’t know if that’s totally accurate, but the present moment is literally all that exists and if you’re not loving it then do something about it.

I am 35, felt like you for a long time, and now genuinely love my job. Things I tried and would suggest:

• Make a list of everything you enjoy and loved doing as a kid. See if any jobs can come from that.

• make a list of what you need from life to be happy. Lots of outdoor time? No people? Working with your hands? Repetitive stable reliable tasks? Exercise? See what jobs will work for you.

• National Careers Service

• drop a day at work or take one weekend day and use it to work on your passion/new job idea from above. Get into a new field that way eg volunteer at local football club - end up coaching, move on from there. Saturday job at local bakery - become thriving cake decorator. Contact local accountants and ask for help - become self employed accountant. Honestly if you make enquiries and connections, so many people will want to help you.

I'm surprised (barring extenuating circumstances) that someone aged 35 is earning the level a graduate makes. My son is 10 years younger and makes a few grand more.

How does that help? 😂 clueless. You have a very closed mind it seems.

I’m 35 and earn probably £12k a year 🤷‍♀️ I’ve been doing other stuff (travelling, studying, having and raising babies and renovating a house, then retraining for current job which I adore). So what. Getting on with my career now but it’s not going to pay me lots ever. Difference is my husband is well paid.

What an idiotic statement. And so nice of you to try to make someone feel bad.

Plenty of people earn that amount. Plenty of people earn higher amounts.

Just like some people are nice and others are utter twats I suppose

Nurse? Midwife? Fire fighter? Postie? Admin person in an office? Shop assistant? Hospitality worker?

These are all very common jobs that pay less than that. You sound quite inexperienced in life, do you not meet many different types of people?

I think you are very honest and I think many many other people feel the same way.

There is very little reward to low paid work.

Your state pension will be very similar to pension credit given to those who don't reach the state pension threshold.

Your lifestyle and buying capacity is likely the same or less (due to the costs of work) as those on universal credit.

I totally understand why people are rejecting work due to this, especially as the demands of all jobs are ever increasing.

People will say 'get a better job' - jobs are getting worse, more demanding, less flexible, worse conditions, fewer of them.

Low paid jobs are not low skilled - they are often extremely demanding, requiring a large variety of skills and also physically difficult.

Pay in jobs is not directly related to how hard people work - it is more to do with class, unions, perceptions of 'professionalism' and availability (which is often related to gatekeeping and nepotism)

I agree with this but I think it’s rooted in the past- maybe a reflection of age? You can’t just get universal credit anymore. You can’t just claim benefits and not bother working. Welfare reform came in 15 years ago. We should all recognise that life on benefits isn’t an option anymore. If you can meet the criteria to claim universal credit (you’ll have to work 16 hours a week minimum but I can see the attraction) then go for it, frankly. But most people have no way to access this without continuing some form of work, and many people will find UC doesn’t support their current financial lifestyle (ie if OP is a home owner or wants to establish a decent level of savings)

Just checked. Nurses and midwives earn around £31k when they start as Band 5 employees. Trainee apprentice firefighter gets around £33k at the LFB and then gets £44k after qualifying.

Why would someone be working at a shop or in hospitality at 35, unless they are progressing and like actually running the stuff behind the scenes and taking managerial responsibility?

Even so, like I understand that being a starting salary but surely you progress in salary every year?

It sounds as if you need a complete change of direction, OP. Training for a different sector of work.

Alongside some MH support to help you re-focus on what is possible rather than what is not possible.

You need to earn more quite frankly. I’m not saying that to be mean but you need to get as much in that pension pot as possible. Look at Civil Service jobs as they’ve got an excellent pension scheme. Could you do project management?

Do you not look around shops or restaurants/ cafes/ pubs and see people who are 35 ish working in them?! Don’t you see Amazon drivers or warehouse workers in this age group?😂😭 why wouldn’t they? People love those jobs.

isnt it obvious not everyone progresses? Otherwise the vast majority of the working population would be managers or senior leaders when they are clearly well in the minority in any organisation.

just step back and think a bit 😂😭

Do you have any hobbies / interests OP?

A lot of us hate the daily grind but see it as the pay off for things we enjoy. Even if those things are a cup of tea with Netflix, nice walks, a coffee with friends, paying for a roof over our heads as craft or crochet or cook.

Activities are often more fulfilling if done in a team with people you get on with. When you have some agency / say in your work. Things you get a sense of achievement from. This can either be work or leisure activities. Or volunteering in your spare time.

Which can boost your CV.

But as a first step, do you have any MH support? Talk to your GP?

You're very out of touch, I am in my late forties and earn 31,000

What about retail workers? Admin? Classroom assistant? Delivery driver? Carer?

Life isn't a perfect arc for everyone being promoted according to some spurious time line. Some people don't want the responsibility of management either.

I have never earned over £35k and I'm 59. For me it was through choice as I worked partish time in a very niche job with literally no promotion prospects. The job was the job, no manager position.

At 35????
You are obsessing over the wrong thing.
I think about retirement but I am 57, nearly 40 years in a full time proper job and I've still got 10 years before I get state pension.

If you get a decent employer match for your pension then max that out and put it in something aggressive like global equities.

It won't be exciting anytime soon but when you get into your 50s you will be so grateful. If your employer does not have a good pension look at one that does. Civil Service as mentioned. Think they pay 29% of your salary into a pension! 29% and employee pays nothing. That would be over 8k going in if you were in 28k. Though it is a defined benefit scheme so worth understanding what that means. Local council pensions also decent but not quite as good as CS.. If you do office work, have a look at AO roles which have a career progression path to EO and HEO. Learn their STAR techniques for interviews.

I get it op.

But its life. Focus on least worst outcome, and on earning enough to make life outside work as good as possible
Eg - if you know you will find all jobs shit, try and just a fucking boring but bloody well paid one that might either mean you could work part time or retire earlier.

Can you break it into easier chunks. Have you had kids yet?

Eg don't think about 30 yrs. Think:

• i will try do 2 more years in this job
• then might have a baby (?) And take max leave you can afford
• Plan to move roles to see if you can edge earnings up etc

Why would someone be doing entry level retail for their whole life? Surely after a while you get the run of the shop/store/restaurant/pub and become a shift leader at least? Classroom assistant - surely that's just a stepping stone to becoming a full time teacher?

If you don't want management responsibility when offered, then makes sense pay won't increase.

I'm 56 and I earn just into the 45% tax bracket.