How can I stop obsessing over retirement

[thecoolchicken1]

Its monday
I hate working
I work full time
I have tried multiple jobs and just dont like working
I earn £28k working full time
I 35 years old

Just a vent part from how can I stop thinking about retirement

Well no, she would actually have to be a drug addict with a PIP need 😂😭 if you worked with people who claim PIP you’d realise how hard it can be

What line of work are you in OP? Maybe we can suggest lateral moves, re training etc? It's sad to wish your life away, there must be other avenues of work 😊

You're getting some strange advice on here, OP. I think there is a job out there for everyone. Whether you can find out what it is and then pursue it is a another question. Look inwards: what did you like when you were young, what brings you purpose, what would you like to be able to have done before you die? What are your strengths, and what do you hate? Do some career quiz stuff online, and that Myers-Briggs questionnaire. I would try to see it as a quest to bring fulfilment to your daily life.

If that doesn't work, maybe get practical and go for promotions. Get as much in the retirement pot as possible and aim to retire 20 years from now.

Do you? I think many people just accept a job as something you need to do in life and aren’t particularly interested in anything. I count myself in this. If you said you can do whatever you like for work I would have zero ideas

I do agree that a lot of people never find their path to it for all sorts of reasons, but I believe it's there. But if you really aren't interested in anything at all, maybe that's where to start working on yourself?

Why? I’m happy with my salary, the brilliant benefits I get and the flexibility to have a half decent family life. What would I work on? That just sounds like a sound bite suggestion that doesn’t mean anything.

I feel you OP. I'm 34 and after a string of low paid jobs in my past, have landed the 'dream' job over the past few years where there is progression and better pay (and I have been progressing in that time), and in theory, fulfilment with the right level of challenge. So on paper it's all right, but I still can't stomach the idea of working another 30+ years, and I think about retiring all the time.

I agree with you, changing job isn't necessarily the solution (unless it's an absolutely awful job) as the problem is on how we feel. However I don't want to wish my life away as noone knows how long they've got so I decided to at least try something.
I was super sceptical at first, but I've started therapy (didn't just go with the first one but shopped around on the BACP website to find someone who specialises a bit in that feeling), and it has been really helping me to reframe. Although it is a gradual process, and sadly, an expensive one, if you are able to get access to some therapy or resources, I can say it is worth it/an investment to help understand better why you feel that way and have it stopping you from enjoying your life. I appreciate that you may not have access to this, but my point is more, try not to be sceptical of these resources and try different things even if free online videos or apps. If one doesn't resonate or work for you (god knows I would eye roll so hard if one more person told me to try breathing work or meditation) , keep trying, as it's worth it to find something that does. I don't want to keep feeling like that, and I don't want you to either.

OP, if you suddenly retired tomorrow, what would you fill your days with doing? Maybe visualise your ideal week and see if there is a job that fits in with that you’ve not considered: gardening, animals, children, sewing, walking, driving, etc.

Ridiculous.

How about joining a FIRE forum, they have tons of ideas on there. Agree with a pp who said you need a proper working plan.

If you hate work have you thought about going self employed? Best thing I ever did.

Ya think ?
working 40 hours a week for 40 years to end up with 40% of your salary to live on if you’re lucky to get that far is ridiculous.

I don’t deal with the paperwork just the rolling around in the vomit. Not particularly Difficult to fake though, Maybe an alcoholic would be simpler.
No danger of the police getting involved

I agree with @zipadeedodah, being self employed is very rewarding. Not without its challenges and insecurities but it sure motivates you to the extent that it doesn't feel like going go work.

You might be closer to it than you think. Look up Rebel Finance School on FB or YouTube…entirely free and brilliant for planning your freedom.

What do you do when you're not working? Try and make sure it's really enjoyable so at least a proportion of your time isn't awful.

If it's the people you struggle with try and think of something you can do on your own which would have to be self employed.

My DH also hates (all) people at work especially all the corporate politics and bullsh*t and is working on a side hustle he can turn into a solo self employed business and it's looking very promising and positive.

You evidently have no knowledge of the PIP process, nor any idea about treatment for substance misuse.

can you afford something part time and enjoy life more in other ways?

No, I don’t. I just see them livin the viva Loca having a better life than most people I know earning minimum wage taking care of them.

Yeah second this. You need a plan to financial freedom. Join Rebel finance school on Facebook. Do the course on you tube. And make a plan. You don’t have to work until you’re 67 if you start now and focus.

I don’t think you really even know what PIp is, and suspect you’re talking about universal credit.

both are small amounts of money for a single person either way

You need to find something you actually enjoy doing. Or find something you hate less. Or become self employed.

I have a friend who does cat and dog sitting plus holiday let cleaning. She sometimes does 6 cat visits a day plus walking a few dogs and as its 7 days a week earns really good money. Cleaning a holiday let is £15- £20 an hour. If you wash and iron the bedding it is £20 per bed. My cleaner works 6 days a week at £20 per hour. She is really good and has lots of clients, earns £35k. She lives it as she's her own boss.

@thecoolchicken1 what do you find so difficult about work? Everyone has stress and issues in their lives, and people need to deal with them.

If you don't want to work, what are your other options? You can marry a rich husband, and stay at home and take care of the house and raise any lovely DC you have. The other alternative is to sign off work "due to stress" and live life on the dole. Is that something you want to do? Live off other's people hard work who push through their stress and anxieties and contribute to the economy.

Do you have a chronic disability be it MH or Physical health related?

I'm 65 and about to reduce my hours and retire next summer. It's scary but I love work and always have. I started work aged 20 and had 7 years off with the DC when they were little so 38 years of work.

I'd love to be 35 and 30 years younger @thecoolchicken1 My achy knees and hips and greying hair doesn't make my final salary pension seem so filled with joy and anticipation.

Seriously, people need to work to live and ought to do so if they are able. What is it you do?

Trouble with this is without employer contributions it’s counter productive to getting a pension to retire with

OP, if you swarm your head with the longing for retirement, you will be unable to find joy in the present.
You need support in reframing your mindset.
I don't know anyone who has been able to retire before 55 and most 60 or over